A Night At The Bar...... (1258 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1.52 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HotShitKatie (View user info) at 2004-08-03 10:56:05 EDT
Every weekend I hit the local sports bar with my cousin and some friends. We
used to prefer dance clubs, but eventually realized that most guys who
dance, are gay. Besides, the universal look (tight black t-shirts and
jeans) gets really old and quite frankly the metro sexual look is not that
appealing (make a mental note). After much discussion we all decided that
real men love sports and what better place to find real men than in a sports
bar. In any case, we have all become semi-permanent fixtures at this bar,
have become friends with the bartenders and even get free shots from time to
time. It's usually a guaranteed good time..but I digress. What never
ceases to amaze my group of friends is that alcohol seems to give not-so
attractive men (who am I kidding, they're BUSTED!) the RIDICULOUS notion
that they may have a chance at landing one of us for the night. We're all
attractive, exude confidence, know how to have a good time and generally
just don't give a fuck, which apparently draws men in. Damned if I can
figure it out. All I know is that the 40 year guy sitting alone at the bar
with a pony tale, tapered jeans, and the Hawaiian shirt don't stand a
chance, but will undoubtedly find his way over to one of us. Don't get me
wrong, we don't mind the free drinks or the shots bought from across the
bar, but please....stay over there! I don't mean to sound ungrateful, so
don't misunderstand; free shots of Cabo are always welcome and a guy showing
interest is usually flattering. The problem is that it seems the men who
approach don't realize that their interest is far from flattering, in fact
it's down right insulting! For Christ sake, I leave the bar wondering if I
see myself in a far better light than the rest of the world; I wonder if I
should just stay in the house from now on, resign myself to a life of lonely
Friday nights at home with my dog. Why is it that I have more balls than
any attractive guy in the bar, but half-pint with the busted grill has got a
bigger nut sack than any body in that bar! Some body please explain it to
me! The moral of this story, folks, know who's in your league and who isn't
and when in doubt, don't approach; send a shot for her and her friends and
if she digs you she'll come talk to you!
User Reviews
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-11-16 20:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:08:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Congratualtions on being physically attractive.
It's unfortunate that you're so ugly on the inside.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-03 19:31:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
couldnt have possibly occured to you that you're not hot shit, and you think you're above everyone else because you've had tee many martoonis? or possibly because you've built up the notion that you "must be attractive" because your ex boyfriends told you so? or maybe arrogance and blind ignorance is just your thing and you like to be a complete stuck up douche. buy shots for you AND your friends just to say fucking "hi"? are you mental? you think im made of money? christ, not every guy at a bar is attracted to you, and not every guy trying to say something to you is constantly thinking "sex... her.... vagina.... fisting.... sex.... sex..... fisting.... sex...."
get over yourself you stuck up cunt
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-03 14:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You guys are on a tear!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-08-03 14:28:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
doesn't it worry you that you are starting to get up there in age and still all alone? maybe it's time for a little reflection.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-03 14:24:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey AlahAckbar...Its guys like you who I leave
with a face full o' cum, after I spit in your face.
-----------------------------------------------
... so the BJ is guaranteed, then?
SCORE!
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-08-03 14:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by KatieKate (user info) at 2004-08-03 12:35:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey AlahAckbar...Its guys like you who I leave
with a face full o' cum, after I spit in your face.
But the fact of the matter is, sweetyheart, that I was the one who pulled my dick out of your ass and shoved my cock in your mouth in the first place.
You are nothing more then a whore to me. You really really are. I'm sorry. Maybe I did it to you? Maybe I did it to some of your freinds? Who knows. But the fact of the matter is, your alone, your lonely, and your quickly getting old. Your time as a pleasure bunny is running out. Pretty soon your not going to have any purpose left on this planet. Maybe you should think about that?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-08-03 14:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:34:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
I gotta tell you, Shitfck is right. He's fucking hot and hysterical and fun to talk to. You would give up your left arm to go out with him, I promise you that. Thank god that guys like him can see through girls like you.
The fact is, honey, you wrote an entire post about how false confidence is annoying. How guys who aren't that hot shouldn't talk to you because you are too good looking for them. And maybe you are really hot, I'll assume you are telling the truth about that. But you know what? That might get you laid by a disease-ridden manslut, and little else.
If you don't have the personality to back up the looks, no one is going to want you for more than a drunken suck and fuck.
I'd suggest taking those mediocre-looking fellows a little more seriously, because I have a newsflash for you : You are not a great catch.
Bitches like you are a dime a dozen. What the great guys are looking for (and by great guy I mean hot and funny and sensitive and caring, the kind of guy ho would make their girl really and truly happy) are girls with looks, sure, but girls with more than just looks. Girls who are kind and funny. Girls who are polite and sweet. Girls with something interesting to say.
From the looks of this post, you just don't cut it.
================================================================
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:23:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
I see girls like you all the time at clubs--ditzy, blonde, trash talking, self centered...etc.
I want to tell you I hate, but I don't--I mean, girls like you are the easiest thing on earth to take home, pound a few times and dump. So I respect you for your ability to consume massive amounts of semen and still feel like you have an ounce of self-respect.
