Terribly Sappy Poem (1362 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.94 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rude (View user info) at 2004-08-14 03:58:27 EDT
I thought of you tonight
lying awake while the city sleeps
anxious for what may be because of what was
when your toungue traced my lips I felt so alive,
There was no thought only action.
the cascades of grey in your eyes look so deep into me,
I cannot hide myself from you.
It scares me but I like to be afraid.
There are no others when you are here,
There never were.
You leave me so destroyed.
Thinking of your kiss only brings pain until our next embrace,
soft velvet lips haunt my dreams and my waking hours.
I think of tracing patterns on your skin,
the stories your scars tell
So much has happened here.
So much I will never know.
Many lives lived in such a young body,
many choices made that weren't always right.
I worry for you every night,
where are you now,
Where were you last night when I looked out at the stars.
It has been only a short time,
Feels like ages.
Empires have risen and fallen in your absence,
I have changed more than once.
I have conquered fears and changed lives.
You said on the phone you miss me,
you did miss me,
but only by a day.
We will be together again soon,
even if for only a short time.
You never stay.
You will leave again,
and greif will come again,
and time will pass,
but I won't forget.
You never forget Love
User Reviews
Submitted by lordzinor (user info) at 2004-10-08 19:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hmmmm thats a shit and deeply offensive poem. Your an idiot and a fool.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-15 19:49:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was drunk and sad when i wrote this i apologise
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-08-14 13:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
There are some ok lines in here, but where's the structure? It's confused and the ending is incredibly weak.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-08-14 13:48:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This was almost as bad as my favourite poem.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords,
And shot each other.
Your poem was only midly better than this. So -1 for you !
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-08-14 13:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You like atmosphere and sage francis.
Good for you.
I wholeheartedly approve.
"And there I was frozen, standing in my backyard, face to face, eye to eye, staring at the last star. I should've known, walked all the way home, to find that she wasn't here, I was still all alone.
If only I had known what you already knew...I'm always coming back home to you."
Mmmmmm, that's been in my profile for a while.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-08-14 13:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"and greif will come again,
and time will pass"
--------------------
I've had better writing
Come out of my ass.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-08-14 13:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've written better poetry with my pencil.... WAIT! Fuck, I meant to say PENIS!
PEEEENNNNIIIISSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Either way you have balls for posting it on Uber, which keeps you from getting a negative from me.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2004-08-14 13:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"You leave me so destroyed."
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-08-14 10:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is one of those rare posts - actually, they're not that rare the more I think about it - that you can just -2 without actually reading it.
Life is good.
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2004-08-14 10:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm...+2 for effort, -2 for content.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-08-14 07:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Jimmyisawesome (user info) at 2004-08-14 07:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
gay
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-14 06:59:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
crap
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-08-14 06:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
can you say teen angst? and not even a poem. Die already and decrease the surplus population
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-08-14 06:00:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Empires have risen and fallen in your absence,
I have changed more than once.
I have conquered fears and changed lives.
You said on the phone you miss me,
you did miss me,
but only by a day."
This part raised it from a 'don't bother' to a 'worth reading'.
This wasn't terrible.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-08-14 04:25:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, i don't know if it's te alchol, but that wasn't snappy. Sorry.
Submitted by Valhalla (user info) at 2004-08-14 04:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well...at least you were up front with its sappiness in the discription.