Jewtoast pwns the moon (1073 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.7 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jewtoast <Jewtoast2000.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-08-12 21:04:56 EDT
Greetings once again, you wastes of space.
Since I'm feeling generous today, I have decided to share my latest acquisition with you peons.
You see, NASA contacted me, and begged me to go up into space, since NASA sweats my rich gold plated balls.
Being the smooth businessman that I am, I made some "power moves" while I was up there, and through a series of mergers and acquisitions, I pwned the moon. I plan on naming it Planet Toast, and will be flying up there with Donald Trump, Hugh Heffner and the guys that own Google, and throw the biggest jam this side of the galaxy.
Heff has agreed to dislodge the entire Playboy Mansion, bitches and all, and float it up there.
There will be plenty of moon poon for all.
On a side note, poor Monkeytoast has fallen into a deep depression, and has gained a little weight, as you may have noticed. He feels more comfortable on the moon, however, with the gravity being as it is. So, all in all, everyone's happy.
I would invite all of you pathetic slobs to this party, but the truth of the matter is, I don't like any of you (Except for my business partner, Hidden101, he's such a pimp). I might consider bringing some of the broads from this poor excuse for a website if they're hot enough.
Send naked photos to jewtoast2000.at.yahoo.com
Well, time to sue a few poor slobs for all they're worth, and buy a grotto in Hawaii.
It doesn't get any better than me. Honestly.
Do the right thing, and go to law school (Harvard). Maybe one day, you can be as rich and powerful as me.
But I doubt it.
User Reviews
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-13 15:22:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Moon-poon
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-01-13 15:11:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-01-13 18:45:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Still awesome.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-08-23 18:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-21 16:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loved it.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-20 16:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry, whenever I see this, I laugh so hard my bajiner clenches and a little pee squirts out.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-08-20 07:46:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
moon poon.
AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-08-20 07:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH YEAH?!
Well maybe I'll just buy enough stock options to overthrow your board of directors!
Whaddaya think of that, JEW? Uh.. TOAST?!
Submitted by punchdrunk (user info) at 2004-08-18 06:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A dick that doesnt work anymore?
Submitted by Kellio (user info) at 2004-08-18 06:43:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Everyone knows that if you speak so highly of yourself that you are covering for something. Let me guess, tiny dick?
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-08-13 08:48:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jewtoast pwns the final frontier
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-13 07:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bleh.
Submitted by I-remember-big-daddy (user info) at 2004-08-13 06:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe he pawned the moon for mercury.
When I grow up I wanna be Jewtoast
Submitted by angry_keebler (user info) at 2004-08-13 06:29:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wierdly funny.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-08-13 03:58:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
see you at the party, baby! save some sluts for me, you ladykiller!
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-08-13 03:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2004-08-13 00:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is better than ....let's see how can I put this?
Bush's tax cuts.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-08-12 23:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for playing the banjo on the moon.
+1 for having the moon in the background of the moon.
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-08-12 23:44:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You'd think with all that money, you could visit the denist for some new teeth.
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When you're JewToast you don't need teeth, he probably has somebody to chew his food for him.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-08-12 23:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SO inane I laughed my guts up.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-12 23:12:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41531
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-12 23:09:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hardy ha.
Nice work if you can get it!
Submitted by G_Nonny (user info) at 2004-08-12 23:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-08-12 22:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Werd.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-08-12 22:28:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:52:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
*walks into your party*
"YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF NIGGERS!"
*takes a shit on the floor*
*leaves*
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You'd think with all that money, you could visit the denist for some new teeth.
Submitted by RideJohnnyRide (user info) at 2004-08-12 22:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
business and financial
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-08-12 22:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture is awesome
Submitted by ofMontreal (user info) at 2004-08-12 22:08:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that conversation reminds me of http://www.toss-my-salad.com/
and sorry for the kike comment. i call everyone a kike, it was mere coincidence that you are jewtoast. i will be more careful.
and this is mostly another excuse to +2 you anyway so ill just end it here
Submitted by JewToast. (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JewToast: i would like to invite you over to my mansion for a lobster dinner, some fine wine, and sex
lojope: YES
lojope: God, you are so hot.
JewToast: i know this
JewToast: youre pretty fine yourself
lojope: I have a lovely little trick I do with chocolate syrup, a coffee mug, six matches, and ass
beads
lojope: I'd love to show it to you
JewToast: you can practice on monkeytoast, the only person that sticks anything up my ass is me
lojope: Who said it was going in your ass?
JewToast: just covering my ass, so to speak
lojope: I'd like to cover your ass
lojope: with my tongue
JewToast: fantastic. I shall fire up the jet and swing by your house in a few
JewToast: bring any and all hot female friends as well
lojope: I'll get out my sexiest lingerie
JewToast: no need, i have closets full for you to choose from
lojope: Excellent, then I shall be completely naked when you get here
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*walks into your party*
"YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF NIGGERS!"
*takes a shit on the floor*
*leaves*
Submitted by JewToast. (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Since I have already seen you naked, and it pleased me, you are most welcome to join us.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jewtoast pwns EVERYTHING. Can I come to your party?
Submitted by JewToast. (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Calling me a "kike" will not get you in my good graces, you sniveling little troll. I suggest you watch what you say to a powerful lawyer such as myself. I will ruin you.
Submitted by ofMontreal (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
most awesome post ever..kike. i like the hook nosed jewish man in the second moon the best.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:30:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pro.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everyone already knows I own and control the moon!
Get off my rock you sleazy laywer!!!
Submitted by Socky (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:16:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JT!!!!
Submitted by JewToast. (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:13:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Koolmang, dont be so jealous, it's quite unbecoming of you.
This is why I wouldn't invite you to any of my amazing parties. You're an angry little monkey.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So the moon has a moon? And said moon-moon has a picture of what appears to be a cartoon version of Ringo Starr?
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why this amuses me so much.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-08-12 21:06:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment