Dinner With the Dead (537 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.62 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Boogiefevuh <cowpower.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-08-17 15:38:22 EDT
There I was, in an elaborately decorated dinner hall, with Lynn Ryan and Lance Corporal Phil Frank. Mrs. Ryan, or Aunt Lynn, had recently passed on August 7th due to an auto-immunity disorder with a name length that surpassed my recent memory. It began attacking her merely weeks after her husband, my uncle, had died. She had been fighting it for over six months when she finally found peace. She was 58.
Mr. Frank had passed exactly four months prior, when his company was serving in Fallujah. He served with the highest ranked platoon that was in Iraq at that time. He was their second highest ranking sharpshooter. His previous letters home to his sister indicated how he constantly suffered of nightmares, in which he would be shot in his left shoulder every time. In a firefight, he was hit by a stray bullet in his left shoulder. His artery was ruptured, and the internal bleeding couldn't be stopped. He was 20.
But none of this mattered now, for the three of us were having dinner. I didn't question the past, I simply accepted the present. We kept the eating to a minimum, for we had much catching up to do. This went on for what felt like hours. I couldn't understand a word that came from their mouths, and I myself was unable to speak. Yet somehow there was a mutual understanding. It was beautiful.
Without warning, the power in the hall went out. Not for long, a mere flicker. But on its return, they were gone. I was alone in a dark, forgotten dinner hall. The walls had begun to crumble years ago, abanadoned cobwebs dominated every corner and every decoration. I was in a place devoid of all color, all life, haunted by the echoes of what once exsisted there.
Again they were torn from me. Again I was alone. Again they never were. I fell to my knees and cried. I was torn between memories in which they made me smile, and visions of the horror of what their last moments truly could have been.
I left that place, knowing not when I would return. I knew I would, I knew I wouldn't.
User Reviews
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-09-06 16:32:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Love the concept. Throw in some dialogue next time.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-27 16:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Excellent writing. My only criticism is that you did not elaborate enough on both the setting and situation before the transition, and on the transition itself. The state change was a surprise, but did not pack the punch it would have if you had developed this into a short story.
Keep up the good work.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-27 16:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow, man
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-08-18 14:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, just in case anyone was wondering, this was based on a dream. The people, and descriptions of them, are entirely true.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-18 14:21:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-08-17 20:39:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good post.
Submitted by 2kool4skool (user info) at 2004-08-17 16:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woah, deep. Wish I understood it.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-08-17 15:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Um.....ok?
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-17 15:40:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! I had a similar experience in this post: http://www.ubersite.com/m/41997