Because The Future Is Uber - Part VI (781 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.76 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by gamma (View user info) at 2004-08-13 10:12:24 EDT
"I'm glad to see you have all volunteered to do this. It is a dangerous mission, but it has to be done. According to Smurf, there were at least a thousand warriors on the field. Who knows how many more there are?" said Bart.
"How are we supposed to find them?" asked Lojope.
"There is a tracking device that was embedded on WillZone's circuitry. In spedmonkey's backpack, you will find a radar. From that, you should be able to locate them...assuming they're still alive" replied Bart.
"So how are we going to rescue them?" asked WiKi.
"That is for you to figure out. NerfHerder, Burn, prepare the shuttle."
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The captured troops had been walking, and limping in AlahAckbar's case, in silence for the better part of an hour when they were stopped and aligned with their backs to a wall. The sting of cold metal being tightened on their wrists sent a chill down LadyPlural's spine. Their blindfolds were removed and they found themselves in a primitive jail cell. Outside of the cell, there were three of the creatures. Behind them was another empty cell.
"You are to stay here until your fate is decided upon. A doctor will come tend to the injured man's foot later. Until then, be quiet." said one of the beasts while shutting the door.
"FUCK YOU. I don't need your god damn treatment." shouted AlahAckbar.
The guards walked away without acknowledging the comments.
"You should let them have a look at it. A wound like that could get infected and cause permanent damage if not treated." pleaded LadyPlural.
"I'd rather die than let one of those sons of bitches lay another hand on me."
"I always knew I'd end up chained to a wall next to a woman. I just wish you weren't shackled so that we could take advantage of this." said Shark25 to LadyPlural.
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The shuttle landed by the lake this time.
"Good luck guys, I'll be waiting here for your return." said Burn to the crew.
NerfHerder put the latest addition to his gay porn collection on the shuttle's television as the team made their way out of the vessel.
Spedmonkey pulled out the tracking device and exclaimed: "Alright, if we just follow this blip on the radar, we should reach our destination in no time!"
"Way to state the obvious. Moron." Retorted shitfuck.
"Quit fighting, we should get a move on it before it gets dark," said WiKi as she pinched shitfuck's right areola.
With that, they set off into the looming darkness.
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"Doctor is here to see you," bellowed a voice from down the hallway.
"I told you, I don't need a fucking doctor. Leave me the hell alone," shouted AlahAckbar.
An older looking alien appeared before the cell. Opening the door, it spoke.
"You seem to have a temper problem. I'm here to help. Why must you be so negative?"
"I'm sorry there aren't any butterflies fleeting around my head. I'm sorry there aren't Carebears crawling out of my ass expressing everything that is good. I'm sorry I'm not the happiest person around right now, but in case you haven't noticed, I'VE HAD A SPEAR THROWN INTO MY FOOT, BEEN FUCKING CAPTURED, AND I'M CHAINED TO A WALL!" screamed AlahAckbar with spittle flying out of his mouth.
The doctor pulled a rather large needle out of his bag.
"What the hell is that?" asked AlahAckbar.
"Cooperate, or I will use this to sedate you," explained the doctor.
"For the last time, I WILL NOT COOPERATE WITH YOU!" screamed AlahAckbar with rage.
"Oh man, this is making me SO horny. I need to get laid...RIGHT NOW!" exclaimed Matt Maiorano.
The doctor approached AlahAckbar and buried the needle deep into his patient's arm. After waiting a few minutes, he opened his bag and began cleaning the wound.
"What are you doing mommy?" asked AlahAckbar.
--------------------------
The steady beeping on Spedmonkey's radar grew faster and louder. In the darkness of night, the crew could make out the faint outlines of buildings.
"Look at that building, there seems to be shapes pacing back and forth. That has to be where they're keeping everyone," whispered jme7551.
"Lucky for us, it's the closest one," added Lojope.
"There are only 3 of them. If each of them is shot by two of us, they should be taken down before even getting a chance to call for help," said shitfuck.
Each person grabbed their laser, aimed and fired. All three of the entities dropped to the ground.
"ARRRRRRRRRGH!" screamed one of the fallen foes.
"Shit, one of them is still alive!" exclaimed Spedmonkey as he fired a final beam into they alien's head.
"We have to get moving before backup gets here," said WiKi.
