Evil Morg’s 3 easy steps to making your life better (and mine) (426 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.8 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Morg Evil <morgan_routledge.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-08-20 17:39:12 EDT
Looking over some of the post on this site, I see that there are people out there that need help; my help. The goal of this post is reduce people whining about how crappy their life is by showing them simple ways to make life better.
Stop Watching TV
Stop saying nothing on and just turn the damn thing off. You won't ever know just how dumb TV is until you stop watching it for a year or two. I didn't watch TV for like a year then someone tried to show me "Survivor" and I almost stabbed the guy in the face. Your time could be better spent doing just about anything. Try reading or hiking or putting your head in oven, its still better then zombie like programming Fox has prepared for you.
Stop Eating Macdonald's:
You are too fat. Don't believe me? Ask your dad (your mom will just tell you its what's inside that counts or some other crap). Stop eating fast food. This is easiest thing to do; you'll feel better and have more money. Also you'll stop contributing to the huge fucking empire they built on making people fat. (There are 5 (FIVE) McDonald's on my way to work)
Stop Listing to Rap:
This just speaks for its self. Its not music, they are not "artists" and your not from Compton. Also stop listing to "Top 40" pop music; Anything that makes it on the top 40 is just sellout corporate bullshit (the odd real artist makes it on there every now and then). Before you have the right to say music is good or bad you need to play an instrument or be in a band for a few years. Without this understand your option is meaningless.
There you have it. 3 simple ways you can make everyone's life better. I guaranty* one million dollars (1,000,000.00 $$$) that if you follow this guide, you will live longer, be happier, and smell better. One last thing, do something. ANYTHING. Just don't sit there doing that.
*Payment will be made after time of death, in the form a personal check slipped into your casket before its lowered into the earth.
User Reviews
Submitted by RateBot (user info) at 2004-08-21 02:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your only pretending to rebel because it socially fashionable
Submitted by Evil_Morg (user info) at 2004-08-21 02:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-08-20 18:08:02 (#)
Ranking: -1
You're not very good with English, are you?
On ths* plus side, I don't think I've ever met anyone who "lists" to Rap. That's gotta** be good, right?
*I think you mean " this "
** did you mean to use the two words got and to?
You know, you are so right. I made a typo!! The one word out of 365 words in my rant is misspelled. I can see how it makes everything I just wrote completely invalided!! My god I'm a fucking moron.
Ha ha ha. So what's the matter Avals? That English degree not carrying as much respect as you thought it would? Yeah, that's right you dolt, this post was for people just like you. Fucking fatass, move out of your parents basement and do something with your life. Or gain another 200 lbs and die choking on a turkey sand wedge but whatever you do, STUF.
And to anyone else that wants to rate my post, I don't give a fuck what my rating is. I not Avals here, that's going to cry his ass to sleep when people give him a -2 on a post. If you're going to mark me down GOOD. Disagree with me, but explain why. Also expect any response that I give to be relevant, intelligent and objective. REMEMBER, I hunt dumbshits like Avals for sport.
Be strong, be wrong.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2004-08-20 23:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow that was insightful
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-20 23:01:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm 3 for 3.
Submitted by God at 2004-08-20 18:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-08-20 18:08:02 (#)
Ranking: -1
You're not very good with English, are you?
On ths plus side, I don't think I've ever met anyone who "lists" to Rap. That's gotta be good, right?
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^ Obviously a fat fuck McDonald's muncher who does fuck all but watch TV all day. Shut up you twat.
As for the original post. Great advice!
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-08-20 18:08:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You're not very good with English, are you?
On ths plus side, I don't think I've ever met anyone who "lists" to Rap. That's gotta be good, right?
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-08-20 17:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
surprisingly good. i agree with all 3 points