Where is the love? (The happier Uber compilation) AND Lindsey Lohan – double feature kids! (4342 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.86 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (View user info) at 2004-08-13 15:57:20 EDT
It's been a while since I've done one of these, and so I have some really old +2's collecting on my computer. I guess it's that time again. For some reason, most of these appear to be sex themed. Go figure.
For those of you who don't know what's going on, I explain the purpose of this series in detail on the following posts:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/27118
http://www.ubersite.com/m/29126
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32193
http://www.ubersite.com/m/35495
Enjoy, kids,
Vivian.
***
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-08-10 18:19:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
The numbing spreads to my shoulder.
My torso is next.
The warm tingle pours down
to my left ass cheek
like a hot slug of molten steel.
Why do I feel this pain?
I reach for my buttock
there is a turnip in my ass.
Now I remember.
***
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-08-08 16:58:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
One time I was in the states and we went to a rest stop in Minnesota or whatever and I PEED ON THE FUCKING SEAT! HARDCORE!
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Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2003-11-27 14:13:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, that's a shame.
I'm glad easter wasn't around in the Oklahoma city bombing. It took the Christians years of breeding to create such a large and well trained rabbit.
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Submitted by MeTHoD at 2003-09-08 20:32:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ever try finding a cricket? I mean, when you hear one of those little fuckers chirping outside, and youre trying to pick at a scab or something, but you cant cuz that little shit is distracting you. So you go outside to pluck his little wings off so he cant make that gay noise anymore, only hes nowhere to be found. So not only are they annoying, theyre fuckin ventriloquists and throw their voices. What the hell do they chirp for anyway? Are they hollerin at bitches? If I was a bitch cricket, id be like "Screw you, you little fag cricket, try something new to get me, like buying me some jewelry, that chirping thing is so played out.
I hate crickets.
***
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-08-01 17:52:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to date midget bitches, so I can rest my beer on their heads.
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Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-07-30 13:32:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
I just kinda fell into my threesome's...
....
Then I found out she had been fucking 10 other guys behind my back. yes. 10 other guys. different guys. at different times. Unless you count the two that continually gang banged her everytime I was in the field as one guy, then it's only 9 other guys.
I should have known that she was a dirty slut. Oh well. Good times were had....except that whole clahmydia thing. (I know I spelled it wrong)
"She floats like a butterfly, and stings like when I pee."
-peter griffen.
***
Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-06-16 01:54:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear God,
I fucked your mom. Perhaps you are my son.
Love squattail
***
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:45:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
No offense or anything, but your head is massive
It's massive and of the Jewish persuasion
I never realized this
Now I understand why you are a Northsider
GO SOX WOO!!
***
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-04-03 20:40:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, I didn't give a shit what the Dixie Chicks had to say, and could not care less about what Eddie Vedder has to say. Now my real question....
Who the fuck cares what Keith Zimmerman has to say???
My god, this guy is quoted in this article as I'm supposed to care? He's talking about how offended he was by Eddie Vedder and blah blah blah.
Oh really? Keith Zimmerman of Denver was offended? *THE* Keith Zimmerman? Of Denver?? Now *I'm* offended too! How dare you do that to Keith, you dirty sons of bitches!!
Fuck you, Keith Zimmerman. Fuck you like there's no tomorrow.
***
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-02-19 18:59:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
No. Wait. Delete that last message. No, don't actually. Well, yeah, delete it. Oh I don't know. Oh GOD! Delete this! Help! I don't understand.
I'm going to read posts by KoolMang to calm down.
***
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:03:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
you know what other bathing activity you might want to try as foreplay?
have him scrub you down with a push broom in the parking lot like a circus animal.
PURE FUCKING ECSTACY!
***
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-06-28 16:22:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-28 16:01:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
you are one entertaining chick.
everytime i see your name i think about the time i went to the zoo and saw a monkey masturbate on a rock and then jump headfirst into the glass and knock himself out.
---------
You always get that story mixed up. That was me at that toga party.
***
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-27 18:20:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
My most heartfelt, humble apologies; it is, I suppose, permissible to miss, say, the ascent of a particularly glorious butterfly through being remiss, but it appears here that I have managed to occlude an entire Renaissance! This most statuesque of wild beasts, cowed by the effluvium of man in the mere fluttering of an eyelid, is as strong a metaphor as ever there could be for the antediluvian world order. Are we to make anything of the kinship with the works of Picasso's Blue period? At first appearances perhaps, though it seems that there is a vitality, an energy here that enterely belies the funereal works of the lesser artist, though mirrorring their sincerity - indeed, if anything, these are life-affirming! Astonishing tecnique, sir, and admirable timing - Apres moi, les deluge! A casket of scrotums are on their way!