--------------------------
"You must take this nourishment and..." an alien managed to mutter before being interrupted by a loud scream.
"What is going on?" he asked as he ran down the long hallway towards the door.
The creature opened the door and was met with a laser beam in the face. Jme7551 reached for the alien's keys and ran towards the cell as the others stood guard by the door.
"Great! Get us out of here!" screamed LadyPlural with glee.
Jme7551 opened the cell's door and said: "We have to get out of here fast. They're onto us."
After freeing everyone from their shackles, they ran for the exit. Outside, they were greeted by fresh air and the dark evening sky.
User Reviews
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-11-04 11:10:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know how i misssed this one here is a belated +2
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-09-24 12:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatever happened to this series?
Submitted by your_brown_eyed_girl (user info) at 2004-08-23 12:29:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No
Submitted by pakifier (user info) at 2004-08-23 12:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice keep it up. Maybe when your done you can submitt it to the Sci-fi network as a new show idea
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-08-23 12:09:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO ME WOO!
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-08-20 18:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't rate this?! What the fuck?
+2, damnit.
I love shitfuck.
and gamma.
oh, and Method, too.
..who DON'T I love..?
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-18 20:23:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck? I have NO sexual escapades in this one? NONE? Grrr.... You are lucky I don't -2 your ass! Hehehehe... Just kidding. But you'll get no prize from me until I save the day by doing something slutty. :o)
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:35:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice Gamma
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:26:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hehe, I'll see what type of character's I'll need later on.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-13 15:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I demand to be involved in this epic somehow. Perhaps as some sort of space pimp.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-08-13 14:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-08-13 14:45:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm such a lil bitch :(
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No worries, without you running through their army, the others would still be in prison right now. THATS RIGHT! The little guy saved your lives!
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-08-13 14:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm such a lil bitch :(
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-08-13 14:41:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My gay porn collection will save you all. Never fear.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-08-13 13:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The +2 exchange.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-08-13 13:16:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-08-13 12:56:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
I warn you, deprive me of my uber-fix and I get angry. Shark25's chained to the wall comment was hysterical. Those silly aliens... Somehow I expected them to be more technologically superior. I don't know why, because they use spears, but it seems to me that it doesn't really count unless they have super-spooky laser immobilizer beams. Still, they are interesting aliens. Does AlahAckbar's injection contain a virus or a tracking device? Because that would just be amusing. I'm done rambling now. Cheerio
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That's my point...Whenever people think of beings from another planet, they always think of them as crazy beings with all of this technology that we can only dream about. Who's to say they aren't more primitive than we are?
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-08-13 12:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Finally! Write quicker! Need more !
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-08-13 12:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I warn you, deprive me of my uber-fix and I get angry. Shark25's chained to the wall comment was hysterical. Those silly aliens... Somehow I expected them to be more technologically superior. I don't know why, because they use spears, but it seems to me that it doesn't really count unless they have super-spooky laser immobilizer beams. Still, they are interesting aliens. Does AlahAckbar's injection contain a virus or a tracking device? Because that would just be amusing. I'm done rambling now. Cheerio!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-08-13 12:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, you captured the heart and soul of me.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-08-13 11:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hrm
I guess I should have posted the links to the previous parts. I always forget that.
Part 1 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/39530
Part 2 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/39626
Part 3 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/39787
Part 4 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/40115
Part 5 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/40385
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-08-13 10:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome as always man. Cant wait till the next installment.
Btw, have a nice vacation :)
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-08-13 10:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Times
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-08-13 10:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"For the last time, I WILL NOT COOPERATE WITH YOU!" screamed AlahAckbar with rage.
THAT'S RIGHT BITACHES! Never cooperate when captured by the enemy. And you can use a broom to send hidden messages by sweeping out a secret code!
"Sweep sweep SweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeP sweep sweeep sweep sweep sweeeeeep sweep sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeP"
Know what that says?
it says +2, biatches!
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-08-13 10:23:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kick ass as always have fun gamma hurry back i'm anxious for the next installment
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-08-13 10:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME.
Now I'm going to go read it. Have a preliminary +2.
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-08-13 10:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Probably the last addition to this serial before I go on vacation this weekend. 2-3 weeks hiatus for this.
ps: Lojo: When I get back, I'm expecting a prize! :D