John Kerry Announces his REAL VP pick, IT IS NOT JOHN EDWARDS! THIS IS REAL!!! READ ON... (883 hits)
Category: Politics -> DemocratsRating: -1.06 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Notorious L.e.d.H.e.a.d (View user info) at 2004-08-02 14:20:47 EDT
You heard it here first ladies and gentlemen! It appears there has been a little confusion on the part of the Democratic ticket. John Kerry has reportedly said that there has been some misunderstanding about who his REAL Vice Presidential pick is. READ ON...
John Kerry told CNN (Communist News Network) that his real VP is not John Edwards, but John Edward, the notorious psychic from the SciFi Channel show "Crossing Over with John Edward".
Kerry said that he did not realize the mistake until future Secretary of State, Ben Affleck, pointed it out while talking to people in Pennsylvania. Kerry told CNN, "Future Secretary of State, Ben Affleck, my good friend, came up to me and asked who the little guy with the good hair was. I looked and didn't know, so I had future Attorney General Whoopie Goldberg take care of him. My real VP, is John Edward, he is busy at the moment traveling in the Midwest trying to convince people their dead relatives want them to vote for me, which is true. I fought in Vietnam, and I have three purple hearts and a silver cross. And John Edward and I would like to say, Help Is On The WAY!"
After saying this the crowd stopped having an orgy and started cheering. John Edward was unavailable for contact, but he issued this: "I'm sensing someone close to you that love you, they want to say that they are happy and at peace. They also want me to say that George Bush is the offspring of Satan, and that John Kerry is who you should vote for, or go to hell."
This confusion is very understandable. As everyone knows, John Edwards, the man we thought to be the VP, is a notorious member of the VIP (Vanilla Ice Posse), not to be confused with the crappy show VIP that I watched only because of Pam Andersen's big boobs.
John Edwards was not available for comment, but Vanilla Ice told reporters "John John is very upset dawgs. But the VIP is XTREME! We shall overcome. And one more thing, Johnny Boy is gonna be back with a brand new invention bitch! In four years, the VIP will be in charge of America, AIGHT! Now I'm gonna go and record another hard core metal album! BITCH!"
John Kerry shall meet up with true VP John Edward in 3 weeks, where they will be seen together for the first time.
You have wasted enough of your time now, go away.
John Kerry's REAL VP Pick, John Edward. Don't forget to VOTE!
User Reviews
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-08-02 19:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That's really pathetic, Ledhead. Way to retaliate.
I guess this shows the maturity levels around here.
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 19:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think you love me, you can't get enough of me. What kind of a bitch camps out at someones post and won't leave him alone? Holy shit bitch, you want my number? I bet your fat and ugly and have a penis, so I don't think we should date, sorry. I'm available for all the hot bitches that want some though.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-08-02 19:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's fun to hate you. I apologize if my insulting abilities are not up to par - I usually don't meet people this stupid, so I haven't gotten a chance to practice.
As for "a few" replies.... 11 out of 31 replies are yours. That's not a few. That's more than a third.
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 19:08:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Me, that's who. ANother lame insult! Way to go! How dare I reply to a couple of people! Change your name to ThatOneISuck because you do! And stop reading my posts if you hate me so much, BITCH!
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-08-02 18:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The post sucked.
And I see you take criticism well. Honestly, who the fuck camps out on their own post and replies to everyone?
Submitted by Biznochizzle (user info) at 2004-08-02 18:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:13:30 (#)
Ranking: -2
This post seriously made me consider trashing all of my Led Zeppelin CDs. And I really like Led Zeppelin. But the current Zeppelin fan base is a solid 55% retarded.
...............
Wiggles inclusive.
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey look at me! I'm a random Joe, I don't feel like signing up/logging in...Please love me.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-02 17:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, uninformed and lacking a factual basis. Great combo fuckwad.
