Stonedsilly/Harmlessness/Tim, the government has discovered that your mother is a raging retard (1711 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: 0.2 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Agent Smith (View user info) at 2004-08-04 09:59:55 EDT
The following was intercepted during my usual instant messenger taps. I could not believe what I was seeing. I did not think that anyone could be this stupid.
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bclifone (9:07:20 AM): I have now received numerous complaints about you, and have no choice but to ban you from my site. Thank you for your patronage
Beancat61 (9:08:16 AM): i have posted one message on the website - which included no profanity or insults to anyone... i have reviewed two or three posts, again, with no profanity or insults... may i ask what complaints you have had?
bclifone (9:08:36 AM): that is privileged information. In the interest of privacy, I can not release that information.
Beancat61 (9:09:07 AM): i am not asking who complained... i have a right to know what i am accused of doing
bclifone (9:10:11 AM): I do not appreciate your threatening demeanor, and will have to ask you to please discontinue in this immature manner. Consider this matter closed.
bclifone (9:10:45 AM): if you come back to the site via a proxy or otherwise, I will have no choice but to ban your son also
Beancat61 (9:10:58 AM): i'm sorry... i just don't understand
bclifone (9:11:29 AM): i wouldn't expect you to. From what your son says, you're not the sharpest tool in the shed
Beancat61 (9:11:30 AM): i don't know of anything i have done...
bclifone (9:12:13 AM): Its a wonder you know how to use a keyboard. I'm sorry, but I cannot fraternize with individuals of your sub-par intelligence.
Beancat61 (9:12:24 AM): i am not snuggles
bclifone (9:13:11 AM): please, there's no point in denying it, the logs don't lie. I have your IP address logged.
Beancat61 (9:13:12 AM): i have no idea what is going on
Beancat61 (9:13:26 AM): then someone has accessed my email account
Beancat61 (9:13:30 AM): i am not snuggles!
bclifone (9:13:53 AM): this has nothing to do with your email, ma'am. This is your PC's IP address, which cannot be cloned or otherwise duplicated.
Beancat61 (9:14:09 AM): i am very confused
bclifone (9:14:18 AM): why am I not surprised
Beancat61 (9:14:22 AM): bart, i promise you, i have done nothing wrong
bclifone (9:15:48 AM): that's all well and good. Good day to you.
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At this point, I noticed an interesting side conversation going on between our mental midget mom and another distinguished Uber user. I switched over to that channel.
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shitfuck: Bart from Ubersite has put a notice out that you are to be banned...what is going on? You seem so nice.
Beancat61: i know... he just emailed me
Beancat61: IM'd me, i mean
shitfuck: What have you done?
shitfuck: Oh my, YOU'RE Snuggles_the_Rapist?
shitfuck: that's disgusting.
Beancat61: no i am not!!!
shitfuck: That's what Bart said
Beancat61: bart is mistaken
shitfuck: and he has access to the IP files
shitfuck: I'm confused here
Beancat61: me, too
shitfuck: oh my
shitfuck: Bart is sending copies of your IP address to the FBI
Beancat61: i think maybe i had better see what snuggles did...
shitfuck: I've never seen him this pissed off
Beancat61: what did snuggles post? i can't find anything!
shitfuck: The rape posts
Beancat61: where?
shitfuck: I think most of them have been taken down
shitfuck: Bart is saying he wants you to post an apology
Beancat61: how can someone have used my computer?
shitfuck: I know him quite well, so maybe I can smooth things over here.
Beancat61: it would be either here at work (and we are all professionals here) or at home - my daughter can't get online without me logging her on.... and my husband -- i really don't think so!
Beancat61: yes, please help!
shitfuck: Bart thinks you wrote a post about raping 6 year olds
Beancat61: truthfully, jacob -- i am not snuggles the rapist!
shitfuck: either you or your son
Beancat61: no way -- that's not even funny!
Beancat61: my son does not live with me
shitfuck: well, all he wants is an apology post
shitfuck: that's the usual for these things
Beancat61: i can do that if he wants...
shitfuck: i think it would be best
Beancat61: dare i protest my innocence?
shitfuck: just apologize and state your case
shitfuck: I'll talk to him as well
Beancat61: okay - thank you!
