BART, Check Your Email (Now I lay me down to sleep) (803 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: -0.43 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Vengeance is Mine Sayeth The Lord (View user info) at 2004-08-17 12:34:37 EDT
I have bitten the proverbial bullet - in the aftermath of my previous failures to get reinstated - I've stopped responding to my other users' posts, and emailed Bart, pleading like the little bitch that I am...
Can I PLEEEEZE come back as ETS?! I am a broken shell of a user now standing before your mighty wisdom...
I want to post again. I want to rate again as myself without looking at my current account and feeling like a complete ubernoob. I want to smell children laughing and see rainbows singing. I want to drive on the front page with the top rolled down and all the animals with big ears hanging out the side - flapping in the rushing wind! I want to see naked boobies! I want my own television talk show in which I interview the gorgeous actresses while fucking them in the ass before a live studio audience!
I want a lot of things...Most of these I could do for myself. I need help with the others. Bart, please help me restore my dissipated sense of self. Make my penis grow large with the excitement of telling me that I am now free to totally alienate people on my own terms and under my own account.
All these things I ask in Jebus' name. AMEN
User Reviews
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-06-09 13:11:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I am sincere about wanting my name..."
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It's Tina Turner!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-17 17:53:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-08-17 17:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just who the fuck do you think you are?
Malone
Lucifer Industries LLC
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-08-17 15:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry Degreeless, I am out of the vengeance business!
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-17 14:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, go here to sign the Ban Fetish petition, it already has seven signers.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41997
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-08-17 14:05:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
its just a website
you people are worse then a cult, I swear...
Submitted by Vengance (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:32:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is not cock swinging. I emailed him sincerly, and I have no stock in this account, so I thought I'd make light of the situation, that's all. I am sincere about wanting my name back, but I keep getting called names by everyone that are...ahem...not nice and question my manliness, so I posted this to demonstrate what the ultimate whiny post might sound like.
Timmah: Cause humans taste of chicken. Cannibals say that humans taste of chicken........good, I'm gald you're coming with me on that! My favorite sketch of his, (they're ALL genius BTW), is the one about the salmon I think on "Glorious" maybe, where God was assigning the mating habits to the animals and everybody got doggy-style except humans (who got every style) and salmon...."You salmon...you just piss me off!" FUCKING HILARIOUS!
I read one of your posts...not bad!
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm willing to bet that you won't get unbanned as long as you are posting under an alter. If you are posting this, then how are you banned? If you continue to post under this alter, I see no reason why Bart would lift the ban. Your communication should be directly with him, not on the open floor of Uber.
I have nothing personal against you, but Snuggles did the same thing and his "internet cock-swinging contest of the ages" ended with his, erm, tail tucked between his legs. The more you bulldog this, the more I fear you will get no response from Mr. Cilfone.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't think you can get to sleep without worrying about ubersite. Hell, compared to you, Fetish has a life.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi im crazy Eddie I put babies on spikes ! ohaaahooooo You wanna rack a baby ? We got babies on racks ! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm they...taste of chicken.
I say brin ETS back. A fan of eddie is deserving of a place at uber in my books
Submitted by Vengance (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:09:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I forgot, I also want to put babies on spikes!
Submitted by Vengance (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Makes me wish I had a "big fuckoff beard"!
Submitted by Vengance (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well remembered.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-08-17 12:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I want to drive on the front page with the top rolled down and all the animals with big ears hanging out the side
someone a fan of eddie izzard ?
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-08-17 12:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by dukkha (user info) at 2004-08-17 12:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You should be banned permanently just for posting this.