Festival of the Highlanders (751 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.6 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by cwl989 (View user info) at 2004-08-14 15:32:44 EDT
Yesterday I went to HighlandFest, a little carnival thing that happens once a year in my little town. It goes for three days, Friday through Sunday. It's a great time to get together with the boys, get fucked up, and cause trouble. After all, that's what life is all about.
I started the day by showing up at the festival alone, and trying to find my friend Tommy*. It isn't a large place, Highland Village, but I must have been wandering around for half an hour, looking like a lonely loser before I finally found them.
*http://www.ubersite.com/m/31453
When I found Tommy and the rest of the group, they were standing by a balloon stand, grabbing as many of the floating bundles of joy as they could. Weird, right? I sure thought so. But after they had all the balloons the vendors would give them, they ran across the street and behind a building, giggling madly. They then started sucking up helium like crack whores on a smack binge, squealing like a bunch of perverted Chipmunks. It was great fun.
After the balloon people figured out what we were doing with them, they refused to supply us with anymore helium. Bastards. After a few minutes of withdrawal, we were ready to go and find more adventure. A few blocks up, there were two Indian gentlemen playing a guitar and a flute. When we arrived, they jumped into "My Heart Will Go On", from the Titanic soundtrack. Hearing this, we immediately grabbed the nearest person we could find and demand that they slow dance with us. This resulted in us being escorted off the premise, but we were back within the hour. No silly rent-a-cop was going to keep us away.
At about six, three lady friends of mine showed up, Rina, Jess, and Kate. This lead me to completely ditch the guys to hang out with them. They only stayed for a while, but in that time they were all propositioned for sex at least three times. Guys, this is how you know that you should be hanging out with them.
When they left, I found the guys again and we went over to KFC for some late night satisfaction. Unfortunately, this was not to be. Jennie, one of "the guys" was leaping around like a drunk Catwoman, causing all manners of trouble, and Allison kept flashing people. It was nice, but after the 20th time, it got old. We got in there and ordered our food, but lo and behold, they screwed up my brother's order.
You should know some things about my brother, Gunboy. First of all, Gunboy is obviously his nickname. But no one really knows why that's his nickname. It just is. Most of his friends don't even know his real name. Secondly, he is an extremely volatile person. I mean, like sociopath volatile. Especially when he isn't sober, and be assured that he wasn't.
Gunboy had ordered two biscuits and two chicken strips. He loves his biscuits. So imagine his surprise when there was only one biscuit. He leaped up, knocking his chair to the floor, and stalked over to the cashier.
Gunboy: "THERE'S ONLY ONE FUCKING BISCUIT IN HERE! I ORDERDED TWO FUCKING BISCUITS! WHERE'S MY OTHER BISCUIT?!"
Cashier: "I'm sorry about that sir. If you'll just calm down, I'll get you ano-"
It was at this point that Gunboy whipped his biscuit at the cashier with all his might.
GB: "I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING EXCUSES! I WANT MY BISCUIT, BITCH!"
Long story short, we were all arrested for disorderly conduct. Gunboy spent the night in jail after for possession of Everclear and being extremely high. The rest of us were released and sent home. And now my fellow Uberer's, I must go.
I have to post bail for Gunboy.
User Reviews
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-15 22:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thumbs up.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41782
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-08-15 22:51:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Boy storm, that burns me. Really, it does.
Especially when it comes from a person with the worst possible rating.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2004-08-15 20:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
your mum also told me to wear a condom. now look what happened, a big fuck up like you.shame...
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-08-14 22:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by KieferSutherland (user info) at 2004-08-14 22:30:36 (#)
Ranking: 1
"Is the Highlander out of traction yet?"
-Frylock, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
------------------
I love that show.
Submitted by Kate at 2004-08-14 22:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Marauder...go eat some pancakes. It will make you feel better.
Submitted by KieferSutherland (user info) at 2004-08-14 22:30:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Is the Highlander out of traction yet?"
-Frylock, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-08-14 22:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=109252766057565253
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-08-14 22:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Marauder, did you just accuse me of being all those people? Good job on setting new standards in stupidity.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-14 15:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gunboy! Every group of guys needs this guy!