Be Quiet - Be Still (908 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Parlor Trick (View user info) at 2004-08-05 05:54:48 EDT
She (we'll call her 'I') was visiting my sister in California. I was nineteen.
My hometown high school boyfriend and I had drifted apart in the aftermath of graduation. We had lost our virginity in the same moment in the cab of his truck in a field behind my parents' house. I looked forward to escaping the stale memories and getting a new perspective. A week in California seemed the perfect elixir.
[I wanted to fly]
My sister dropped me off at Venice Beach to shop and swim while she went to work.
"I'll pick you up as soon as I can after work - around 7:00. Are you sure you're going to be alright?"
"Yes! Get out of here! I'll see you later"
The sun reflected off the colorful opportunity of the day. I roamed the boardwalk, filling the morning with crowded beach stores, lemon ice, and oversized pieces of pizza. I would catch my reflection checking my look against a hundred beautiful strangers.
[I wanted to be noticed.]
Early afternoon, I sat on my towel in the sand and lazily watched the suntanned circus around me.
"Hey - do you want to play?"
I didn't see him coming. He was older, 24, tall strong, confident, handsome in a way that makes a girl nervous. I clumsily hurled the Frisbee in his direction, exaggerated my laughs, held my stomach, and played with the clip in my hair obsessively.
[I wanted to be liked.]
"Let's go swimming", he said, the sweat shining like his smile. "I have to get my towel out of my room. Come with me." He laughed grabbing my hand and pulling me playfully along. "We can swim where it's no so crowded," he promised.
His room was one of many weathered doors, on one of many vines of hotels growing along the beach. I hesitated only a moment and he saw it. "You can wait outside if you want..." he said "if you don't trust me" making growling noises and raising his arms above his head fingers out like claws, a mock monster. I walked through the open door. He turned the lock behind me.
[I wanted to trust]
Within seconds his arms were tight around me. His mouth over mine, pushing me towards the bed in the center of the room. "Hey....wait" I protested with an awkward laugh. My awareness was focusing, my regret mounting, my fear building. His hands gripped my breasts pushing aside my suit. "Oh baby, yes...nice, yes".
[I wanted another chance]
"Wait!" This wasn't happening, not to me. I tried to sit up "Listen, I like you, but....(one arm across my chest the other tugging at the button on my shorts) I'm not ...I can't...I'm really not ready...God, I'm sorry if I......" I stumbled over my words, embarrassed and frightened. Turning my head from his open mouth. Still, to my parents credit, trying to be polite.
"Not a problem." He declared my weak opposition not a problem. He leaned over me, pressing into me and placed one finger over my lips and said in a low voice, warm breath against my ear "Be quiet. Be still". For reasons not clear to me now, I deferred to his assumption of control. I was quiet, stoned faced, a humbled observer at my own assault. Tried and convicted, my judgment suffered its consequence.
[I wanted to live]
I slid into the passenger's seat of my sister's car. She gestured at her watch. "I'm sorry I'm late, work was crazy! I couldn't get anything done. How was your day? What did you do?" She backed out of the parking lot and merged into heavy traffic. "What did you do?" she asked again.
" Nothing...I didn't do anything."
[I wanted to forget]
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This post was prompted by Lojope's Post - http://www.ubersite.com/m/40524 and the subsequent post by SundanceKid http://www.ubersite.com/m/40549. I thought it a relevant example of the blurred (or not so) lines of consent.
Please treat it as fiction.
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User Reviews
Submitted by Pooz (user info) at 2004-08-24 04:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
PISS
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-08-05 12:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No, I went back and actually read this. I think you are all fucked. If writing rape fantasy fiction is the kind of thing that you enjoy, then you are fucked in the head worse than you think I am.
Fuck you.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-05 11:28:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. Truly awesome. Thank you for writing this, and thank you for linking me here. I am treating this as fiction because you asked me to. But if you want to email me and talk about anything, please feel free to do so.
Submitted by dategrape (user info) at 2004-08-05 09:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is gay. And you know what? I am going to +2 it. Because that is the 'nice' thing to do. How does it feel knowing the only reason you get a perfect score is because anyone who doesn't continue the streak is branded an asshole?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-05 09:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeez.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-08-05 08:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by winowarrior (user info) at 2004-08-05 08:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's terrible that men can be such outrageous bastards. I admire you for your courage and hope that this does not haunt you in too terrible a way. He will get what is coming to him, what goes around comes around.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-08-05 08:33:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well written.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-08-05 08:04:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-08-05 06:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great writing
Espo
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-08-05 06:46:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Being the unobservantory type, I didn't even see the end bit or picture.
It seems obvious to me. If at any point there is a withdrawal of consent, who'd want to continue?
So many pretty girls on uber.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-08-05 06:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice to see someone else trying to make a good post on a thursday.
Is that finally a full on picture of you?
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-08-05 06:21:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2