God Damn You Christian Bastards! (1282 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.15 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bargled - "Teeth Like God's Shoeshine" (View user info) at 2004-08-16 17:24:34 EDT
Since my bed's been sold, I've had to sleep on the couch until I leave for college. I usually sleep until 9am (or until the baby cries and wakes everyone up) but today there was a loud knock on the door.
Mormons.
I flung open the door, wearing nothing but boxers, and they proceeded to talk.
"Blah blah blah god loves you blah blah blah book of mormon blah blah"
"No thanks, good day."
"take this book of mormon anyways."
So here I am with a Book of Mormon...what should I do with it? Pictures will be posted on Ubersite.
User Reviews
Submitted by Eric_Rice (user info) at 2004-10-17 14:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by equalizer (user info) at 2004-10-17 11:35:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Equalized!
Submitted by PringIes4eva (user info) at 2004-09-12 19:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I have your diary," I said. "And a rubber penis."
Submitted by Bargled <notloggedin...sueme> at 2004-08-17 02:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-08-16 22:13:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit you're one original guy!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/20432
____
It was more along the lines of a tribute.
Submitted by imsupermandamnit (user info) at 2004-08-16 22:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're all going to hell, you know that, right?
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-08-16 22:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit you're one original guy!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/20432
Submitted by Sacrew (user info) at 2004-08-16 22:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There's a great South Park episode on Mormonism.......
Submitted by ToxicNarcotic (user info) at 2004-08-16 21:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck you
p.s. mormons do suck
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-08-16 21:04:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jizz in it?
Submitted by PersonMan (user info) at 2004-08-16 20:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2004-08-16 20:06:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
I am a devout Mormon. Don't you dare desecrate that book.
-----------------------------------
All of a sudden this makes sense:
Giving Birth is Not Difficult, So Quit Milking it Ladies
Submitted by Vermin (View user info) at 2004-08-12 13:58:55
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2004-08-16 20:06:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am a devout Mormon. Don't you dare desecrate that book.
Submitted by PersonMan (user info) at 2004-08-16 19:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-08-16 19:54:06 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm sorry. I can't consider Mormons, Christians. They have their own book...THEIR OWN BOOK, DAMMIT.
But the book is about Christ...?
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-08-16 19:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm sorry. I can't consider Mormons, Christians. They have their own book...THEIR OWN BOOK, DAMMIT.
Here's what you do with this book: Offer it as a burnt offering. The Lord will find it pleasing, and you will be blessed. (NOTE: This will work better if you burn it in a Mormon church.)
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-16 19:52:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by I_Have_A_Kirsten_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:57:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
---
Cute... Bargled likes me so much that he made his second Fetish clone today.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-16 19:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mormons say that they are Christians. But Non-Mormon Protestants say that they are not. So everyone was right. :o)
Submitted by PersonMan (user info) at 2004-08-16 19:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think the problem is most of the missionaries (guys on bikes in suits) here in the states come from Utah. Most of the Mormons from other states end up out of the country. Things are different in Utah... sheltered. Mormons that haven't grown up in Utah are a lot less annoying.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-08-16 19:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the pages make really nifty tp...and the fact your wiping your arse with their "gospel" is an added bonus. If your a college student, extra tp is a good thing.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-08-16 18:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Read it. It's funnier than watching Michael Jackson try to get it up in front of a woman.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-08-16 18:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you read the book of Mormon backwards, there's Satanic Prayers in it.
Submitted by bush_lies (user info) at 2004-08-16 18:12:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck mormons.
you know they're book of mormon was literally read out of a hat from joseph smith the founder (sometime in the 1800's)? the religion is such a sham.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-16 18:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mormons are X-tians.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2004-08-16 18:00:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bargled is all grown up. Where are you going to school? And you have no reason to complain unless you have had some fucker call the mormon 1-800 number and they come to your dorm, DORM at 7 in the morning at a saturday.
Submitted by I_Have_A_Kirsten_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AvrilLaPete (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you my friend, are a grade A moron.
Submitted by FetishIl (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FetishII is just a pretend0r
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good thing you didn't log in RJ, because you're a fucking idiot.
http://www.jefflindsay.com/LDSFAQ/FQ_Christian.shtml#are
Submitted by FetishII (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That other FetishII is actually Bargled. He even cloned my alias, how lame.
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Read it, and get a hair cut.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-16 17:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just so you know.. dipshit.. Mormons aren't Christians. They're Mormons. There's a difference.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not really that endearing. But yeah, you should hollow it out and use it to store something ironic.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41480
Submitted by Fetishll (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you could have at least thought of a suggestion to go with your -2 you uncreative bastard
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Poopyhead
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"you put your weeeeed in there"
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-08-16 17:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
first suggestion: lay it in the toilet then take a dump on it.