Kebabs. What's up with that? (622 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.2 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ancius (View user info) at 2004-08-19 11:34:53 EDT
What the hell is it about kebabs that makes them seem like a great idea when your drunk, and less appealing than licking the sweat out of a pigs anus when your sober?
I mean, alcohol makes you do stupid things anyway, but eating several shaved pieces of dog/rat/miscellaneous meat wrapped in a pita bread has to be among one of the dumbest. Yet everybody does it! I have seen women who obviously care a great deal about the way they present themselves to the world scarfing these things down on the street like animals! I have even been witness to someone giving up vegetarianism to eat one. And if you notice, the day after the night before, any kebabs that have been dropped on the street by someone too pissed to hold onto them have not been touched. That means not even RATS eat that shit!
Kebabs are the temptation of Satan. I know this, because only the devil could make my ass feel like it's had a JCB rammed up it the morning after. I'm not talking about normal indigestion, I'm talking about something has crawled up there and had a huge party without telling me, and then taken an overdose and died.
What is it about beer that makes these things so appealing?
6pm: "hmmm, I'm hungry, think I might go home and make myself some of those lamb chops with roast potatoes and gravy. Mmmmm."
6.30pm: "Dan, fancy coming for a couple of pints? Damian's brought his 18 year old girlfriend out again for us to laugh at"
"yeah okay"
7.00pm: "Jesus, that went down faster than a cheap hooker"
" So you'd know that then?"
"Fuck off"
9.00pm: "So you spit roasted her?"
"Most of the time yeah"
"MOST of the time?"
"Fuck off"
11.00pm: "Shut the fuck up you ass!"
"HEY! Get your fucking hair out of my pint!"
"Flrrrrrble"
"Fuck off"
11.30pm: " you know what I feel like right now? I feel like stuffing myself with 2 pounds of rancid dogmeat and shitting out my small intestine in the morning"
"sounds like a plan to me!"
And no matter how bad they make us feel in the morning, no matter how much our body protests that we must never, never, ever violate it in that way again on pain of excommunication, Everybody always ends up getting shit faced and doing it again.
And again
And again.
Kebabs. Gods way of laughing his ass off at pissed people.
User Reviews
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-19 12:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought a kebab was meat on a stick... not in a pita. One of us is confused.
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2004-08-19 12:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think they are nice even when sober. But of course especially when drunk. But then what isn't?
Submitted by RateBot (user info) at 2004-08-19 12:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-08-19 11:51:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-08-19 11:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this though I have no idea what a kebob is.
Submitted by Philst82 (user info) at 2004-08-19 11:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
have a +2 for this
"I'm not talking about normal indigestion, I'm talking about something has crawled up there and had a huge party without telling me, and then taken an overdose and died."