Things Men Need to Know About Style (777 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Andy Barr <zanz38.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2002-08-07 06:29:09 EDT
Things Men Need to Know About Style
> 1. Yes, Homer Simpson is funny but not on your tie.
>
> 2. Only consider tucking your jumper into your jeans if you're a priest.
>
> 3. Getting your girlfriend to iron your jeans is unacceptable. Ironing
> them yourself is evidence of mental imbalance.
>
> 4. Unless you own a ranch or are a nutty President give the cowboy boots
> a big miss.
>
> 5. Pointy lace-up shoes make women dry retch.
>
> 6. Going bald? Shave it off for God's sake.
>
> 7. Never take your top off in public, unless you've just won Wimbledon.
>
> 8. Donald Duck socks do not reflect your individuality nor the wild side
> of your corporate facade. They do, however, mean your mother still
> dresses you, and you are a dick head.
>
> 9. Socks and sandals are lovely on Germans.
>
> 10. A jester hat does not a wacky man make.
>
> 11. Speedos are only acceptable on Olympic swimmers.
>
> 12. As are medallions.
>
> 13. And track suit tops and bottoms.
>
> 14. Do you have a grey, red and black asymmetrical doona? Freedom
> Furniture help line 1800 - GET A LIFE!
>
> 15. Open shirts:
> One button open = professional;
> Two buttons = casual;
> Three buttons = Confirmation you have Greek/Italian/Middle Eastern
> blood in your family tree.
>
16. Tight sleeveless muscle t-shirts are only ok if you're 17, can do
the-on-the-spot dance at the drop of a hat, and are a member of NSync.
17. Those fold-up scooters + middle thirties exec = f*ckwit on wheels.
> 18. Here's a startling fact guys: Lara Croft isn't real.
>
19. Is your definition of "new season shopping" buying your footy club's
new Jersey? Please seek professional help.
> 20. Unless you own a rap empire, leave the chunky gold bracelet and "ice"
> ring in the window of your local gaudy jewellery store where it can live a
> long and happy life and do no-one any harm.
>
> 21. You'll NEVER pull chicks if you put your mobile in the mobile phone
> pocket of your army camouflage pants.
>
> 22. Bleached blonde hair. If it doesn't work for Eddie Irvine, it sure
> as hell ain't going to do it for you.
>
>
>
> Things Women Need To Know About Style
>
> 1. Show more cleavage.
>
> 2. Wear shorter skirts.
User Reviews
Submitted by Zanz38 (user info) at 2002-08-07 06:53:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
here's another joke
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said,
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked
up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how
you are my hero." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and
returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The
man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his
pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took
the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful
princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why
won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't
have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."