Fuck Ashlee Simpson (3189 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: 0.55 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ingsoc (View user info) at 2004-08-02 13:17:27 EDT
I was on the Kazaa Lite the other night, looking for Heat Of The Moment by Asia. This proved exceedingly difficult, as when I typed in either the band name or the song title, it yielded nothing but tracks recorded by someone by the name of Ashlee Simpson. When the tracks finally were downloaded, they proved to be complete static and the noise your TV makes when the cable's not hooked up. One of them had a duration of thirty-nine minutes. This was simply unacceptable for a number of reasons, mainly because it raised a number of questions, and I don't like to field questions very much. These included but were not limited to...
Q: What the hell is that noise?
Q: Why the fuck would people knowingly distribute this?
Q: Who the fuck is Ashlee Simpson?
Q: And what in the hell is the Digital Millennium Copyright Act?
My answers...
A: Irritating.
A: People are assholes, myself included. Simply for pleasure, we will wait until someone has almost finished uploading a song from us (and is literally half a moment from getting it) and disconnect them, because we're assholes; we can't be held accountable for our actions.
A: Some dumb bitch whom I can't be bothered to Google.
A: Whatever the fuck is keeping me from finding a good Kazaa Lite download site.
This was probably some kind of deterrent by the Powers That Be to prevent infidels like myself from stealing from record companies, because we are scum who cannot be trusted. Surely it is the only logical answer to fuck up songs with tiny bits of static, much louder than the actual song, in order to deafen these electronic mongrels. If they cannot hear then they will not download! RIAA, you've made the world safe for another generation you will invariably strap into the planet's most profitable ass-raping machine, without an option for lubrication.
If these "artists" are starving, they can help themselves with my delicious manseed.
I ended up giving in and doing a Google on Ashlee Simpson. What an ugly cunt. Not to mention corporate puppet, and not in the good way.
Fuckers.
User Reviews
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-31 16:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She's a fucking whore.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-10-27 19:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TeenageDirtBag (user info) at 2004-08-25 18:30:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
Ashlee Simpson is hot you fucking retard. Shut up.
__________________________________________________________________
Therefore she shall henceforth be immune to all other criticism about other aspects of her being. How insensitive of me.
Fuck you, go play alone somewhere.
Submitted by TeenageDirtBag (user info) at 2004-08-25 18:30:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ashlee Simpson is hot you fucking retard. Shut up.
Submitted by Nikki at 2004-08-12 21:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, like you'll ever become anything close to what she has worked so hard to become. You're nothing but a rude, inconsiderate, PRICK! Grow up!
CONGRATS ASHLEE SIMPSON ON EVERYTHING YOU'VE BECOME!!!!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-03 00:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Use Ares www.aresgalaxy.org. Way better.
Submitted by EvrenWasHere (user info) at 2004-08-02 21:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ironically, the best place to download kazaa lite, is on kazaa.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i hated that shit back when i used to download.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-08-02 16:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.oldversion.com
Submitted by akrofiild (user info) at 2004-08-02 16:10:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kazaa is full of shit files and popular music (not saying that pop music sucks). Get Bearshare or Limewire.
Submitted by facenuts (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You deserve it for using Kazza.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:29:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Surprised you didn't find any of those static mp3's from other artists. They tend to circulate right before or during an album's release.
I'm sure right after you heard the static you got frustrated, hopped in your car and went and bought the cd.
Record Companies != Brilliant
Submitted by convicted_child_rapist (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I raped her dead.
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:43:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I did not read this, but +2 for the title.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PS, along with wardy I too had to stifle my laughter at that vomitous statement. But to each his own.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:20:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
I finally got a good version of Heat Of The Moment.
I don't like a lot of today's music (a similar previous bitching will confirm this), and what I do like I don't download out of laziness and forgetfulness. For me, 1980 to 1991 seems to be the golden age of all music.
----------------
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA..... HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAH.....
ahem...
you've got to be fucking kidding me
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Point made- but logical explanation or not, it still pisses me off.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why should I buy the loaf when I can get free slices?
____________________________________________________________
That pretty much says it all. That's exactly what BMI, ASCAP and the labels are thinking. Why would you buy the loaf if you can get free slices. Hence the need to eliminate that by creating tacks such as the ones you downloaded.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, I DO buy compact discs- if it's a group I like for more than one song. I'm not spending $24.99 on Asia's Greatest Hits to hear one song. And don't tell me about Puretracks or whatever other shitty consumer-rape devices being set up these days- why should I buy the loaf when I can get free slices?
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I finally got a good version of Heat Of The Moment.
I don't like a lot of today's music (a similar previous bitching will confirm this), and what I do like I don't download out of laziness and forgetfulness. For me, 1980 to 1991 seems to be the golden age of all music. Those albums don't sell anymore, and I say this without any actual information to base it on. The profit loss on downloading Vanilla Ice today is much different than if one could download Ice in 1990. It's rotten for artists who have current albums, less so for bands who have disintegrated or died. Yeah.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's free downloads, deal with it, or buy your music.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What does people wanting to be rightfully paid for their hard work have to do with fascism? I've downloaded plenty of tracks, but when I get one like that I can't argue. Being an artist myself I definitely want to get paid for my work, not have people steal it.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:09:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, I knew that. That's why I'm pissed- the fact that it's an effort of such a fascist and unloving (not to mention brainless) movement.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-08-02 13:56:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-02 13:37:40 (#)
Ranking: -1
Q: Why the fuck would people knowingly distribute this?
---
You just downloaded from a machine provided by the RIAA. It's intended to discourage users from swapping files.
__________________________________________________________________________
Exactly. That's there attempt to fight piracy. You may also see looped tracks.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2004-08-02 13:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd fuck Ashlee Simpson.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-08-02 13:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's more of a philosophical question. You wouldn't understand.
Submitted by fag <ifuckchickens.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-08-02 13:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
People should have the right to fuck with you and you shouldn't have the right to complain about it. Not everyone like you, just you.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-02 13:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Q: Why the fuck would people knowingly distribute this?
---
You just downloaded from a machine provided by the RIAA. It's intended to discourage users from swapping files.
Submitted by WallFlower (user info) at 2004-08-02 13:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Hating Ashlee Simpson
Is your SN in reference to 1984??
Am I a loser for asking that?
Why am I still typing?
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-02 13:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That stupid fucking whore has greedy old men planning her every move--that's not a life, that's slavery.
I wouldn't free that stupid bitch--just let her die.