I Need Ubercon Detox (1632 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.63 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Val (View user info) at 2004-08-10 14:39:34 EDT
So many Ubercon posts have been made with quotes and stories... I won't post a duplicate. But I do have to tell you that you are all the most vibrant, amazingly incredible people I have ever met.
I came to Ubercon with no expectations. "We'll all sit around in awkward silence," said I. "I'll just sit in the hotel room the whole time," I thought.
WHAT?!?
From walking into the backyard and being greeted by Tiff, to the sad goodbyes Monday morning, every single second (that I can remember) was amazing.
Do you know how many brain cells I lost? At least 5.
I will make this short and sweet because quite honestly I am not yet able to put my experience into words...
I consider you all my family now. If you ever need anything, from money to oral, I am here for you.
When you puke, I will give up the promise of sex with Lee in the other room and will rub your back all sexy like until you feel better. Thanks Matt.
When you almost fall into the fire pit I will tell you you ARE on fire. Because it's funny. Haha!
When you're 7 feet tall I will tell you how huge you are and make you feel like a real man. I will not, however, make out with you.
When it's 20 below zero outside, and Creepy Guy with The Dog is inside watching porn all by himself, I will stand outside and bear it. So help me god.
When I can't see straight or walk correctly and you say you want to do a shot to me, BY GOLLY I WILL. No matter HOW SICK I will feel the next day.
When you want me to lick Tiffany, I will. No questions asked.
I will provide lube and condoms for a house of 40 people. Oh wait. That was Dan.
When you just got pile-drived by a man 3 times your size and are knocked out unconscious, I will NOT call 911, but I will gladly cover you with a blanket and pretend the whole thing never happened.
I will show you my ass, but only if you show me yours first.
I will give you a pity spooning after you throw up.
I will take incriminating pictures and never show them to anyone. And by never show them to anyone, I mean post them on Uber as soon as I figure out how to use MS Paint.
I WILL take pictures of your penis, and YOU WILL LIKE IT.
I will tongue you.
When you have a foursome in a bathroom, I will high five you. And then wash my hands.
When you need money or rides, I will direct you to Method, because I got nothin.
And last but certainly not least, I will fly around the fucking world to help you if you need me to. And then I'll charge you for the airfare. Oh, and the hotel room. And the hookers.
In all seriousness though... I will totally tongue you.
Anyway, I broke my promise of this being short and sweet, so I bid you adieu.
I love you all like fucking crazy, and I hope to see you soon.
Christmas Con, anyone?
User Reviews
Submitted by heater (user info) at 2004-08-19 18:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Burnt out? Better not be, 'cause I'm not out of Heat yet!
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-08-19 13:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-08-19 13:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wish to own you, Valerie.
Submitted by Living vicariously through Ube <showmeporn.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-08-11 00:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Enough teasing with the sexual innuendo. Who fucked who? And post the damn pictures.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-08-11 00:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow.
Wow.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-08-11 00:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit! Did she just admit that on the internet?!?!
It's good to be me.
Submitted by HLB (user info) at 2004-08-11 00:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Val, you know I love you...great post! And, I thought that Dan and I were being pretty clear as to why we pulled you in our room. So much fun! You have my number, and hey, you did say you're moving here, right?
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-10 23:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What was I thinking?
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-08-10 22:50:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God damn. Ok, I'm officially jealous. I didn't do shit this weekend.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-08-10 22:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
prgasm
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2004-08-10 21:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to see al the pictures, except the pics of peoples dong's. GIrls asses/jugs would be nice though.
-BongZilla
Ubercon Vegas 2k5!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-10 20:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You can call/email/contact me for anything. That goes for all of you, and I am serious. Anything. If I can do it, it will get done.
Love you all.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-08-10 20:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
default +2 for uberkon
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2004-08-10 20:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-08-10 17:01:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Val- I totally have Dave's wanker in my digital camera
---------------------------------
fucking hell!!! EMAIL IT!! I gotta photoshop it with gangrene and herpes!!!!
Submitted by whiskeyjack (user info) at 2004-08-10 18:54:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this ubercon sounds like some good times
there needs to be a list on who hooked up
I hope there was lost of it and anal
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-08-10 18:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...is THAT why you guys pulled me into the bedroom?
