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Loren, a true writing prodigy. (2901 hits)

Category: Humor -> Dirty Humor

Rating: 0.62 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)

Submitted by Degreeless SUPERQUEEN (View user info) at 2004-08-17 13:09:14 EDT

Let me start out by saying that Loren's "I JUST burst into flames." (http://www.ubersite.com/m/28906) was one of the first posts I ever read (and remembered) and has kept me reading übersite, and eventually joining and posting shit ever since. So, you might say I might not be here without Loren, although I probably would, so don't hold it against her.

From here on, its hard to continue because everything Loren's ever introduced to the pages of ubersite has been pure genius. How am I to choose a few and ignore the rest? Well somebody's got to do it and that somebody is me.

First off, I'd like to highlight the "I like to do draurings" series, actually starting in the beginning of her career, and revived during her later years. http://www.ubersite.com/m/5241 & http://www.ubersite.com/m/5246, I like to do draurings 1 and 2, respectively. These two were the second and third posts that Loren has ever made and are quite the artwork. The first is a picture of her father and the second is a depiction of her infant nephew. The third "drauring" was posted on the same day as a negatively-rated entitled, "Bart unveiled?" (http://www.ubersite.com/m/5273). It was posted after a negatively-rated post, but the gods of Uber conspired to make her fellow uberers forgive her and rate it how it should be. http://www.ubersite.com/m/5265 was a rendering of a hand, most likely female. That's right, a dismembered hand. The fourth piece of artwork I found actually contained two canvas painting, one of a horse she had and one of a barn. They're both quite nice and the post got rated accordingly (http://www.ubersite.com/m/5471). The fifth post containing a piece of her artwork is my personal favorite, because it is so delicate. I cannot explain why this piece moves me so, maybe because one mistake and the egg is ruined. That's right, she painted an egg. Beautifully in "An Easter egg" (http://www.ubersite.com/m/6610). This post isn't exactly what I'd consider artwork, but I have to include it...just because. "For the love of monobrows" (http://www.ubersite.com/m/6744). Check it out. This next post is a tad different than the others, "Drauring - but not on paper" (http://www.ubersite.com/m/9068). In this gem, Loren extends her fine art from conventional methods to her masterful use of photoshop. This piece is true concentrated talent mixed with a pinch of genius. Next we have a pencil picture of Loren's best friend's eldest son, entitled simply "I like to do draurings" (http://www.ubersite.com/m/24172). This picture is simply terrific, and the child is the focal point of the next drauring. The eighth and latest addition to Loren's art gallery is entitled, "Drauring... #6? #7?" (http://www.ubersite.com/m/36385). This question is all a matter of opinion as to what a "drauring" is, but I say it is magnificent regardless the number. It is an artistic render of her previous drauring. Just go see it. I hope I didn't miss any draurings!

I also have to highlight a picture she took of another person's art. It's just that good. "What do you see here?" is the name of the post and http://www.ubersite.com/m/12435 is the link. For those of you with two minds, both in the gutter, you can go print it out and have some fun with it.

Loren is truly one of the better authors on ubersite, and has somehow amassed enough hits to be a MVA with a mere 88 posts. Loren is truly a spectacular piece of work, not looking too bad herself, http://stuff.ubersite.com/1044470548259417548/1/me3.jpg (props to Fetish for finding this for me). If I were a guy, I would pop a boner at that.

So, what else is there to say? I could take more posts and show how they're awesome, but in the end, what's the point? So I'm going to give her the highest honors I can possibly bestow. Show her in a GIF and write a haiku.

Loren - my idol
She can make my cherry pop
Please don't ever leave

Oh yeah, I just have to mention the question of whether or not Loren is a cunt. I can safely say she is, but she proudly wears the status symbol. I had a conversation with her and she ended up telling me something interesting, http://www.ubersite.com/m/41830#731019. And this Gif was actually pretty old, I'm not sure if I made it or my ex did, but enjoy it anyway. I spliced it in with my intro.

ill.gif (191 kB)

User Reviews

Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-27 16:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Umm yeah, she's cool and all, but...

Why the big ass tribute?

Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2004-08-19 13:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

-2 for hitwhoring

Submitted by 01011010 (user info) at 2004-08-18 23:18:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That GIF = +2.

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-18 12:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Oopth.

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-18 11:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Make that a fagot with 875 hits!

Submitted by KillAllFaggots (user info) at 2004-08-18 09:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

your gay and i wish you were dead i hate you and all faggots especially those damn chinks, gooks, and overall, i hate arabs they are dirty but algerians smell much worse

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-17 19:18:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

Did you ever doubt it?

Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-08-17 19:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

711 hits, you're awesome.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-08-17 16:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Loren looks like Cesar Romero as "The Joker".

Would I still do her? Probably.

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-17 16:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

LOLOL WTF KAI LETS BUTZECKZ LOL ROGLMFAO!

Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-08-17 16:16:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Loren sucks, so do you, so fuck off asswipe!

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-17 15:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Yeah, I'm pretty much a legend here on ubersite, in fact some question the existance of such a great writer. The truth of the matter is that I exist and I was molested by Queen Ashlee.

Submitted by Undeniable (user info) at 2004-08-17 15:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

wow, you actually exist

Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-08-17 15:43:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

The first post I ever read was "My J-Date Misadventure." That's what made me register and all that jazz.

Submitted by El_Weasel (user info) at 2004-08-17 15:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

moc moc a moc

Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2004-08-17 15:30:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You are queen of all that is HITWHORE

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-17 15:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Of course I do. If I'm giving. (HAR HAR PEENER!)

Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-08-17 15:06:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Loren doesn't like anal sex. Do YOU?

Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-08-17 14:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Loren is pretty damn good. Smurfs post "Bert and Ernie's Guide To Eroticism" is what made me register and start to post. I like his shit because he is so damn versatile.

Your linkwhoring worked, as you can see.

Submitted by dirty_gook (user info) at 2004-08-17 14:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I AM ABLE TO NOT LOG INTO ACCOUNT! PLEASE HELP MYSELF!

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-17 14:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Average rating of all messages: -0.09

That's right, bitches. One step closer.

Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-17 14:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I love Loren Woo!

Submitted by VaginaRavager (user info) at 2004-08-17 14:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Loren is a dude

Submitted by heater (user info) at 2004-08-17 14:11:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Not burned out. Just off in other realms bringing Heat to the hard-working indigenous people of...wherever.

Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-08-17 14:04:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

cute

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm gonna get all lez on her if she doesn't come into her own love post.

Submitted by Omnivexed (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I got the sense you were trying out to be her pimp, in which case kudos. Though you made
the slight mistake of hinting she's a lesbian so you should probably throw in another
girl for the same price, just in case.

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

Yeah, my ex is a cheapskate. I'm pretty sure he's the one who made it since it was addressed to me.

Submitted by Fellow3 (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:21:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

thats nice.

Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I think she'll require a larger rock to sacrafice her independance.

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-17 13:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Shit, I did a hurried job on the splicing and changing "Deanne" to "Loren".