Diary of a Madman 16 (1006 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: doam
Rating: 1.93 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bigmike (View user info) at 2004-08-10 23:53:29 EDT
I need to examine my life.
Or what's left of it.
I don't even go upstairs anymore except to leave the house. I sit here all day staring. Staring. Staring.
The stains on the floor look like Rorschachs. I have tried to clean them but there are just too many layers. Too much history. Too many personalities embedded in those stains. The blood flows like wine and the people keep disappearing. So quickly. Too quickly. Too many buckets and bathtubs. Not enough clorox. Not enough scrubbing. Way too much hydrocloric acid.
The liquid, the juices seep into the concrete and stay. I clean them and they fade like the lives they represent. Faded and forgotten except for by their closest of friends and family. And me.
I outlined them in chalk today. I had nothing better to do. Then I stared at them. All day. The results are incredible.
Over in the corner where I had Jack for about two weeks there is a man and woman kissing. She is kissing him and he is kissing her back. They are about to bury knives into each others backs. This is by far the most interesting of the stains. Jack may actually have liked what his life juices turned into. He was such a lover of art. A real thespian to the core. He couldn't act out the pain though. His performances were real. He learned a great deal about pain before he died. His bloodstain is a reflection of his personality. Nice up front, stab you in the back.
How fucking ironic. I'm glad he's dead.
I have a dog over in the other corner where I disemboweled maria last week. He's a big dog and he has a fierce snarl. He is spitting blood. He looks ferocious. His hair is standing on end and he will torment me with the sounds that he is making in my head. He will be the first to be bleached into eternity. She was always a fiesty tart. She hated me until the very end. I saw it on her face. The snarl, just like the dog.
The wall splatter is interesting. I blew Janies brains out all over the wall by the door, that fucking whore. If anybody deserved it she did with her short skirts and five hundred dollar fees. I enjoy looking at that stain. Interesting stains for brains. That little bit of orange/brown residue never seems to quite make it off the wall. I've tried. I will try again. Her brain stain looks like Charlie Chaplin, little bowler hat tilting as he waves and smiles in a greeting. Charlie Chaplin forever silent looking at me through dried brains. Is that hair mixed in with his hat? I thought I got that all. That's a nice touch. Dumb blonde. Charlie looks way better than you did at the end honey. Way better.
He refuses to come down off the wall and give me a performance though. I've tried to will him down this very afternoon.
Maybe he's scared of the dog.
The chalk outlines seem to run together. It is a conglomeration of sights, sounds, smells, tastes. I have licked these walls, these floors. I have tasted the metallic flavor. I have smelled the copper of their lust, of their desires. I have painted the finger paintings of the sane, of the insane. Logic dictates that this is not reasonable, but who here is logical? None of them were. They tried to make sense of it all, they tried to be logical with me. Some made it a very long way and some didn't. Each journey a small but very significant part of their lives.
Ultimate realization. The end is nigh. This is what the end looks like? This is how the end happens?
You can see it in their eyes.
You can see the pity, the desperation, the disgust, the shame. You can feel the warmth of life mingling with the shiver of death's call. You can see it in the chalk. You can sense it in the stains. Maybe I won't clean it up right away. This would make a good quiz for future inhabitants of my world. Yes, a quiz, the prize being life. Failure, well failure means they become one of them.
One of the stains.
Thank you Mr. Rorschach, for a very entertaining afternoon.
User Reviews
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-22 17:04:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-08-19 02:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-08-12 00:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-08-11 00:33:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting... You really are crazy...
No, really, I'm not. :)
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-08-11 10:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2004-08-11 09:49:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-08-11 07:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-08-11 07:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-08-11 06:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-08-11 06:14:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is what BigMike does when someone -2's him.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-08-11 03:06:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The image looks like the skin peeled off the face of a canine, or maybe it's Switzerland melted into Italy with a side of Egypt.
Still going strong.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-08-11 01:11:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pure genius. I've read a few of these and I have no idea where you come up with this stuff. What're your inspirations? Your near-expert use of imagery along with your well thought-out blurred personality of an insane man makes for some great stories. Keep it up.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-08-11 00:33:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting... You really are crazy...
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-08-11 00:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. Bigmike.
I've said it before.
I don't particularly enjoy the subject matter of these stories, but the writing and the realism is incredible.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-08-11 00:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sometimes he goes through a crisis of identity. Sometimes he doesn't fully understand the depths of his own emotions and he is confused.
Sometimes he doesn't know what to do with himself when he doesn't have a "guest" so he reflects.
When he does, I don't think he likes what he see's in himself.
In this case the stains have helped him to regain a little focus. It took him all day and a little agonizing but it helped.
I think. We'll see.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-08-11 00:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He seems to be losing that totally collected arrogance that's marked him so far. Is that deliberate?
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-08-10 23:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-10 23:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus Fucking Two