***
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-07-26 19:27:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you know that marmosets have three penisis or "penii" if you will?
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Submitted by Yes at 2003-11-14 19:35:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
yes puts his peepee in someones pooper, they scream YIKES what was that some badass cows come along and they are all like g'day mate and then key orange peels burning in coastal highways are gloomy sausage smell for november with small shoes and red hat ford escort williamsburg hats in the mud where mr cruise is sitting in the voyage is long and will try to kill those who do not head the warnings of jello and the fact that there is always room where are my pants?
***
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-07-29 18:19:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
I decided to let those little lists on the left help me make up my choices here. So, based on the Most Recently Reviewed I'd be saying in a Port-O-Crapper, with Rizzo. That didn't sound like much fun, so I went to the Most Heated. There I'd be in Boston with comicbookguy, and, while Boston does sound better than a Port-O-Crapper (slightly), that still doesn't seem very tempting. Based on the Most Viewed Messages, I'll be with Donovan, having sex in a bum's ass. I don't like bum's asses, so we'll move to the MVA where I make my final decision. I'll be having sex with Bart, and it doesn't matter where, as long as there is cheese involved.
***
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-08-09 09:36:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Liked to have sex with feet"
Ah, finally, someone brave enough to insert himself into the various foot orifices. Oral sex, anal sex... pedal sex?
***
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-06-01 13:44:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you ever see the movie Visitor Q? It's a Jap movie and possibly one of the strangest movies ever.
Heres a link- http://www.midnighteye.com/reviews/visitorq.shtml
Well anyway in that movie a guy has sex with a dead corpse and get stuck inside of her poontang
Maybe if you would have had sex with her corpse you would have felt that your relation was con...
No
Nevermind
GO BEARS WOO!!!!
***
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-06-26 02:38:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
April 1992. had just gotten my learner's permit at 15.
In the spare bedroom in her parent's basement. The dog came up and stuck his cold nose on my nuts while I was inside her, and I thought it was her dad with a shotgun. Hilarity ensued for everyone but me.
***
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-18 20:48:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha! Tom got cock-blocked by fairies and unicorns!
***
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-07-30 03:24:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
well, that's just where i like to screw my women. in an uncomfortable place.... LIKE IN THE BUTT.
man, Ben Affleck was chubby in Mallrats.
***
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-01-27 04:15:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot the best one - the hide and seek spoiler move.
Picture playing hide and seek with someone and they decide to hide behind your wet velvety curtains. Once you know they're under there, you go over, spread the curtains to expose the unsuspecting to the fresh air, then you hold the curtains wide open and start licking their face.
Dear god.
***
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-06-16 16:44:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahahahha, I fucked with her some more
---------------------------------------------
HogMan250: hey you
HogMan250: look out
HogMan250: WAAA
Monsterloon13: hoo is this?
HogMan250: Officer Manly
Monsterloon13: hoo?
HogMan250: Officer Manly of the 5th district
Monsterloon13: ?????
HogMan250: don't act dumb sir
HogMan250: we're on to you
Monsterloon13: im a grl thats miss not sir
HogMan250: ok chief
Monsterloon13: im a grl!!!!!!
Monsterloon13: hoo r u?
HogMan250: sure thing charlie
HogMan250: Officer Manly
HogMan250: jesus
Monsterloon13: this is nt charlie and hoo the hell r u?
HogMan250: ahhh
Monsterloon13: hoo r u?
Monsterloon13: ur being really odd
Monsterloon13: hoo the hell is this
HogMan250: why dooo yooooo say wooooo
HogMan250: are youoooo an ooowl?
Monsterloon13: wats wooooooooooooo
HogMan250: wooo
HogMan250: i got your sn from this
Monsterloon13: hoo is this
Monsterloon13: really!
HogMan250: your famous
HogMan250: http://www.ubersite.com/m/35878
HogMan250: click on that
HogMan250: that guy burned you good
Monsterloon13: that was my sis
HogMan250: was it
HogMan250: your lying
HogMan250: thats not your sister
HogMan250: hahahahhaa
HogMan250: hahahahahaha, your the laughing stock of america
HogMan250: ahh ahahahahahahahahahahaha
HogMan250: oh man
HogMan250: woo
HogMan250: end it all man
HogMan250: it's the only hope
Monsterloon13 signed off at 4:00:17 PM.
------------------------------
Hahahahahahahhaha good show
GO BEARS WOO!!!
***
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-08-05 14:28:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sex is way better than shit.
------
This is true, only until you combine them. Then they feed off each other in some ultrasonic symbiotic perpetual asskicking event.
