Adventures at Bud's (Part 9) (554 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 2 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <xenon> (View user info) at 2004-08-11 10:09:28 EDT
Beaver Hunting
The woods surrounding most of Bud's pond were pretty natural. No trails, lots of underbrush. Bud started noticing very large portions of bark missing from some of the trees near the water. Then he started finding small trees gnawed through and toppled over. He knew it was a beaver causing this destruction.
He told us about the furry terror, and that he wanted us to get rid of it any way necessary. We said, "No problem." Fink and I scoured the area surrounding where the little devil had been chewing. We marked a few possible homes for him and asked Bud if he cared at all how we got rid of him. He said, "No," and we took him literally.
Bud and Hag went out of town for a weekend, so Friday was Beaver Day! We doused all of the possible Beaver habitats with gas and lit them up. No sign of Mr. Beaver. We also wrecked anything that remotely resembled a beaver dam. This was all in preparation for the big finale. For the rest of the day, we worked on more normal jobs. We left at our usual time of 3PM and agreed to meet back at 9PM. Since beavers are more active at dusk and night, we had to wait for him to come out later.
I was able to obtain some equipment from my Dad who is in the military. I brought a pair of night vision binoculars, a shotgun, and a rifle. The rifle was outfitted with a NV scope also. We were both decked in black and camo. We were a beaver's worst nightmare.
Upon arrival, we setup in two key pre-determined positions where we would both be able to see the most area near his habitat and not be pointing at each other with our firearms. Fink was closer to where we thought he may be with the shotgun. I sat farther in a clearing with the rifle. Once the sun set, we put on our goggles and waited. We had already decided to stay all night if that was what it took to kill this menace. Why not since we were getting paid for it?
Not even 30 minutes after the sun set, I saw the little critter coming from one of the places we had marked and burned that afternoon. He must have been out on the town when we were burning his village. I looked at Fink, and it was clear that he didn't have a clear shot. I waited patiently to see where he was going. He went over to one of the trees that he was working on before and started gnawing the crap out of it. Those little buggers can chew some wood. I was impressed.
Since he seemed fairly stationary at this point, I decided to make my move. I was only about 30 yards away, so it was an easy shot. I quietly removed my goggles and brought the NV scope to my right eye. I brought the hairy beast into the middle of the crosshairs, inhaled...exhaled slowly, and squeezed the trigger. POW! A big ball of fur went tumbling away from me into the grass. No movement. Fink was over him with the shotgun the instant I pulled the rifle from my eye. He poked him a few times and determined he was down for the count.
We hauled his furry butt into the back of the Gator and dumped it in the back of Bud's property. We made our way back to our vehicles, congratulated each other on a job well done and went home and went to bed. Bud was very proud of us when he got back on Monday.
Man, that was fun!
Next up...Mowing the Street.
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User Reviews
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-08-11 11:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus two since I just read a whole entire beaver story and I never even once thought about vagina. Until now.
Submitted by Cryopaul (user info) at 2004-08-11 10:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You paint a nice picture. Wish I was there.