The hilarious consequences of rough sex (8442 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.92 on 107 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by comicbookguy (View user info) at 2004-08-12 10:29:27 EDT
I'm going on exchange next year to Sydney, Australia. Part of the whole exchange program at my school is to become a buddy with one of the incoming exchange students. And though I had my fingers crossed for a hot babe from Spain, I was instead granted Wally, an exchange student from the Ahmedabad Institute of Management in India. How convenient.
Let me tell you a little about Wally.
Firstly, Wally (Waleed) loved western culture. Baseball, hotdogs, hamburgers, Hollywood, Wally loved it all. He also had some sort of obscure obsession with car bumper stickers, and would giggle uncontrollably when he saw one. A couple of his favorites were "unless you're a hemorrhoid, get off my ass" and "if you don't like the way I drive, then you shouldn't be on the sidewalk." However, he couldn't understand the ones that said, "my child is an honor student at such and such school" because in India, all the kids were honor students. If you weren't, you were kicked out of school and inevitably sentenced to a life of snake charming or fruit selling.
Another thing about Wally was that he was, in all senses of the word, a mimbo. A male bimbo. Despite his heavy Indian accent, Wally was quite the ladies man, and I experienced this first hand when I took him out at night. Unfortunately, despite being incredibly book smart, Wally was dumb as a post in all other accounts.
In addition to being a mimbo, Wally was also a mlut, a male slut. Now, you may argue that to some degree, everyone man is indeed a slut, but our friend Wally took the gold medal in that department. Despite being able to get quality snatch most of the time, Wally would screw anything that was breathing and had a vagina. The man was a walking boner.
Wally's love for western culture and women also fostered his love for the beach. Unfortunately, Toronto wasn't exactly known for its luxurious beaches, but luckily for Wally, there was a small one called Wasaga about an hour out of the city. I couldn't go with Wally that particular weekend, so he decided to do the adventure solo.
Being the Casanova that Wally was, he managed to meet a hot little number who lived near the beach; they immediately hit it off. According to Wally, this girl was a real freak, and that was okay with Wally because he was a super freak. Fortunately for me, two freaks equal instant hilarity.
Night fell, and Wally and this girl decided they wanted each other, so borrowing a cottage of the girl's friend who was out for evening, Wally and his lady friend expressed their lust by screwing like rabbits.
Now according to Wally, this girl let him put it in all holes, including the back entrance which is wear the hilarity begins, because as Wally was working away, the girls screams of passion were so loud that an innocent stranger walking his dog thought she was being raped. So, he did what any good citizen would do. He called the police.
Obviously oblivious to all this, these two cretins were still going at each other. Then the girl, in all her freaky glory, tells Wally to pull out because she "wants it all over her face." Wally, being the freak that he is, does nothing but oblige.
As Wally's troops are on the brink of explosion, the door busts open and a cop stands at the doorway, revolver in hand.
Unfortunately, the cop couldn't have come at a worst time because the moment he did, Wally's boys raided this poor girls face.
The next words out of the girl's mouth scared the shit out of Wally. She looked at the cop with a hint of recognition on her face.
".....Daddy?"
The man was in shock.
"Nancy!....what........what the FUCK.......what?!"
Nancy couldn't look at her father.
"Wally, say something!" she whispered pleadingly.
And so Wally, in all his infinite wisdom, thick accent and all, said what I think was most appropriate.
"Uh....if this house is rocking....please do not come knocking....please?
I'm happy to say he escaped unharmed.
Oh Waleed Sivasubram. Will you ever learn?
User Reviews
Submitted by skee (user info) at 2008-12-10 10:25:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
WHY DID THIS POST GET +2'S? ITS SHITTY.....
WAKE UP PEOPLE
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-12-10 04:59:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LoL
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-07-23 14:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-23 13:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-04-25 16:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
gold
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-12-14 09:46:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-14 09:44:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mah brotha from anotha motha
Submitted by Walker (user info) at 2005-12-14 09:39:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my gawd... what's a guy do in that kind of a situation?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-15 10:32:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I pray that this is at least 50% true.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-11-15 10:17:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
KickArse
(100th review)
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-07-11 12:40:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy money shot batman!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-02-19 14:41:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wally sounds cool.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-02-19 14:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very fnny.
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2005-02-19 14:20:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2005-02-19 14:03:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Gollman (user info) at 2005-02-12 04:46:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:09:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:07:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-02-11 13:00:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A little bit of pee came out I laughed so hard.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-11 12:55:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BludKake (user info) at 2005-02-11 12:48:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Arr, humor!!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-02-11 12:47:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Must read all your posts sometime.
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-11 12:39:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ljgmlg2 (user info) at 2005-02-01 05:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kochier (user info) at 2005-01-10 01:23:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment I just can't think of anything to say
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-01-07 08:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck off... I'm still crying from laughter. That's fantastic. Best. Post. Ever.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-01-07 07:49:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe I've never seen this series. My god I laughed my cock off.
Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2005-01-07 06:45:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus fucking 2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-01-06 21:55:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck off, that was awesome.
I didn't think stuff like that happened. That RULES!! And so do you.
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-01-06 13:31:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fargin hy-lareyuss!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2004-10-29 12:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-09-28 18:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post rules. Wally rules. You rule.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-08-25 23:53:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice.
Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-08-24 19:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I must say, every single post I've read by you is better than most stuff on baw.
Submitted by GhostWriter (user info) at 2004-08-24 19:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES!
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-08-24 10:42:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wally can rock out with his cock out
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-24 01:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
cbg, you are among my top 5 favorite authors on this site. Easily.