***
On a sidenote, this may be the best picture Lindsey Lohan has ever taken:
User Reviews
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-10-08 17:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love this... several of these are things i can easily see myself saying.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-23 23:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Feel the lurve!
I just don't get why Lindsay is seen as being so hot.
She is definitely no Casta and looking at her chubby arms she will always need to watch herself.
Maybe when she has lost her puppy fat and matured a bit.
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2004-08-18 19:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I ALREADY POSTED THAT! *STEAMS* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Well... I guess posting it again just makes it better. They're just so nice.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-08-16 09:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I could manage to dole out the pork for ol' Lindsay.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-14 14:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Tenyuki (user info) at 2004-08-14 10:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If her boobs weren't so nice, she'd be ugly, dude. She has freckles. I -hate- freckles. And she has all that nasty body glow bullshit that weightlifters use. That shit's disgusting.
Submitted by OhgrNaut (user info) at 2004-08-14 04:14:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the dismembered leg in the background the best.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-08-14 03:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OSLAS is aweosme.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-08-14 00:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats the only pic of that skank where she looks doable.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-08-13 23:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I actually had some shitfuck comments but they got lost in my cropping by accident because I had so many. I didn't realize until after I clicked submit that I hadn't put them in.
Shitfuck, along with Habeeb, is one of the funniest raters on this site.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-13 23:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
she gives me a boner
there are no shitfuck comments? wow.
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-08-13 20:40:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would suck the ever-loving Taco Bell mudd from this woman pink bagel-o-love
+2 for the "space peanut" under my tongue
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-08-13 18:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-08-13 18:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-13 17:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo! I made the list! That was a damn fine +2 if I do say so myself.
Here's another +2 that cracked me up:
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:00:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
No---it's... okay.
I like the picture big.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-08-13 17:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:46:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hilary Duff?
HILARY DUFF??!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
-------------------------
I know, I know...
But ever since I met Lohan (long story) I gotta say she ain't that hot in person.
And she smiled like a deranged yak.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-08-13 17:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-18 20:48:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha! Tom got cock-blocked by fairies and unicorns!
==================================================
...what the blue hell?!
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2004-08-13 17:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It took me about a half an hour to realize there was a foot in the background. What the hell is that?
By the way, I didn't read your post.
Submitted by cowstastegood (user info) at 2004-08-13 17:08:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like these posts, the comments are hilarious.
Best Lindsay Lohan picture EVER.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-08-13 17:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel so weird when people quote me like that. I get all embarrassed and realzie that I am not very funny at all.
But I appreciate the sentiment....
and the Lohan titties.
+2!
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hilary Duff?
HILARY DUFF??!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 purely for this:
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:14:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
****masturbating furiously****
What's this post about?
BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It may be the best picture of her, but I'd still rather bang Hillary Duff.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:30:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
we love vivian
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, degreeless, I think you're right. I saw some plus two's that I was definitely considering, I don't know what I was thinking. I'll shape up next time.
And fetish, I know you hate this series, you've told me that time and time again. But some people really do like it, so just don't click on it next time, they're clearly labeled.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:20:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Momma!
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe you actually left out dirtygook. AND STINKYJAP?!
You're losing it...
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm tired of seeing Lindsey who ever the fuck she is.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:16:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey bart, where are we meeting? I'll bring the cheese.
Submitted by dirtygook (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:15:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
CHINGY CHONG BING BANG WAKKA WAKKA TIKI TORCH!
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the pic.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:14:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PMJ:
It was a blazillion years ago. I was trying to find some old post of Tom's and I came across that. I believe it made sense in the context of the post, but I may be wrong.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey..you know? You know? You know? Huh? Yeh.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:14:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
****masturbating furiously****
What's this post about?
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:09:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't even remember when I posted that.
Oh well, it's Friday, and nice to feel all glowed-up inside.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:03:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOO HOO! I'm famous now!
Submitted by gamma (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bigger picture = bigger funbags.
On a side note, who the hell's leg is that in the back? I never noticed it(probably because I'm too busy staring at her breasts).
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:02:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When the picture is that big, it's real easy to see how Photoshopped it really is!
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay!
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-08-13 16:00:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No---it's... okay.
I like the picture big.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-08-13 15:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lo-lo-lohan!
i finshed.
+2 exchange in effect
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-08-13 15:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear goddddd.
At least, on the plus size, since the picture is so fucking big it's life sized, I can call this a sex post friday post...
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-08-13 15:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OH DEAR SWEET JESUS WHY DIDN'T I RESIZE.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE POSTS THAT MAKE ME SCROLL SIDEWAYS.
I'm so sorry kids, it won't happen again.