Bart Gotti and the TardFellas (Pt. 2) (960 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.82 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by harmlessness (View user info) at 2004-08-18 20:52:57 EDT
NOTE: FETISH, THIS IS NOT INTENDED AS AN ATTACK TOWARDS YOU. PART 1 WAS WELL-RECIEVED AND I HAD FUN WRITING THIS SERIES!
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It was five o'clock in the morning, and Tim was just waking up when he heard a series of violent knocks on the oak door of his home. "Dammit, who could it be?" He walked down the eloquent wooden stairs, and opened the door. Tom stuck his hand out and greeted him with a quaint "Hello, Tim!"
"Yeah, who the fu--- Oh, hey Tom.. What's up?" He waved towards the inside of the house, motioning for Tom to come in. Tom daintily wiped his feet and stepped into the large foyer. "Wow, I haven't seen this house yet.."
"Oh? I just bought it last weekend. I got tired of the mansion, seeing as I don't have family. It was simply too big for me. I needed a golf cart to get from one end to the other, and it still took nearly a half hour!" Tim chuckled to himself, clearly proud of his astonishing wealth.
Tim walked towards the den with Tom following close behind. He took a seat on the large black leather chair in the center of the room. "Have a seat, Tom." Tom walked to the matching chair opposite of Tim's and sat down.
"Jeeves! Bring the box, please!" Moments later, a tall, well dressed man with thick white hair and a clean-shaven face walked into the room, seemingly struggling to carry the gold box. Tim outstretched his arms toward Jeeves, who handed him the box. He then pulled a small black device out of his pocket and pressed the red button. "bleep - click" and the box opened.
He pulled out a large stogie, tossed it to Tom, and pulled out another for himself. The tall butler accepted the box when Tim held it up for him to take, and walked away. Simultaneously, Tim and Tom pulled out a snip and a lighter, snipping off the ends of their respective stogies and lighting them carefully with their matching Zippos.
"So," Tom started, "what do we have for today?" He took a drag from his stogie, inhaled, then released the smoke.
"I got an inside tip that Gotti has a hit out on us," Tim sighed, "But I don't know why."
"I can't think of anything that we may have done." Tom replied.
"Nor can I, that's why I'm thinking it may not be him. It could be that filthy scumbag mercenary of his, Eric Feticci."
"I have a large penis."
Tim blinked in confusion. Tom got up and unzipped his pants, turned the other way, and began dancing around the room.
*Chi-Chick* The sound of a pistol being cocked resounded through the room and Tom stopped dead in his tracks..
(To Be Continued)
User Reviews
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-09-06 19:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/40455 - Lindsay Lohan completely fucking naked!
Submitted by AvrilLaPete (user info) at 2004-08-24 21:49:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-08-24 08:57:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It wasn't a bad one, but the sense of parody didn't really come out until the end.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-08-20 17:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your mind. You're out of it.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-08-18 22:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fetish is so silly.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-18 21:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-08-18 21:19:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-18 21:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm still feeling a -2.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-08-18 20:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41317 - Part 1
WHOOPS!
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2004-08-18 20:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Best ending ever.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-08-18 20:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am waiting for my part.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-08-18 20:57:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice post, however:
NOTE: FETISH, THIS IS NOT INTENDED AS AN ATTACK TOWARDS YOU. PART 1 WAS WELL-RECIEVED AND I HAD FUN WRITING THIS SERIES!
Single most helpless statement ever made on this entire website. Just give up; once you get a nerd going, he'll continue to open-fist slap you forever.