I love how I find out about this now.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-08-10 18:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
From Left to Right:
AJ wearing a leigh, Dave taking it like a sweet bitch, a tiki torch being all burny and stuff, Lee gettin' buck wild, and an 8 foot highway plow that will soon be for sale on ebay.
And you so had plenty of opportunities to get laid. Hell, Tiffy was trying to get me to go get you on Sunday night! Man, I love drunk Tiffy so much.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-08-10 18:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, these Ubercons sound incredible. That's it, come Ubercon 2005 or 2006, I'm fucking going.
Anyone wanna put me up for a couple of days? Or like...a week?
Come on guys you know I can be fun.....
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2004-08-10 17:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-08-10 17:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A WANKER IS A MAN WHO JERKS OFF
A WANKER IS A MAN WHO JERKS OFF
A WANKER IS A MAN WHO JERKS OFF
A WANKER IS A MAN WHO JERKS OFF
A WANKER IS A MAN WHO JERKS OFF
A WANKER IS A MAN WHO JERKS OFF
A WANKER IS A MAN WHO JERKS OFF
A WANKER IS A MAN WHO JERKS OFF
"Wanker" is not another name for penis.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-08-10 17:26:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-08-10 17:02:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm glad y'all had fun and everything...but I seriously think you should invest in that DEVO album from around 1979 with the songs "Dork Patrol/Mr. DNA" and play it ad infinitum.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-08-10 17:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Val- I totally have Dave's wanker in my digital camera
and my wallpaper.
Submitted by PornoGuyOntheCouch (user info) at 2004-08-10 16:51:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You guys are seriously fucked up
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2004-08-10 16:39:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey! *I* was the one who took the cock pic
thank you Matt!
Submitted by Jamie (user info) at 2004-08-10 16:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought you guys were going to Boston.
What the fucker.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-10 16:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Submitted by ToxicNarcotic (user info) at 2004-08-10 16:05:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love you val and everyone at the con
hott pic of me by the way
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-08-10 16:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All of these Ubercon posts are making me jealous. I wish that I had went.
Will, if there is a Ubercon NY on your B-day, I will definitely come, if only to get your autograph and get drunk with you.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-08-10 15:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Val...
I'd do ya...
in the pooper. but like romantic and stuff.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-08-10 15:24:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No more fighting.
For the love of God, no more fighting.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-08-10 15:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm still jealous.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-08-10 15:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Method - Damn right you fought a bear. I want a rematch, and a few more chipped teeth.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-08-10 15:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Willzone- I think that it's more of "who DIDN'T hook up?"
And the answer is me.
damn you all.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-08-10 15:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think i fought a bear
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-08-10 14:54:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well, my b-day is Sept 18th, a saturday and i'll be having a big b-day bash in a downtown bar...;ets make UberCon NYC for my b-day night.
Sept 18th 2004: UberCon NYC. stay tuned.
and...WHO HOOKED UP DURING THIS UBERCON?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-10 14:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I consider you all my family now. If you ever need anything, from money to oral, I am here for you.
i need both.
val, this post was awesome. I feel the same way. if you ever need anything,
sweetie, you've got my number.
I love when hot guys pretend to be ghey.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-08-10 14:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Razor....
good point.
But I think most of those pics were taken by my camera.
oh god.
And incest is totally legal in NH.
(right?)
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-08-10 14:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hrm.
hehe
Woulda prefered a pic of you getting spanked, but oh well :P
who are those two?
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-08-10 14:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Zone, it is obvious that New Yorker Ubers need to get together and party sometime in the village.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-08-10 14:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-08-10 14:41:15 (#)
Ranking: 1
"I consider you all my family now. If you ever need anything, from money to oral, I am here for you."
nice.
---
Looks like I'm not the only one who did a double take on this line. You give your family members oral?
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-08-10 14:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2, but you know posting that picture is going to lead to revenge postings of certain people and body shots.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-08-10 14:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*sniffle* i miss you val, was i the pity spooning?
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-08-10 14:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I consider you all my family now. If you ever need anything, from money to oral, I am here for you."
nice.
but, who hooked up?