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the_lone_stranger-
South Park eh, that's where I got the inspiration! I saw that episode...HEHE...wait, Wiggles might not wanna watch South Park anymore now, ah shit, all he can do now is jerk off to his tape of Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl. FUCK HIM BURN IN HELL! The only reason I hate you is questioning Led Zeppelin, you are such a bitch...Wiggles that is
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-07-25 23:55:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
It's stuff like this that can almost drive a man to be embarrassed about liking Led Zeppelin.
But somehow, I will find the strength to rock on.
That's from a post I did a while ago. Maybe you should just quit listening to Zeppelin, you obviously don't love them enough. BURN IN HELL BITCH! And think up some new insults, you suck worse then ThatOneGirl...ASSHATS
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Biggest douche in the universe!
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wiggles-
You obviously don't like Led Zeppelin if you would do that. I'm pretty sure Led are Dems, just like every other band in history. Ten Years After are one of the most liberal bunch of dumbasses ever, but I still like their music. If you judge your music on the fans, you don't deserve to live. You are obviously in a popularity contest and want people to like you. I think it's obvious I could give a fuck if you douche bags like me. Because I hate 99% of you. I hope you trash you Zeppelin albums, because you are a disgrace to Rock N Roll everywhere. I hope you die. Bitch.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
After saying this the crowd stopped having an orgy and started cheering.
And thine pregnancies shalt be vastly decreased whence news of his [Edward's] coming is given.
So the prophecies are fulfilled...
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So DeathMetalFuck, your saying that it's Republican? Wow, I once respected you for some of the music you liked, but now I see you have no penis, thus I herby declare my hatred for you.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:13:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post seriously made me consider trashing all of my Led Zeppelin CDs. And I really like Led Zeppelin. But the current Zeppelin fan base is a solid 55% retarded.
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I GET IT!!! Your making fun of Kerry because he sucks, guess I'll -2 this post then go back to my worthless life! I run a website for a bunch of fuckheads! Did I mention I'm 40 and still a virgin!
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:50:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I admit that I am not the best uberuser on this website, but fuck man, I knock the shit out of you. Go home.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I suck? Woahoahoa now, lets take a look at yourself first, dickcheese. I'm not one to talk down to anyone, but you're just cruisin for a big uber bruisin.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was mildly amusing way back when it was going around when Edwards first ran for the Senate, now it's just old and done.
(insert bush and dick joke here)
Submitted by LedHead at 2004-08-02 15:21:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I suck, I'll just go away now. Maybe I'll fellate myself to ease the shame of this pathetic post.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I get it! It's funny because they have the same name!
Your hilairiuos!!
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Anyone claiming that CNN is leftist is a moron and deserves a shard of glass in the eye.
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, benevolent spelling administrator, I'm sure that no one will understand towntown from downtown. But for those dumb fucks that won't understand, it is downtown. There you go, douche. I hope I spelled that right. Wow, a post making fun of Dems, better -2 it because John Kerry has no chance of winning and making fun of him is bullshit!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A psychic VP would know how to actually win an election, I think.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:49:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:40:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Tom-
You are one of the few old people on Uber that suck. By old I mean they have been on Uber a long time. You should go towntown with an "I Hate Niggers" sign, and let me live in peace.
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towntown? eh? you faggot.
learn how to write, then come back in a few years
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tom-
You are one of the few old people on Uber that suck. By old I mean they have been on Uber a long time. You should go towntown with an "I Hate Niggers" sign, and let me live in peace.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dumbest shit I have evar seen. EVAR! Bluuh.
Submitted by mjt7420 (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shay, coming from you, thats a compliment. Your Posts are the worst in the history of Uber. Don't even bother writing anymore, because you SUCK. Cheers.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:27:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your attempt at being comical failed, miserably.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"se"
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:25:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
CLick the link dumbass, and you will se it...DIE AND GO TO HELL!
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The fucking up of the picture was just icing on the cake.
Submitted by geofroley (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Terrible.