Now, I imagine your reply will be something like 'you're ugly, you could never fuck me, blah blah blah...' so before you get to your Paris Hilton Book of Comebacks, let me inform you that you're wrong. I'm the kind of man you'd die to be with, but could never keep--I don't know what you look like, but I'm sure it's dissappointing--and when the looks that you do have fade away, you'll be left with an empty head, broken heart and a meaningless existence.
My suggestion:
Take up prostitution. At least that way you get paid for being a whore, perhaps you could invest in some T-bills and buy yourself an Asian love slave when you retire.
Good luck to you.
================================================================
i had to post those again for you. study them. you need all the advice you can get.
oh, and as shitfuck said, i'm also one of those guys that you wish would talk to you, but can see right through you. i used to take sluts like you home and screw them and kick them out promptly, telling them to hurry up while they were putting on their clothes and crying. then it got old, and i needed a girl with some substance, and like lojope said, you just don't cut it. you will never get guys like me or shitfuck. never in your life. so start screwing the ugly guys, because it's all you're worth.
Submitted by lrw (user info) at 2004-08-03 13:58:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
waste of time
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-08-03 13:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you are a lost girl...
the reason the attractive guys don't talk to you is because you aren't good enough for them, so you might as well start fucking the ugly guys before you get cobwebs in the rafters. the good looking guys are looking for girls with a little substance, not drunk girls that think they are hot because they have their belly button pierced and a tattoo above their ass (which is fucking gross, by the way). those guys are going there for the sports, not you. they can meet sluts anywhere. they just want to drink with the guys and watch the game, not deal with some slut's pathetic attempt to pick them up by pretending they like sports, too. i used to have girls come up to me and say "don't you want to buy me a drink?" they always thought they were hot shit and could get away with it because it worked on other stupid guys, but i love to see their face when out of my mouth was a resounding "no". then i would kindly ask them to get out of my way while i made my way over to my buddies to drink some beers. i don't care how good looking you think you are. if you have to use your looks to pick up a guy, i feel sorry for you. i prefer women who try to use their other resources, like ones that are intelligent and can make me laugh. i hope this cleared everything up for you. guys can see right through a slut like you and that's why they don't talk to you. the ugly guys just want to get laid, so why not go home with them?
Submitted by isthisallthereis (user info) at 2004-08-03 13:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A 29-year old stuck up princess with an attitude. What a nice combination! I sincerely hope this post was a gag because if this is the "real" you, it's truly pathetic.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-08-03 13:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by KatieKate (user info) at 2004-08-03 12:35:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey AlahAckbar...Its guys like you who I leave
with a face full o' cum, after I spit in your face.
-------------------------------------
That's all you've got? Lack of common sense and wit. After all that garbage that you spit out, surely you have a better come back then that. Where's this pic you promised? Still looking online?
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-03 12:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Does being attractive, blah blah blah, include having a fucked up wheel?
http://www.loignon.com/success/success_story.php?successid=14
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-08-03 12:51:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The author of this happy horseshit reminds me of a toilet.
Submitted by KatieKate (user info) at 2004-08-03 12:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey AlahAckbar...Its guys like you who I leave
with a face full o' cum, after I spit in your face.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-03 12:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Some advice from Uncle Bob:
You will find the "real men" who aren't looking to impress anyone in the little hole in the wall corner bars...because the alcohol is cheap and the conversation is friendly and easy. The only reason any heterosexual adult male would go to a club is to put on an act to try to impress some bimbo.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-08-03 12:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear mother fucking slutty newbie,
Ha ha, I used to fuck dumb bitches like you and leave em at the hotel.
On numerous occasions I would have a bitch like you pay, fuck the shit out of you, wake up the next morning, fuck the shit out of you again, then tell you to take a shower cause I was gonna take you someplace nice.
Then I would eat the free "continental brekfast", steal the free morning paper, go through your purse, find your lipstick, and write on the mirror:
"Sorry, I just don't date whores. But hey, you were a (decent, great, awesome) lay, so here's some money for you."
and I would put some of your own money down on the counter.
Numerous times I would get screamed at by the girls when I saw them the next week at the club. and guess what? They were still alone, so they would leave with somebody. Then the next week, they would be alone again.
Nothing but a ho. I've pounded more bitches like you then Rick James, Bitch.
Write better shit or die.
Love,
Alahackbar
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:56:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Die, whore.
Submitted by WRECKER (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My eyes want to commit suicide now. Thanks for the migrane bitch. You have just won my slore award for the day. It is pretty early to be handing it out, but hey, you can take that to the bar next time you go. BUNG
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A) You're probably a pig.
B) A
C) If I feel like it, I'll fuck you silly next time I see you
D) C
Submitted by TheTaoOfNoe (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:39:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This could have been so much better.
You fucked up with this B.S. "We're all
attractive, exude confidence, know how to have a good time and generally
just don't give a fuck, which apparently draws men in. Damned if I can
figure it out. All I know is that the 40 year guy sitting alone at the bar
with a pony tale, tapered jeans, and the Hawaiian shirt don't stand a
chance, but will undoubtedly find his way over to one of us."
