The Duck (372 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.5 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JustCallMeMe (View user info) at 2004-08-17 15:40:09 EDT
In those seven days when god was making the world (if that's how it went), I think he lost focus when he was crafting the duck. The duck is one of those animals that no matter how hard one looks, it is impossible to find its purpose. I mean really, spiders kill insects, bees pollinate flowers, and fish eat fish. The duck though what the hell does a duck do. Seriously, is its only purpose to help control the bread population? All a duck does is sit on the beach, or dock or lake side waiting for stupid, old senior citizens to walk by and throw pieces of bread at them. Honestly, if we weren't here the duck wouldn't last a week. They have no way to get their own food, they can't protect them selves so what can they do.
Well let's take a look at what a duck can do.
Picture a duck trying to attack a fish or some other kind of small animal. If you're a fish and suddenly you see this fat green piece of shit flying at you, you might get a little scared. The fish wouldn't swim away just think to him self, "I better watch out for that huge piece of shit coming towards me". Then what happens when he realises it's a duck? You think the fish is going to say "Oh no a terrifying beast. I had better swim away before its razor sharp beak (what the fuck is a beak anyway) is going to kill me!?" Somehow I think not. The fish will probably laugh at the sheer stupidity of the animal. What kind of harm could that blunt, orange beak inflict on anything?
But to top it all off is the name, what the hell kind of name is duck! Just say it to yourself a few times.
DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK, DUCK.
Loses all meaning doesn't it.
User Reviews
Submitted by Undeniable (user info) at 2004-08-18 08:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quote: Random Joe
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"What is the purpose of the human? To populate the world? bullshit. We're here to keep the duck alive, and the duck is here so that we have a purpose. We are reliant on the duck, don't fuck with the duck. "
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LOL i suppose thats another way to look at it... the wrong way, but a way none-the-less
Submitted by RideJohnnyRide (user info) at 2004-08-17 18:59:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When my younger sister was little, everytime we saw ducks (or geese for that matter) she would chant "duck duck duck duck duck duck duck" over and over until someone smacked her upside the head.
what brain damage?
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals <dontwritesendmoney.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-08-17 17:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dude, one word.
Platypus.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-08-17 17:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ducks eat plankton i think. Or some pond equivalent.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-17 17:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is the purpose of the human? To populate the world? bullshit. We're here to keep the duck alive, and the duck is here so that we have a purpose. We are reliant on the duck, don't fuck with the duck.
Submitted by cutiepie (user info) at 2004-08-17 17:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was quite amusing.
Has anyone else noticed that Degreless is Hitwhoring?
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-17 15:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you copy that from this post, http://www.ubersite.com/m/41997?