Sponsor a Lesbian. Make a Difference. (2202 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: uber-related
Rating: 1.85 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe <fickle_muse.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-08-09 09:49:48 EDT
(My first post about another person on Uber. I'm just so excited I can barely breathe. What sarcasm?)
A while ago, beloved little Ainkara posted this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/31593
It was a brave attempt. A noble cause. A selfless, courageous cry from the heart of a special human being.
It was also an utter, spectacular failure. The total earnings of the foundation to date:
Three used condoms.
Needless to say, not one of these fine young people got laid. Not with each other, anyhow. And if it isn't Ubersex, it doesn't count. We all know that.
After this, the poor dear girl seemed to slip into a rut of useless men and depressing, bleak posts. Quite frankly, it's heartrending. And a little boring. And this is the core of my 'plan'. ('Selfish scheme to have sex with a hottie' is such a harsh phrase, don't you think? 'Plan' is way better.)
The "Teach the Lovely Little Thing To Find Happiness Between The Thighs Of A Woman" Foundation (TLLTFHBTOW - can you say 'catchy'? Doesn't it roll straight off the tongue?) is the latest in a series of charitable foundations I've single handedly started. The list is long and distinguished, and here are some of the highlights:
The "Help Circe Drink Herself Into Oblivion" fund; the "Find A home For Circe's Children Before She Runs Them Over With The Vacuum Cleaner Again" trust; and the most well known of my charities, the "See How Much Sex With Strangers One Redhead Can Have Over A Weekend In Tijuana" council.
I need your help. I can't do this alone, and if something isn't done soon, we're going to have to listen to her as she grows ever more bleak and morbid.
It's going to cost a lot of money. Here, I've broken down the main objectives to help you see how YOU (yes you - no, not you with your hand down your pants, get your finger out of your nose - you. The one with the credit card) can contribute.
Travel to her house: Okay, so she lives fairly nearby. But fuel is expensive. And I might get a speeding ticket. Plus there's the wear and tear on the car... *Total Cost $560*
Preparation: This is the big one. I'm going to need to get her very drunk, and I'm going to have to take her to see male strippers to get her in the right frame of mind for my face between her legs. And this is Ainkara. We only want the best for her. So the booze will the best in rocket fuel that money can buy, and the strippers will be real policemen. *Total Cost $2500*
Assorted sexual paraphernalia: You know what I mean. Handcuffs, lubricant, a double headed dildo or three, a french maid's outfit and a good camera to take pics for all those who contribute. *Total Cost $2200 (more if we decide to get an entire French maid, rather than just the outfit)*
Bribe money: To stop her whining about 'My thighs hurt and there's something in my hair and what the fuck are these? Bite marks? What are you, rabid?' afterwards. *Total Cost depends on certain variable factors, like how badly she aches, but shouldn't be more than $1000 (she's poor and desperate.)*
So there you have it. A plea, a call for help, from me to you. On behalf of her, of course. God, I'm selfless. I should be up for sainthood.
User Reviews
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-11 18:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The one on the left of the pool looks like she has a cancerous lifeform living in her ass.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2004-12-06 02:14:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nevermind Caul, you are probably just French-Canadian.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2004-12-06 02:13:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-08-09 09:53:50 (#)
Ranking: -1
I guess you expect a +2 from every male user because of this lesbian post.
Try again
_________________________
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51589#997769
__________________________
Caul is ghey, right?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-12-05 22:59:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-16 01:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you've got my tencents worth.
Submitted by Naery (user info) at 2004-08-14 02:45:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anything to do with lesbians and Circe gets a +2 in my book.
Also, is it just me, or are the asses of the girls in the pool kind of sticky-outy? It looks like they jut out from the small of the girls' backs.
Could just be the fact that it's friday the 13th... maybe.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-08-11 00:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-08-10 10:22:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Coyote, you are such a bitch sometimes.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2004-08-10 08:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-08-09 22:42:35 (#)
Coyote - So.. are you trying to tell me something?
---------------------------------------------------
Nothing you haven't already taken credit for...
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-08-09 22:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-09 13:05:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd fuck you.
_________
You'd also make sweet, sweet love to a hole in the wall.
That's not a bad thing.
**
Coyote - So.. are you trying to tell me something?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-08-09 21:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO LESBIANS WOO!!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-08-09 17:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for lesbians.
What?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-08-09 17:51:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"a french maid's outfit and a good camera to take pics for all those who contribute."
This was the main point of sale in my book! Or, you could let me fly myself down and hide in the closet...I promise I won't make a peep!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-08-09 15:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
any women who contributes to this is a saint and should be recognized. you should post pictures and video of them "helping you out".
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-08-09 15:22:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mahahah! nice!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-09 15:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it just me, or does Circe look even hotter than normal in that pic?
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-08-09 15:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That dude is made of plastic.
Freaky.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-09 14:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Check your mail, please.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-09 13:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm serious, you're my first pick for a lesbian partner.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-09 13:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd fuck you.
Submitted by dirtygook (user info) at 2004-08-09 11:52:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ATTN LEZ CHIX!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41088
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41088
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41088
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41088
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41088
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41088
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41088
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41088
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41088
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41088
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41088
HI BANG KOK WAH!
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-09 11:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll let you sponsor my lesbian anytime.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-08-09 11:07:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am a boy
thus +2
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-08-09 11:03:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2004-08-09 10:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You need a better acronym though... may I suggest:
Sponsoring Lesbian Uberers Together?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-09 10:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Too bad this doesn't count twice.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-08-09 10:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Posts like this one are the reason Circe is my hero.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-08-09 10:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-08-09 09:53:50 (#)
Ranking: -1
I guess you expect a +2 from every male user because of this lesbian post.
Try again
________________________________________________________________________________
Actually, yes, please try again. And KEEP TRYING! As long as it takes. This is too important to let yourself get discouraged!
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-08-09 10:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul - Nope. I'm just easily amused.
DeathJester - Well, thank you.
Dervel - HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-09 10:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2004-08-09 10:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd make a donation, though I'm not sure where you would spend it. In fact I'm not sure it would be legal tender.
Then again I have heard it called a money shot so you might be ok?
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-08-09 10:08:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
go lesbians!
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-08-09 10:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sign me up. I'm a big fan of lesbian activity. I'd much rather support this cause than give money to that fat Jerry Lewis anyday...
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-08-09 10:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The chick in the left hand top photo looks like Josephine from the 'La Femme Nikita' series in the UK.
Yes, that's a complement.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-08-09 09:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"See How Much Sex With Strangers One Redhead Can Have Over A Weekend In Tijuana" council.
=====================
Let me know next time you are coming through Tijuana / San Diego, damn it.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-08-09 09:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm... touched? Well... maybe I shouldn't say touched..... But.... Umm.... Uhh.....
*runs away*
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-09 09:56:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sign me up!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-08-09 09:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I guess you expect a +2 from every male user because of this lesbian post.
Try again
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2004-08-09 09:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You promise to setup the webcam, and I'll kick in some of my hard-earned cash.
*Watching two hot Aussie wenches violate each other in every way known to science*-- Priceless