I am a piece of shit. (Or how I beat the hell out of a blind man) (1054 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.94 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by 218UCIO (View user info) at 2004-08-18 21:44:17 EDT
It all happened Saturday; I was near the movie theater, minding my own business, when this pitiful, gin-sodden, rancid fuckweasle WHEELCHAIR bum comes up to me and starts asking for "spare change, mister." When I politely refused his offers of depriving me of my cash, he starts getting all emotional and plays the over-used "I need to feed my family; please have mercy!" card. No way in hell, dumbfuck.
Guess what?
The asshole persists in asking me for money.
By now, I noticed that he was wearing these goofy-ass black glasses in an attempt to look 'cool'.
"Bitch. You think you're hot stuff in those shades?"
"What? Oh, no sir. I'm blind."
That's when I plowed my fist into his skull.
"You still blind, fucker?"
"Wha.. why'd you do dat?"
I could've sworn he had learned his lesson from all the blood that came gushing out of his nose, but apparently not.
"The fuck do you mean, 'why'd you do that?' Your dumbass was being disrespectful."
"Please have mercy!"
"There you go again. Someone oughta teach you some manners, dick-muncher."
With that, I tipped Blindy out of his chair and started beating the shit out of 'im!
"Nooo... please don't! Help me!"
He tried to crawl away.
"Get back here and take your medicine you little fucktard!"
I took his pointy thing that he uses to feel around and started crackin' skull! When I was done, the wankstain was a bloody heap, and there were cops *everywhere*.
"Jesus, what did you do?" asked one of the pigs.
"What does it look like, shithead? I was beatin' ass!"
"You're coming with me."
So here I am in jail, planning my escape. I hear that the hobo is in some hospital on the north side of town, and when I get out...
...I'm gonna KILL BILL! er... BLINDY!
User Reviews
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2004-08-19 17:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Shows that you're too much of a fucking pussy to be able to beat anyone up except defenseless bums. Why are you such a fucking dick? You get your ass raped too much by your dad? Fucking dumbass... "
Jesus Christ, you people must be retards. I wasn't serious or anything. God...
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-08-19 05:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-18 22:16:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
If you're going to write shenanigans, they might as well be funny. I rated this post accordingly.
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ditto.
linkwhore attack!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/42196 - Fabulous prizes AND titties!
Submitted by ValakasDemon (user info) at 2004-08-19 00:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shows that you're too much of a fucking pussy to be able to beat anyone up except defenseless bums. Why are you such a fucking dick? You get your ass raped too much by your dad? Fucking dumbass...
Submitted by Evil_Morg (user info) at 2004-08-19 00:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
what? they put you in jail for beating up some blind cripple? what is the world coming to?
Submitted by Kellio (user info) at 2004-08-18 23:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope the thug who rapes you in jail posts a story about it on Uber.
Submitted by vajokki (user info) at 2004-08-18 23:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG LOL!!!111
Just kidding.
Lame.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-08-18 22:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, you're cool.
No, really.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-08-18 22:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've given a lot of -2's to -2 this far...
Submitted by punchdrunk (user info) at 2004-08-18 22:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2004-08-18 22:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Had its moments
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-18 22:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you're going to write shenanigans, they might as well be funny. I rated this post accordingly.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2004-08-18 22:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-18 22:05:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
I was going to just -2 you out of spite, but it turns out I don't have to. This fucking sucks.
Give your hand a rest and go fuck a kangaroo.
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Man, are you blind? This is gold!
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-18 22:05:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was going to just -2 you out of spite, but it turns out I don't have to. This fucking sucks.
Give your hand a rest and go fuck a kangaroo.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-08-18 21:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-08-18 21:58:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Violence = "0".
Violence against INNOCENT PEOPLE = "+2"!!!!
Submitted by spinningaroundme (user info) at 2004-08-18 21:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
just no
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-08-18 21:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Pitiful.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2004-08-18 21:48:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That fucker deserved it!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-18 21:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
asshole