Even Asses need some lovin' (789 hits)
Category: Politics -> AfghanistanRating: 1.6 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Degreeless (View user info) at 2004-08-02 16:33:53 EDT
It started like any other day, I got out of bed and stretched. I put on my veil, although I don't know why I wear it. The men should like it more when I don't wear it, but for some reason they make me wear it. Today was a boring summer day, and I was heading for the computer. After I'd been sitting against the chair for a while, I fell asleep.
Have you ever had a serial dream? Like you dreamt something before and the next time you dreamt, the last dream seemed to continue? That's what happened to me. I remembered my dream. I was at my own funeral, and many people were weeping. That's right, I killed myself in my dream, and now I was being buried. This was a very depressing dream, not to mention boring, so I farted. The funeral director said it was just some loose air slipping out through the skin, though, and he pressed the skin together to make another fart. Damn, I really was dead.
When I finally woke up, I had to take my prozac again. I was special, for instead of a mouth tablet, I had to take a suppository. I figured it would be the same to take it by mouth, but to make sure I took it in the ass, they gave me these big-ass pills. They were hard to swallow.
I sighed as I left the apartment, not being able to see through this veil. I left for the local grocery store to buy some food, like any other day. Today was boring. When I was at the food store, I saw lots of guys checking me out. They must like asses, cause I was with my friends who had good boobs, but they weren't looking at them until the checkout.
That night, I was supposed to show at some party. It wasn't going to be all that fun, because everyone in town was invited. The people I saw at work would be there. My family and friends would be there, too.
I got to the building at 6:00, and happened to be a bit early. I wandered around for a bit, but then I felt it coming. I began to feel really depressed again, even though I'd taken my prozac this morning. Oh well, I could hold in my feelings until it was over.
By the time 7 rolled around, everyone was there. I began talking with some people I'd recognized, although I had to keep silent in case anyone heard me. The people I were talking to also had to be silent, especially since we were women. Men didn't think women should talk, some even thought we couldn't talk. By 7:30, my boss started talking to me, telling me about work and stuff, and I just nodded in acknowledgement. He began talking to me like I was a child and I was getting mad. After about five minutes, I received some papers from him and he slapped me. I couldn't take it anymore. I yelled out to him and started crying furiously. I was soon the center of attention, and stood silently, feeling really embarrased.
I didn't feel like I had any friends here. I felt rejected from the whole community, and that's when a boy came up to me and comforted me. He patted me and told me that the party was in honor of my hard work in the community. I knew I'd volunteered a lot, but I didn't think anyone took notice. Then I began to recognize lots of the people I'd helped with all sorts of things. I sighed heavily and smiled, and everyone's eyes started to water, but I knew they were tears of joy.\
That night, when I got home, I started for bed and the jeans were taken off of me. I could breathe again. "I can't believe I farted in front of the whole party. I guess I shouldn't have had that burrito..."
User Reviews
Submitted by heater (user info) at 2004-08-11 12:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heater time. Doo, doo, doo, dum...Can't cool this!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-09 16:15:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kisser of all ass! :oP
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did this really happen?
I really wish it didn't, because your boss shouldn't slap you.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, but its hard to post in the viewpoint of an ass.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAMMERPANTS!
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:06:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
OK, might be me but I didn't really understand that story.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope this is shenanigans, I'd hate the thought of such a pretty girl being hurt :(
Submitted by cacodemon (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait...is she an Afghan woman or an ass? Or both? An Afghan woman's ass?
MC HAMMER will solve my dilemma!
Submitted by geofroley (user info) at 2004-08-02 17:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I need those pants.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-08-02 16:54:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAMMERTIME!
Submitted by dirtygook (user info) at 2004-08-02 16:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
STINKYJAP WHERES YELLOWHAND?!
Submitted by stinkyjap (user info) at 2004-08-02 16:36:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WANG CHUNG TONITE!