It's a bit dirty (817 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: blog
Rating: 1.78 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2004-08-12 08:24:35 EDT
Every city has their "dirty river". The river that looks nice from afar, but you're smart enough to keep your hands and feet on solid ground. Usually the city-planners put a few parks along this river. Of course, for liablity reasons, they post those, "No Swimming" signs.
I took Xander to such a park today. The first thing he did was crunch up and take a poop.
Not a poop... that's not right. He sprayed brown matter from his ass.
"ARGH!" Oh well, at least they wouldn't expect me to use the poop-bag to pick THAT up. "C'mon." I pull him along, he runs up ahead a little bit. There is shit all over his butt-hair. Dammit. I have one option, and one option only. He will have to go in the river. I'd rather have river dirt on him that poop.
We found a clearing, I poped his leash off, and he ran for the water. He loves water. Of course, since it's a river, there is no sandy beach... just a grassy overhang. I sat down on this overhang... my feet dangling just above the water. Every so often I picked up a stick and threw it out to the dog.
Xander had something in his mouth. What is that? I squint and lean in a bit. A bobber!!! A fucking BOBBER! He was rolling it around, trying to flick it out, but it was stuck. Shit, what if there's a hook?
"COME! DROP IT! COME! XANDER!" He kept swimming and trying to dislodge the bobber. "COME! DROP IT! DROP DROP COME!" after what seemed to be an eternity, he got the bobber out of his mouth, and started to swim over to me. I leaned down and put his leash back on while he was still in the water. I pried his mouth open to look for a fishing hook.
Okay, he's fine. I'm fine, he's fine.
He starts to climb up the embankment at the exact time I try to stand up. I fall backwards into the water... and somehow managed to pull the DOG back into the water. He falls on top of me, my head goes under.
My head went under in a NO SWIMMING river!!!
Xander managed to get off of me and climb back up the bank. He stood above, watching me flail my arms and try to get up.
Then of course, he started barking and wagging his tail.
At least one of us thought it was funny.
User Reviews
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now THAT was funny.
You got pwned by your pwn dog.
Submitted by Jamie (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so fucking funny...thats something my dog would do.
your dog is fucking awesome.
and adorable.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-12 23:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha your dog is a genius and he just knows the effort you go to entertain him. He just likes to let you know that he appreciates you.
When you said he had something in his mouth I immediately went: Oh no! A mullet!
Submitted by whiskeyjack (user info) at 2004-08-12 17:24:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha I bet you got a few undiscovered VDs
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-08-12 17:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That dog might be cute if it weighed less than me and two of my immediate family members.
Ok, maybe he's not THAT big.. but he's big, and sheds... ugh! I haven't been to her place in months, and I still find them damn reddish/orange hairs all over my clothes.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think that the river really counts as polluted unless a carelessly discarded match will cause it to ignite.
WHAT??
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great looking dog!
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh....
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-08-12 09:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
....dirty.
Submitted by propertie_fenspost (user info) at 2004-08-12 09:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Note to apple tush, it's called motherese
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2004-08-12 09:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apple_tush (user info) at 2004-08-12 09:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not to sound too girly but that dog is the cutest
*likkle baby voice* Ahhh...come here boy, come on...there's a good boy.
Ahem.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-08-12 09:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gross! Eww! Do not touch me.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-08-12 08:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better a bobber than a floater...
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-08-12 08:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-12 08:39:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-12 08:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If the water was polluted that badly, there would be No Fishing signs posted. The State's fish commission wouldn't want people glowing in the dark from eating poisoned fish.
It's probably posted No Swimming because the city/state/whoever doesn't want the insurance liability of kids drowning or having to pay lifeguards.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-08-12 08:31:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for happy water dogs