SPT-Don't trust the brownies. (865 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.23 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by I typed this with my penis (View user info) at 2004-08-19 15:49:37 EDT
Rob pulled the thermometer out of his mouth. 102.4. Christ Almighty. He sure as hell wasn't getting any better sitting around, but his mother insisted that he stay in the house. She had just left for work, leaving Rob home alone. He contemplated the idea of going out, maybe going over to his girlfriend's house. He wondered if she'd give him a chewie, even though his cock was searing like a fire poker. He decided to risk it, and went upstairs to get dressed.
His throat was sore as all hell, but he grabbed a cigarette for the walk. He opened to door and stepped outside, when something caught his eye. It was a package, propped up against the side of the house. He picked it up and read the message.
"Hey babe, made some brownies for you. I also taped a couple episodes of the Simpsons for you to watch. I hope you feel better!
Love, Stacey.
P.S. My family and I went to my grandma's house today. I'll try and see you tomorrow!"
Rob was disappointed for a second, but decided that sitting around eating brownies watching his favorite TV show would suffice for today. Besides, he had only walked out the door and was already feeling light-headed. He made his way back inside.
He ripped open the package and helped himself to a brownie. They were scrum-diddly-uptious! God, how Rob loved her. She was always caring, thinking about him before she thought about herself. He really regretted the one time he cheated on her, with that hot Italian chick at Frank's party. He never had the guts to confess it to Stacey, but he was pretty sure she had never found out. He was never unfaithful again, and it had been nearly seven months since that whole fiasco. All was well now.
The brownies were so good that he almost forgot about the tape at the bottom of the package. He grabbed the tape and the rest of the brownies and made his way over to the couch. He popped in the tape and turned on the TV. It was his favorite episode, the one with Frank Grimes. Damn, she's a genius, Rob thought. Maybe when he recovered he would eat her out, just to show his appreciation. He took a bite of a brownie and closed his eyes, and thought of her long, smooth legs wrapped around his neck, as he diligently lapped at her vagina. He could almost hear her moaning...
But the Rob realized he did hear moaning, only it wasn't the pleasing, orgasmic moan he was fantasizing. It was a rugged, masculine sigh of pleasure. Rob's eyes darted to the TV screen. He saw a man's face, looking downward, muttering the likes of, "Ohhhh, oh yeah." Rob began to laugh with glee, thinking Stacey must have taped over a porn flick. He watched intently, wondering what the girl looked like. The camera panned downward, and he caught a glimpse of her face. Strange, he thought, she has the uncanniest resemblance to Stacey.
Rob's heart sank. He could feel it clogging his rectum.
He frantically searched for the remote, but the sounds off slurping and moaning echoing in his mind were driving him crazy. His eyes went back to the TV screen, horrified with what he saw next. Stacey's beautiful lips pulled away from the erect penis, and she moved herself to a nearby table, with the camera following her. She lowered her head and spat the bodily fluids into a bowl. The camera then zoomed towards the bowl, to reveal a dark brown batter.
Rob vomited instantly.
She had found out.
And she knew he hated brownies with nuts.
User Reviews
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish_ (user info) at 2004-08-24 23:19:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by notwelcomehurr (user info) at 2004-08-22 03:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no comment
Submitted by Pooz (user info) at 2004-08-22 03:22:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-22 00:04:44 (#)
Ranking: -2
Feed shit and die.
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-19 22:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So that's where he got it from. Oh well, I tried to make it interesting.
Submitted by Jarvis (user info) at 2004-08-19 22:30:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I've read this almost exact same story before but I read it at http://www.bash.org/?105353
Submitted by RateBot (user info) at 2004-08-19 21:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-08-19 20:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for the story
-1 for SPT
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-19 18:52:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the good ratings.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-08-19 18:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I giggled like a schoolgirl.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-08-19 18:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
HABEEEEEEEEB!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/42295
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2004-08-19 18:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yum
Submitted by capnjacko (user info) at 2004-08-19 18:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
effin sweeeet
Submitted by disAbled (user info) at 2004-08-19 17:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by whiskeyjack (user info) at 2004-08-19 16:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hilarious, had brownies and porn!!!! what more is there
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-19 16:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I actually heard this story from a friend of mine, he told it to me as if it happened to his friend. It sounded like shenanies to me, but I decided to post it because I thought it was funny.
Submitted by Cymak (user info) at 2004-08-19 16:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nuts do suck.
What?
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-08-19 16:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whether or not its the oldest story in the book, it was well done.
+2
Espo
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-08-19 16:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! That's a new one to me.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-08-19 16:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-08-19 15:53:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
Oldest story in the book.
Submitted by l-ryd (user info) at 2004-08-19 16:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
man thats evil
funny read though!
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-08-19 16:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Long and skinny? Paint it silver and call it a kickstand?
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-19 16:02:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wasn't sure if any one had heard this story before, spedmonkey, which is why I saved it for SPT. I did add a few things myself, but I guess it wasn't good enough.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-08-19 16:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-08-19 15:53:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
Oldest story in the book.
--------------------------------------------------------------
If this is the oldest story in the book and I haven't read it, you definitely get a +2 from me.
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-08-19 15:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
love the name too, but i actually did read it. payback's a bitch.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-19 15:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to go back and read this.
Auto +2 for your name.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-08-19 15:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oldest story in the book.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2004-08-19 15:51:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haven't read it yet, but your name is good enough for a +2.