Story of the Shower Shitter (From a Different Point of View) (991 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.4 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jesh (View user info) at 2004-08-15 23:08:30 EDT
This is a true tale about my friend, Walter, and his roommates. It takes place in April, 2002...in their apartment, in Brooklyn.
They, the three roommates, Will (who for the sake of anonymity we will call "Well"), Walter, and Mike, had been living there for about 3 months. They thought the place was great. They said it was 'a steal of an apartment'.
This particular Friday night I was watching wrestling when I decided to go for a run. I passed the aformentioned apartment and remembered I was going partying with them.
While walking to their room after being buzzed in, I realized I'm all sweaty from running and need a shower. Before we all go out for drinking and debauchery I ask if I can use the shower.
"Sure," responds Walter, not knowing the Daria's Pyramid he is opening.
I took a towel of "Well"'s and proceed into the bathroom for some showery greatness.
After about two minutes in the shower I hear the apartment door open loudly. I guess they didn't
notice because they were watching a movie and playing a video game.
Right about now was when the shit hit the fan (pun definitely intended).
I went to let out this nice fart and...it was silent and didn't smell.
Back to the story.
I saw the doorknob to the shower turning. In walks my arch enemy.
I guess I should explain. I'm secretly a super hero, known as Super Wrestling Man, who saves NY from its villians. My arch enemy, who I was now looking at eye to brown eye, was a giant demon of shit. He was literally made of shit.
He jumped into the shower with me to duke it out.
He hit me with a left hook, right hook, uppercut, and a side splitter, leaving shit all over me. He was owning...
But he made a mistake by going behind me. BAM! I grasped around his neck behind me and fell to the ground. This traditional move left his head with nowhere to go but into my shoulder. The power knocked him on conscious.
I turned the water to its hot-test, hot-test heat. The shit demon was melting like the wicked douche of the white house.
"Oh, shit," I thought to myself. His melted remains were clogged up the bathtub, and only about half of him was down the drain. I attempted to unclog it, but that ended with me getting more shit on my body.
I tried to use "Well"'s towel to whipe the shit off of me, but to no avail. I didn't want to step in the shower, so I turned it off, turned on the sink, and commensed in washing the shit off of me with that water.
Since I couldn't reveal my identity as Super Wrestling Man, I came up with a story to explain to the apartment owners (and one of their girlfriends that was there). I reheared it for 20 minutes in front of the mirror.
"Um, guys, your shower shit on me," I say.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" they voice. I could tell they were already
in disbelief.
"Seriously," I explain, "Your shower shit on me. Shit came out of the shower head
and rained a shit-storm all over me."
They step into the bathroom for investigation.
"What the fuck is that?" "Well" questioned, looking at the tub filled with brownish-orangey lumps floating around.
"Looks like...rust," Walter replied.
The girlfriend poked it with a plunger...and everyone dashed out of the bathroom when they are smacked in the face with reality, "IT'S SHIT!!!!!"
They didn't say anything, but I doubt they believed me. Though, "Well" calls the landlord. The landlord inspects, asks me a few questions, and leaves. Walter begins to clean up the remains of my ex-arch enemy.
"Well", my now homosexual partner, still doesn't believe my tale, and asks me everytime he is drunk if I was shitting them.
Fuck you, "Well". I hope you have the fucking internet and find this.
Oh poo, I just remembered I forgot to clean "Well"'s towel.
Jesh.
User Reviews
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-10-24 14:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
found this today!
this tale based on:
Story of The Shower Shitter.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41570
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-16 08:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What goes around comes around.
Submitted by ofMontreal (user info) at 2004-08-16 01:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2004-08-15 23:48:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ooooh, so you're a superhero. OK, now this all makes perfect sense...?
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-08-15 23:24:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Parodies are fun.