Destination: Zero (Part 1) (352 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.6 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SG The Platypus Master (View user info) at 2004-08-13 17:45:33 EDT
Before you read this, know that it is something that I wrote probably 2 or 3 years ago, so I am very aware that it might be pretty cheesy (I hate that word, but I can't think of anything else), especially the prologue. It was supposed to be a long story I wrote in my spare time, but I never finished it (I ended up writing about 5 pages). I'm only posting a small portion of it to see your reactions to it. Anyway, here it is.
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Prologue -
The year is 2317. The inhabitants of an unidentified planet have been invading our galaxy to use as their homes. My number is "0132"; I have been sent along with others to destroy the fleet of invaders and all the inhabitants on their home planet, before they destroy us.
Part 1 -
"You know what this means, don't you?"
"Yes," I told him. I was positive about this. General "5639" was the one organizing this mission; he had it set to start tommorow evening, even though he had is own doubts.
"Alright then," he told me grimly. "There's no backing out now." He shuffled his papers and slowly got up. Old age was crippling him. He put on his coat and I got up to show him to the door. As we walked down the hallway and turned to the left, it seemed as if this were teh last time I would see this man. He walked out the door into the warm summer night, and stood outside in silence for a moment. Slowly he turned to me. "Good luck." He walked away into the darkness, and I watched until I could no longer see him.
Shutting the door, I breathed heavily and turned back towards the hallway. I fell face-forward onto my bed without undressing, and tried to fall asleep. I couldn't. Turning over, I decided to take a walk. I lived in Sector 117359. It was a quiet night, except for a few birds and the distant sounds of the nuclear plant a few miles away. As I turned right towards the gate, I saw a man lying on the grass. Hurredly, I walked over to the lifeless-like body. It was "5639". He was dead.
In no time I arrived at Hospital with "5639". They forced me to stay outside while they examined him; the time-reader displayed 7.20,12. What seemed like hours was only 2 minutes when I heard the doctor walk out of the door to my right. She was dressed in an odd looking suit.
"What happened to him?" I asked.
"I think we'd better go inside," she told me. After fitting me with the same suit, we walked back into the room where the General was lying on the bed. I felt sorry for him. Besides the fact that he was dead, he had no family, or friends. He looked peaceful there, lying still, with nothing to worry about. The doctor slowly opened her mouth to speak. "He died of a virus," she said. I stood in shock.
"What virus?"
"We aren't sure. We have never seen one of this kind. But by the looks of it's structure, it is airborne," she hesitated briefly. "Which means it can be sent without contact."
I suddenly realized what this meant, and why we were wearing the suits. Then another thought came to me. I had already been vulnerable to it's airborne capabilites. I could have the virus. Before I knew it, I was siezed and thrown onto the other bed by about 5 other doctors that immediately came into the room, all suited. They injected me with a white substance, and I began to feel drowsy. I watched as the doctors frantically took blood samples and injected me with more fluids, until I could no longer see.
...To be continued...based on your reaction
User Reviews
Submitted by Valhalla (user info) at 2004-08-14 02:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Potentially hilarious, if read deadpan by B-movie actors.
Submitted by heater (user info) at 2004-08-13 19:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you know what they will call Heat in the future? Lima beans...yeah, no joke.
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-08-13 19:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-08-13 18:14:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd like to see more.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-13 17:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you just now realize that spaces won't indent?
Nice story, but you could've put more.
Oh yeah, I didn't read it, but the pic secured a +2.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2004-08-13 17:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw. What the hell? I put spaces in for indents.