Don't stand a chance? OMG, at least you didn't claim to be intelligent!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I gotta tell you, Shitfck is right. He's fucking hot and hysterical and fun to talk to. You would give up your left arm to go out with him, I promise you that. Thank god that guys like him can see through girls like you.
The fact is, honey, you wrote an entire post about how false confidence is annoying. How guys who aren't that hot shouldn't talk to you because you are too good looking for them. And maybe you are really hot, I'll assume you are telling the truth about that. But you know what? That might get you laid by a disease-ridden manslut, and little else.
If you don't have the personality to back up the looks, no one is going to want you for more than a drunken suck and fuck.
I'd suggest taking those mediocre-looking fellows a little more seriously, because I have a newsflash for you : You are not a great catch.
Bitches like you are a dime a dozen. What the great guys are looking for (and by great guy I mean hot and funny and sensitive and caring, the kind of guy ho would make their girl really and truly happy) are girls with looks, sure, but girls with more than just looks. Girls who are kind and funny. Girls who are polite and sweet. Girls with something interesting to say.
From the looks of this post, you just don't cut it.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Heh. Skanky.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Silly Girl at 2004-08-03 11:27:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Katie...you rock. I have the same problem! Fuck all these low life men who
have nothing else in live then this damn site. Fuck em' all. Get free shots
first.
-------------------------------
Gee, I wonder if this could be Katie??
Submitted by riggyrow (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by KatieKate (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:12:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sticks and stones....call us what you will. Obviously you are the nasty
men who would have no chance whatsoever. I'll be posting a picture for
your enjoyment of my friends and I. You'll eat your words. Munch munch...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
It doesn't matter how physically attractive you are,
you're still an ugly person.
Submitted by Silly Girl at 2004-08-03 11:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Katie...you rock. I have the same problem! Fuck all these low life men who
have nothing else in live then this damn site. Fuck em' all. Get free shots
first.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I see girls like you all the time at clubs--ditzy, blonde, trash talking, self centered...etc.
I want to tell you I hate, but I don't--I mean, girls like you are the easiest thing on earth to take home, pound a few times and dump. So I respect you for your ability to consume massive amounts of semen and still feel like you have an ounce of self-respect.
Now, I imagine your reply will be something like 'you're ugly, you could never fuck me, blah blah blah...' so before you get to your Paris Hilton Book of Comebacks, let me inform you that you're wrong. I'm the kind of man you'd die to be with, but could never keep--I don't know what you look like, but I'm sure it's dissappointing--and when the looks that you do have fade away, you'll be left with an empty head, broken heart and a meaningless existence.
My suggestion:
Take up prostitution. At least that way you get paid for being a whore, perhaps you could invest in some T-bills and buy yourself an Asian love slave when you retire.
Good luck to you.
SHITFUCK
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bleh. You exude confidence but are seemingly desparete to track down 'hot guys' by going from clubs to sports bars and then have the nerve to talk shit because what are you are going there for, you are getting. Me and my girlfriends are pretty and have confidence as well, but we are not fucking little princesses that would laugh at the 'nerve' of some guy thinking that he can buy me a shot and then OMG, talk to me too?!?!? The nerve. You should stick to the club with the guys with the tight black t-shirts, they seem to be as shallow as you. Later Princess...
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So these guys are good enough to buy you drinks and shit like that but not good enough for you to show some manners?
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I leave the bar wondering if I see myself in a far better light than the rest of the world"
Yep, you sure do. Everyone else thinks you're a stuck up bitch.
The fact that you continue to go home alone without any prospects should tell you something.
Anybody good enough to be in your "league" is probably smart enough to see the signs and fucking run.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shit, here's your -2.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:15:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this just in:
the new hot fad is to gouge out your eyeballs with a rusty butter knife!
GO FOR IT!
Espo
Submitted by geofroley (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
God hates you.
Submitted by KatieKate (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sticks and stones....call us what you will. Obviously you are the nasty
men who would have no chance whatsoever. I'll be posting a picture for
your enjoyment of my friends and I. You'll eat your words. Munch munch...
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Stay home and teach your dog to ass ram you.
Submitted by Philst82 (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 again because this wound me up so much. And I hate to admit to that.
Women like you are the scourge of this planet.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-03 11:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:05:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Call me pathetic...
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Congratualtions on being physically attractive.
It's unfortunate that you're so ugly on the inside.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 again because I just finished reading the post (that's right, just the FIRST HALF of your post was worth a -2!) and saw the part about 'know who's in your league.'
I bet you and your friends are fat.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Call me...
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If someone sends you a drink they deserve a smile, a thank you, and at least a little conversation if they initiate it. You should be flattered.
Seems very conceited.
Submitted by CumFaceBallSnatch (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Can I dispose of my hot shit on your busted face?
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:01:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gosh. You're a ditz.
Submitted by Random Joseph at 2004-08-03 11:00:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So in other words: You're a run-of-the-mill dime-store bitch who does, indeed, see herself in a better light than the rest of the world does.
Submitted by Philst82 (user info) at 2004-08-03 11:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Errr... you're a bit full of yourself aren't you?
I could go into a massive rant about what's wrong with this post, but I don't think you're worth it.