big #1. start off with a bang. (469 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.33 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sketch9 (View user info) at 2004-08-06 17:39:12 EDT
I figured I should start off this strange and delightful drug frenzy with a hate and spite filled rant. While it may suck, i dont care. You can kiss my ass. However, if you are one of said offenders, you have an appointment for a shotgun facelift. I beleive you should attend to it. Now.
1) The "e" in "masterbate". Nothing to me proves that you're more of an insignificant fool than if you cant spell the word "masturbate". Come on, its not that hard of a word, im assuming you fucking dolts use it all the time. Its your favorite god damn pasttime, how the hell do you not know how to spell it? I know how to spell "smoke weed" and "drop acid", dont I? Thats like Payton Manning misspelling "football."
Here's my question though: havent you ever seen anyone else ever spell it? Has it ever clicked that they dont spell it the way you do? Could it be that these hundreds of people all didnt make the same mistake? Maybe its a conspiracy.
NO. No its not. You're just a dumbass. There is only one E in masturbate.
2) "Labtop" computer. What the fuck is this? A "labtop" computer? When did this change take place? When did a Dell notebook become the premier computer for lab technicians? Why the hell would you even say it? Do you think about the words that come out of your mouth? Do you just fucking put your brain on autopilot, sit back, and scratch yourself? Why the hell would a portable computer be called a "labtop"? Would they use it in labs? Hell no! Im not saying it hasnt been done, but you dont need a portable computer for a lab. Presumably a desktop would suit you just fine. They wouldnt need to pick it up and go play fucking catch with it. Its not a scientist's computer for fucks sakes. There's no good reason to call it a "labtop" in the first place. Maybe you're just a dumbass, and its really called a "laptop".
(collective gasp)
Yeah, thats right, i said it. Laptop. Because it fucking sits in your lap. There's logic to that name. It doesnt take fucking Sigmund Freud or Isaac Newton to figure this one out. Computer that sits on your lap = laptop.
Im suprised you fuckers know your ass from a hole in the ground.
3) Earwigs. Yeah. Earwigs. You know those creepy ass little bugs that seem to be everywhere in your fucking house for no good reason? The ones with the creepy ass little pinchers on their ass? What the fuck are the purpose of those pinchers anyway? You'd figure in a cephalized creature that the head would be the most useful area to protect. But for fucks sakes, on the ass? How the hell do they get in my bathroom at three in the morning? Do they live in colonies?
They must, because i turned over a wood block and there were fucking millions of em. Christ, some of the disgusting little buggers (ha! punny!) were white. They had never seen the light of day. And they wanted to keep it that way. They all scattered. It was one of the creepiest things Ive ever seen.
Earwigs piss me off to no end. They just make me want to beat old people with their respective walkers. They make me wanna rape nuns and shit in urinals. They make me so angry that i dont even have good ways to describe how angry i get.
god, disgusting
<img src="http://www.laters.com/pics/earwig.gif">
![http://www.laters.com/pics/earwig.gif">](http://www.laters.com/pics/earwig.gif">){kind=link}
User Reviews
Submitted by sketch9 <jebus_sneila.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-08-06 22:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"labtop" i guess is just a common phenomenon where i live. people are retards. they commonly refer to laptops as labtops... and it pisses me off to no end.
anyway, if nobody you know has ever done it, sorry for the confusion
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-06 21:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The whole "labtop" thing boggles my fucking mind as well.
Submitted by RideJohnnyRide (user info) at 2004-08-06 18:37:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad for a first post.
Submitted by Just_me_and_the_cats (user info) at 2004-08-06 18:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tomato-soup (user info) at 2004-08-06 17:56:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
peyton, dumbass
=============================
You give an amusing little rant a -2 bause of one typo? I've looked at your posts, ts, and they aren't all that shit hot. In fact, they are simply shit. At least sketch9 has made a good start.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-06 18:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
omgzzz
i wanna sex0rz you
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-08-06 18:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah yeah, i cant spell peyton. sue me.
Submitted by tomato-soup (user info) at 2004-08-06 17:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
peyton, dumbass
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-08-06 17:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking hate earwigs!
Submitted by abefroman42 (user info) at 2004-08-06 17:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
45 minutes left at work
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-06 17:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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