Beancat61: thank you, jacob!
shitfuck (7:20:57 AM): OK, he says to post an apology, state your case about your son and stuff and he'll remove the permenant ban
Beancat61 (7:21:44 AM): thank you!
shitfuck (7:26:24 AM): Bart is going to lift the ban for fifteen minutes so you can post the apology
Beancat61 (7:26:34 AM): i am typing it now
Beancat61 (7:30:10 AM): read it for me?
shitfuck (7:30:48 AM): great
shitfuck (7:30:53 AM): that should calm him down
shitfuck (7:31:23 AM): plus I'm on your side, and Bart and I have a really close friendship--we used to date the same woman.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/40465
Beancat61 (7:31:23 AM): did you read it already?
shitfuck (7:31:49 AM): yes
Beancat61 (7:32:13 AM): thank you one more time, jacob! it sure is nice to know who your friends are!
Beancat61 (7:32:48 AM): i mean, could it be somebody else here at work? we're on a network....
shitfuck (7:33:52 AM): Probably, if I were you I'd check my credit card statements just in case some has placed spyware on your computer
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Switch back to channel 1
bclifone (9:40:29 AM): thanks for being such a stupid, braindead bitch. Your son was right, you do smoke way too much fucking pot.
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Beancat61 (7:32:13 AM): thank you one more time, jacob! it sure is nice to know who your friends are!
Beancat61 (7:37:17 AM): bclifone (9:40:18 AM): thanks for being such a stupid, braindead bitch. Your son was right, you do smoke way too much fucking pot.
bclifone signed off at 9:40:24 AM.
Beancat61 (7:37:23 AM): what the hell?
shitfuck (7:37:27 AM): what the hell is that about?
Beancat61 (7:37:42 AM): bart just got online, sent me that, and signed off....
Beancat61 (7:38:03 AM): i just don't get it!
shitfuck (7:38:48 AM): He's a little grumpy today
Beancat61 (7:39:00 AM): so i gather!
shitfuck (7:39:02 AM): He's claiming that I'm shitfuck too
Beancat61 (7:39:41 AM): okay... you know, i think i am done with that site... too many weird people, and too much weird stuff
shitfuck (7:39:49 AM): no don't do that
shitfuck (7:39:57 AM): if you do that then the bad people win
shitfuck (7:40:28 AM): read your Bible, it's best to hang in there, Deuteronomy 4:20
shitfuck (7:44:34 AM): I was just thinking about how much I'd like to have sex with you
shitfuck (7:44:38 AM): Is that wrong?
Beancat61 (7:45:23 AM): since i'm at work, and a married woman, yes
Beancat61 (7:45:28 AM): please don't go there again
shitfuck (7:45:51 AM): Ok, it's just that my cock is getting really hard thinking about your cheesy vagina
Beancat61 signed off at 7:46:01 AM.
There you have it folks. Another golden oldie going into Agent Smith's files.
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-01 10:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:36:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhaaahahahhaahhhahahahahahahahhahahaaa
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-03-07 00:26:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Mr_Anderson (user info) at 2004-10-25 16:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IT ENDS TONIGHT
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-08-04 21:51:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bahahahahah
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-08-04 21:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're a lot like floor covering. A lot of big, hairy, sweaty men lay you.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-04 16:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hilarious, and I know because I was there...
Submitted by dirtygook (user info) at 2004-08-04 14:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
JOJO MAMAH!
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:52:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah? *shakes fist*
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:13:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:10:01 (#)
Ranking: -1
low brow
^^^^
Oh yeah? C'mere a minute.
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no, YOU come here a minute.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That silly bart. He's always banning people.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Man, Tim's mom is cool.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmm.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:20:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
These AIM logfile posts suck shit.
Two observations that I made while only reading the first 1/4 of this:
1)Technical observation: This conversation would only make sense if the user had a static IP. If they're on a dynamic IP system, it is pointless to ban the IP address. Well, unless you can ban only the first three fields (i.e. 128.56.143.*)
2)Social observation: Bart is too laid back to get involved in stupid stuff like this.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:17:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have a fantasy. It involves you, a deserted beach, a hole, and a muffled pistol shot.
Fucking with someone's mother? ARe you sick?
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:10:01 (#)
Ranking: -1
low brow
^^^^
Oh yeah? C'mere a minute.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Way to jump on the bandwagon. Excellent!
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:10:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
low brow
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
some of these have been amusing in the past.
This one is just in poor taste. Took the joke too far.
Submitted by UniBrowZIT (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:06:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. Why sound and music though?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-08-04 10:05:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHA