Adventures at Bud's (Part 10) (579 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.5 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <xenon> (View user info) at 2004-08-12 10:38:34 EDT
Mowing the Street
Hag was holding a party at their house one summer today. You see, Hag and Bud had just been married in May of that year and Hag was new to the town that Bud lived in. So, all of her friends and acquaintances lived over an hour away from her. She felt like Bud's house finally looked decent enough to have her friends down for a knock-out/drag-out party to end all parties. Well, at least as far as 55 year-olds go.
Of course, this meant that Fink and I had to "prep" the house for the invasion of the old horny ladies on Saturday. We literally started doing stuff to get ready for this party almost one month in advance. We had to drain, fix, and refill his fountain by the pool. We had to clean his entire pool by HAND because the algae was so bad no amount of shock would get rid of it! We had to fix his pool filter, weed all of the flower beds around the house, clean his outdoor dining chairs and tables, and of course...mow.
Now mowing, was normally one of the more pleasurable tasks that Fink and I did. It was just sitting and steering. It was definitely a lot easier than most of the heavy labor we did. Well, two days before the party, we started mowing since it takes over 1 day just to mow all of his grass because he has so much. One side of the yard in front of the house is a huge field that we normally don't mow. We mow about 5 rows right next to the driveway, and the rest is untouched. The other side, we mow completely. Well, Hag decided it didn't look good with just 5 or 6 rows mowed, so we had to mow more. How much more, you ask? Ohhhhh, about 30 ROWS!
Keep in mind that these grasses/wheats/sequoia trees are taller than we are standing up. Cutting them even with a 48" commercial mower is not going to work. We needed to cut the heavy stuff with the tractor first, then clean it up with the regular mower.
Bud: "No, you don't need to use the tractor. Just go slow with the mower, and it will work."
Us: "Ok, Bud, sure, no problem."
Sooo, as they left to run some errands, we hopped on the mowers and started trudging through the weeds. There were times that we were going so slow that the wheels of the mower would get stuck on the piled up cut grass. Finally, after about 4 hours, we got the stupid weeds cut. We thought we were done. We had already finished the rest of the lawn, so we went back to working on something else.
About one hour before we normally leave, Bud and Hag returned. Bud said the grass looked great, but Hag didn't like the way the road looked. The road? You mean the front of your property line that we just mowed?
Bud: "No, she wants the whole road's edge mowed from the stop sign to our driveway."
Us on the inside: "What the fuck?! Mow the damned road?! That's a freakin' quarter mile!"
Us on the outside: "Ok, Bud, but we're going to have to stay late."
Bud: "I know. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you."
We then spent the next 2 hours mowing the f-ing road. We made Hag come inspect it to make sure it was what she wanted before we left too to make sure she didn't come whining about it on Monday saying it didn't look right.
So, we almost got hit twice, almost rolled over 5 or 6 times because of steep embankments, and jacked one mower blade from hitting the stump of an old street sign.
What fun!
Next up...Risky Business
X
User Reviews
Submitted by Cryopaul (user info) at 2004-08-12 13:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should have thrown in a story on how you burned half a field so you didn't have to mow it for a month.
Submitted by jboogz (user info) at 2004-08-12 12:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"a knock-out/drag-out"
I believe the expression is Knock-down, drag-out
I liked these stories in the beginning but now its more like just complaining about a summer job you had years ago.