To Hump or Not to Hump (943 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.22 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by j t <jcricket1120.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-08-04 15:33:45 EDT
(prior knowledge of Hamlet may be necessary for full appreciation of this post.)
To hump, or not to hump: that is my question,
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous celibacy,
Or to take arms amongst a sea of chics,
And by seducing hump them? To hump: to sleep;
Some more; and by a hump to say we start
The dick-ache and the thousand natural joys that flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To hump, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the good stuff;
For in that sleep of bliss what dreams may come
After I have shuffled off my prophylactic coil,
Must give us props: there's the respect
That makes blessing of so long life;
For who wouldn't bear the whips and chains of dominatrixes,
The randomly misplaced thong, the proud man's cheating girlfriend,
They joys of pseudo love, the fun of random lays,
The possibility of orgy and the challenge
That patient merit that the worthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare penis? Who would brothels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary wife,
But that the dread of something after marriage,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those chics we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus commitment does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their good intentions turn awry,
And lose the name of action.--Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nympho, in thy stilletos
Be all my sins remember'd
User Reviews
Submitted by savethepunks (user info) at 2004-08-04 15:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sorry for the double negative, i'll balance that out
Submitted by savethepunks (user info) at 2004-08-04 15:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
had me until you used the word chicks, i tried again and then i saw props. total bastardization of the bard
Submitted by savethepunks (user info) at 2004-08-04 15:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
had me until you used the word chics, i tried again and then i saw props. total bastardization of the bard
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-08-04 15:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All hail the Bard of Uber!
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-04 15:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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