Help me, Überfriends! (798 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.6 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UnAssKickable (View user info) at 2004-08-02 14:41:48 EDT
Alright, Uber, my best friends girlfriend is hot. She has a very nice ass and huge tits for a thirteen year old. You could say she's precocious, she's had sex before, and after a little bit of flirting and shameless flattery, I've managed to seduce her while he was away at camp. She's willing to have sex with me but she's my best friends girl. I want to get some ass but I don't want to ruin my friendship. The saying "Bros before hoes" comes to mind, but I'm still not sure. Well Über, should I tap my best friends girlfriend or wait till I'm older to get laid?
User Reviews
Submitted by myredmirage95 (user info) at 2005-05-08 22:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Grow a pube...
By then she will have aquired syphilis and gotten herself knocked up...and because you didn't do her, the kid can't be claimed to be your's and you'll be STD free.
Submitted by pushedbyboredom (user info) at 2005-05-08 22:10:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Although this is probably one of the shittiest posts ever written, the reviews are fucking hysterical. You need to grow up a little before you fuck anyone and then grow up a little more before you post again.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-05-08 21:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm calling the cops..
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-05-08 21:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
patrick 4 worst eva
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-04-01 00:56:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
At 13, what are you planning to use to fuck her? Your Pee-Pee is still pu-ny.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-01 00:37:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus fuck. She's a feotus dude. So are you!
Wait 3 years before doing anything. At LEAST 3.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-08-03 10:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Get her to fart in your mouth, move to Iraq, and stick a q-tip up your piss-hole.
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2004-08-02 22:51:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
EW
Submitted by sosjtb1999 (user info) at 2004-08-02 22:50:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If I was this chick's dad I would kick your monkey ass for trying to bang my 13 year old daughter.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-08-02 22:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JeremiahC (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:42:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't bother, you're going to discover you're gay soon anyway. I say save yourself some time and just start sticking stuff up your ass right now.
______________________
HAHAHAHA!!!
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2004-08-02 22:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
How much hotter is she than your girlfriend?
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2004-08-02 22:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That little U with the 2 dots is not gonna get anyone around here to be your friend. You're better off leaving because you really don't belong here. But as long as you've already wasted my attention, allow me to open your eyes to the truth...
YOU'RE 13 YEARS OLD. YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BOTHER THINKING ABOUT IT.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-08-02 18:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
13 is a good age to lose your virginity actually. I'd say hit that pussy, and make her swear not to tell your buddy unless she likes to wear her intestines around her neck.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This entire sordid tale had better be a fake. Good fucking grief.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:34:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Anyone suggest murder/suicide yet?
Submitted by closer (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Alright, since everyone else is being a bunch of assholes, lemme go ahead and do the whole "advice" thing. Like the little man asked.
1. If you like your best friend, don't.
2. If you like her, don't
3. If you're thinking of sabotaging those two, don't.
4. If you're 13, don't.
Good god man, think about it. Your 13. In theory, that's pretty fucking gross. I know of pornstars who lost their virginity later than that.
Now, here's the ass hole point of view. If anything, she may end up liking you and dumping him without any help from you. HOWEVER, it is then solely your decision to hook up with her. Just might not want to tell him for a while .......
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:10:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The answer to all life's questions is 7.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're fucking 13!!!! You shouldn't have sex with her whether she is your best friend's girlfriend or not!
Now if you were older, I would tell you to leave her alone. Some best friend you are.
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:46:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If your friendship is worth anything, don't. If you don't care about he who you call your friend, then why do you have to ask someone else? If your relationship with this person is so shallow or expendable that you'd risk it for this and still call him a friend, I think you've bigger issues to deal with than this.
Stay orange.
--JW
Submitted by JeremiahC (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:42:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't bother, you're going to discover you're gay soon anyway. I say save yourself some time and just start sticking stuff up your ass right now.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're better off just masturbating...
By the way, I hope you get your ass kicked real soon.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:20:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shenanigans
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
13
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a fucking asshole.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:06:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Instead of tapping her ass, tap your skull. With an axe. Hard and vigorously.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Aww c'mon guys, give him a break. This post is great.
...for me to poop on.
Submitted by UnAssKickable (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well let's say it's totally hypothetical, should I have sex with my best friends girlfriend?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:53:07 (#)
Ranking: -2
Does she sleep with her mouth open?
---
hahaha
Submitted by CountNoCount (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHA. For a brief second, I thought your handle read, "UnAssLickable."
That would have been so much funnier.
Submitted by mjt7420 (user info) at 2004-08-02 15:00:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're fucking 13?!?! jesus christ
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think your handle is bullshit and i would like to prove my theory.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eiffel tower is the best answer
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This sounds like a bad ABC After School Special.
Piss off. The last thing any of us want to read about is how some pre-pubescent 13-year old is having a crisis of conscious over whether or not his little 13-year old buddy, who is away at summer camp, would be mad if he stuck his little Gherken in some 13-year old future prostitute.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Does she sleep with her mouth open?
Submitted by convicted_child_rapist (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The answer is rape, pure and simple.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:50:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Try to have a threesome, that way you can truly enjoy your youth.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i've done this...but with a best friends EX ...and it ruined our friendship.
so i f the friendship means nothing, then go right ahead,
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't tap that ass, hers is already traumatized by years of spankings by her parents.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:44:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear Mother Fucking Newbie
Tap that shit, then tell your best freind she seduced you.
Then get all three of you together for a confrontation.
Then all of you drink poison Kool-aid.
Write Better shit or die,
Love
Alahackbar
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:44:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get her drunk and slip your weiner in her when she's sleeping.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:43:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your best bet is to just kill yourself and be done with the whole mess. That way, your friendship stays intact and you don't have to suffer the embarrassment of premature ejaculation . . . because let's face it, you know you would.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-08-02 14:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Let me save everyone the trouble:
User id: 9962
Registered on or around: 2004-07-02 23:15:30
# Messages posted: 2
# Reviews written: 24
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 30
# Hits: 704
Average rating of all messages: -1.00