Submitted by carsontheedge (user info) at 2004-08-24 01:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-08-24 01:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha. I'm sad I missed this. And happy I read this now. A mixture of fruit flavours. Good god I'm tired.
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-08-23 18:10:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love all your shit, but this one rocked so hard cuz im stoned and just read
"Uh....if this house is rocking....please do not come knocking....please?"
out loud in a thick indian accent and i laughed my ass off.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-08-23 16:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would pay good money to have a chick's dad watch me frost his daughter.
Submitted by hummer_please (user info) at 2004-08-23 15:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this story rocks even harder because i was in wasaga beach last week! i've been where wally came! who wants to touch me?
Submitted by KieferSutherland (user info) at 2004-08-20 16:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Worst Post Ever...just kidding this was fuckin' funny.
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2004-08-20 16:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AWESOME!
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-08-19 14:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wasaga--- always a good time... Labour day weekend!!!
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-08-17 02:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh. my. god. no.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-08-16 15:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by 01011010 (user info) at 2004-08-15 22:36:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that's 'MOE' like it.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-15 14:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh....if this house is rocking....please do not come knocking....please?
--------------------
HAHAHAHAHASNORTSPEPSIHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by PurplePeopleEater at 2004-08-14 21:50:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit. I can just imagine how he sounded to the father... how old was the chick?
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-08-14 16:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2004-08-14 07:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beauty.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-14 07:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should be shot dead for being this good.
+2 die.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-08-13 07:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Every thing that comes spewing out of your keyboard is comic gold.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2004-08-13 06:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awww Wally. What a stud - what's his number?
Submitted by tictactoe (user info) at 2004-08-13 06:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go Wally!
Submitted by sTowned (user info) at 2004-08-13 06:25:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I would have been that cop I would have blown Wally's balls away (of course with my gun u nerds)
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-08-13 01:12:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW!
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-08-13 00:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kicker of all ass (+2)
Submitted by deenie (user info) at 2004-08-12 17:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by disAbled (user info) at 2004-08-12 16:33:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Random Faggot <RandomFaggot.at.randomfaggot.com> at 2004-08-12 16:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 i didnt read it but i hate apu and his ugly bitch wife
Submitted by dobrovolets (user info) at 2004-08-12 16:27:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-08-12 16:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You gotta post em around 2 on SPT.
That way when the people coming off lunch will be have already posted there SPT, the people who are at work who say "SHIT! I DIDN"T POST A SPT!" won't knock it off for about 3 hours.
I just think they should make the front page longer.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-12 16:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
off the front page in two hours. HOT DIGGETY DAMN YOU SPT.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-08-12 15:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-08-12 14:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2004-08-12 13:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-08-12 12:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-08-12 12:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-08-12 12:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what can i say? just can't believe that something that perfect happened.
go Wally. Wally for President! even though it's canada.....
Submitted by camor (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:58:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:58:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So cliche, but still funny
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A mlut! Get that into Webster's as soon as possible.
Submitted by big_wiggah (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:42:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed. Then I fell out of my chair. I'm being given some very strange looks here. This is all your fault. "Daddy?" Hahahaha *thud*
Submitted by vodka7tall (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:39:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you'll still be ubering abroad. I don't know how I'd survive 6 months without a good CBG story!
Submitted by bigp0ppa (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:30:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
liked it, could have gotten into more detail though. but excellent!!
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
!!!
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"including the back entrance which is wear the hilarity begins"
Wear? Aaaaah, you guys have turned me into a spelling/grammar nazi.
However, this is still an excellent post. CBG, you are my hero.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh dear god.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:12:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow...maybe I won't ignore all those Indian men in chat now!!
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The NY Mets are my favorite squadron.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Vodka: going for six months. Should be great. I've lived at home during school so this should be refreshing change.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:08:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Slightly cliched ending, but still very funny...
Submitted by Scotsman (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you Cum again
+2!
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:02:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by vodka7tall (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's just about the funniest exchange student story I've ever heard!
PS - Have fun on your exchange. I did the same thing back in highschool - went to France for a year. How long are you going for?
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bwahahahahahaha!
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2004-08-12 11:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pure genius...whether or not it's fiction, it's genius.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lojo! No worries dude.
Submitted by MGB (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:57:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was so funny i couldnt laugh or make any sounds at all, just in shock. a definate +2
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:56:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! Oh god, I'm sorry!! Lojo=stupid cunt.
+2+2+2+2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Lord. Too damn funny.
You are one of my favorite writers on Uber. Keep up the good work!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted to B@W.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Waleed Sivasubram. Will you ever learn?
The question is "when will you start teaching?"
not a +2, but for SPT this qualifies.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
feel free to nominate it people! Wally r0x0rz my b0x0rz
Submitted by WRECKER (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:51:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree say it's true. For all that is holy, this is too good not to be true.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:50:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfect! Flawless! Bravo! Encore! Hermp! Hermp? Best post ever!
+10 for you.
Down with SPT!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You've made my day, comicbookguy!
Submitted by iamshadows0 (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Cool Fuckin Beans"
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I swear this is true.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Grand Slam!
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious.
Wait, I'm confused. Isn't it Thursday?
Who the hell decided to make this a good content day on Uber?
I didn't get the freakin' memo!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please say it's true! Please, for the love of God, tell me you didn't make this up!!!!
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking kick ass! Thursday August 12 is apparently an amazing day for Ubersite.
Really funny. CBG rules.
Submitted by roxxxy4 (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha
no way this can be true!
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-08-12 10:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
........
HAHAHAHAHHAHAH
Oh holy shit that was funny.... hahahahahha.... hahah.....