Kevin Mitnick and my shoulder: happily ever after (1269 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetRating: 1.42 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by prophet (View user info) at 2004-08-21 17:35:22 EDT
This is a little tale of the recent ongoings in my life. If you've arrived here hoping for something else and you just don't like me (ahem... Fetish), be a sport and go read something else instead of giving me the -2 based on my username. That's just teh ghey.
So anyways, real recent-like I was called down to San Jose to direct a series of Network Security Challenges (a hacking lab) at the National Youth Leadership Forum of 2004. Basically, it's a program for aspiring computer geeks in high school who come together to discuss computer technology and view presentations by various corporations and computer-oriented celebrities. I have ALWAYS loved doing this... mostly because I get a free stay at a five star hotel for a week and a half, meals and transportation included, but also because I've gotten to meet tons of interesting people- the CEOs of Intel and Cisco, founder of Dell computers Michael Dell, and this year, Steve Wozniak and KEVIN MITNICK. What I provide in return is the setup and maintenance of three servers and thirty-five workstations at which kids sit down and hack to their delight.
See, meeting Kevin was a big deal for me. Real big. When I was a wee lad, burgeoning in my computar skillz at the tender age of twelve, I had been following his saga as it developed- his legendary hacks, how he hid from the American government in other countries, his arrest, and the resulting tumult in the hacker community largely spurred on by the editor of "2600: the Hacker Quarterly"- Emmanuel Goldstein. To me, he was a hacking God.
Since then, I've been suspended twice from High School on computer-related incidents, and later developed a successful career consulting in the field of Network Security. Which brings us to my recent excursion, working for the largest corporation in its field- also hailed as being among the top 50 "Best Small & Medium Companies to Work for in America" by the Society for Human Resource Management. This award goes to companies with 50 to 999 employees- keep in mind that the majority of companies in the US fall into this category.
So on the evening before Mitnick's speech, which I was looking forward to for obvious reasons, I'm chilling in the lab, tweaking the challenges I wrote and making sure that the kids didn't fuck up any of the machines during that day. Curfew for the students had passed, so it was just me, Jill, and Kristyn- two girls working in other various capacities for the conference who had decided to chill in the lab that night and try to beat the challenges. They were busy during the day, so after curfew was the best opportunity for them to get their hack on.
And then, out of nowhere, it happened. The door opens. In walks Daniel, the director of the conference. He runs the show. Trailing behind him was a face that at first just seemed vaguely familiar... but then recognition kicked in and I realized it was the Man Himself. Plastered on my face is a look of shock as Daniel says, "Since you're running the Network Security challenges, I thought you'd like to meet my friend here. His name is Kevin."
"I damn well know who he is, thank you very much," is what I would have said if he wasn't my boss. Instead I stood, jaw gaping, for a moment while I gathered my senses. Right about the time Kevin cocked his head wondering if I was mute or just retarded, I managed to gather the mental faculties to blurt out, "Kevin! Great to meet you, I've always been a big fan."
We talked for about fifteen minutes or so, a little bit about his history, and a little bit about what I was doing for the Forum, but I really don't remember the details because I was in a euphoric high. Afterwards, he hands me a business-card CD and says, "This might be of interest to you- get it back to me tomorrow at my speech." (It turned out to be some Windows and Unix h4x0r toolz.) He heads out to get some rest, and the five of us (two other guys working with the Forum happened to come by to see me, and were shocked to see Kevin there) were left in a stunned silence.
For about three seconds.
Then Jill pipes up, "I _can't_ believe we just met Kevin Mitnick!" and starts bouncing off the walls. We were all pretty freakin excited. Jill is really cute when she gets excited, though, because she gets all hyper like she just had fifteen cups of double espresso latte.
Well, of course nobody would believe me, so I got a picture while he was there. And, as if by an act of God, at that very opportune moment did Kevin's hand decide to make the fateful move to rest upon my unworthy shoulder. I tried to hide the convulsing orgasm, but I think Jill knew. She didn't say anything because she knew she'd have done the same.
I won't go on to tell you all about the rest of the conference, but I will mention that I was also Kevin's volunteer the next day, where he demonstrated to the 1,600 students present how one could obtain a list of addresses and phone numbers, previous and present, and the social security number, using only the name and state of residence of the person in question. As my most intimate personal details flashed on screen, so did a bunch of cameras in the audience. Later I found my social written down on a scrap of paper with other details from the speech in the lab. I can only assume it wasn't the only copy floating around. Before leaving the stage, Kevin once again touched me- this time on the hand in a shaking fashion, but easily just as erotic- and left me with a DVD copy of "Freedom Downtime" (the story of his capture and imprisonment) and an autograph in the copy of his book, "The Art of Deception", which I had the foresight to bring.
Yes, it's all true. It all happened. If you'd like to hear more on Mitnick and his awesomeness, check out www.freekevin.com and www.takedown.com. Finally, some pictoral evidence (keeping in mind that you don't have to be attractive to score with geek honeys if you got teh mad computar skillz):
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:34:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
counter deuce against ProgramGeek
Submitted by ProgramGeek (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Purple Monkey Semen.
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2005-06-18 18:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by poorfit (user info) at 2004-08-26 23:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-23 00:23:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
Since there are so many hot chicks on Ubersite, I figured I'd post a more recent pic (having lost weight recently).
Here's one I took tonight. Hope you beautiful ladies approve. And Fetish.
http://alt.sphereunlimited.com/22Aug2004.jpg
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Though the server that I put that image on is usually more reliable and always faster, it crapped out today for some reason. I'm trying to get in touch with the admin to find out what's up.
In the mean time, if you _really_ want to see the new pic and CAN'T reach it here:
http://alt.sphereunlimited.com/22Aug2004.jpg
I have mirrored it here:
http://direct.sphereunlimited.com:4000/22Aug2004.jpg
But keep in mind that the mirror is slower.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-23 01:54:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sweet deal
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-23 00:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Since there are so many hot chicks on Ubersite, I figured I'd post a more recent pic (having lost weight recently).
Here's one I took tonight. Hope you beautiful ladies approve. And Fetish.
http://alt.sphereunlimited.com/22Aug2004.jpg
Submitted by pantsless (user info) at 2004-08-22 22:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i dont know who that is but +2 for everyone getting your social security #
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-22 22:28:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd like to add that I've lost 15 lbs since that picture was taken =D
Go me woo!!
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-22 22:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-22 17:57:22 (#)
Ranking: 1
are you single?
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Yeah, but I don't really do the whole "exclusive relationship" thing.
Though I'm open to the possibility of an exclusive relationship with a girl I've dated for a while, most of the girls I've dated for a while aren't the type I'd want to tie myself down to for any length of time.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-22 17:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
are you single?
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-22 17:01:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-08-22 12:30:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
railing on and on about "meeting a boy"..and "he put is hand on my shoulder".
Its cool that you met an hero and all, but jesus do you have to be such a fucking nerd about it?
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Yes.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2004-08-22 15:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
All the hackers become Network Security Consultants and all the juvenile deliquents become Cops.
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2004-08-22 15:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck is with all the random -2's?
Submitted by Gizmo (user info) at 2004-08-22 14:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-08-22 12:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
railing on and on about "meeting a boy"..and "he put is hand on my shoulder".
Its cool that you met an hero and all, but jesus do you have to be such a fucking nerd about it?
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-22 01:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-08-22 00:44:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
wow, I didn't realize one person could be so fucking stupid.
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The fuck was that about?
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-08-22 00:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow, I didn't realize one person could be so fucking stupid.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-08-21 22:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Pooz (user info) at 2004-08-21 19:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dam right I did. I'll go give you a few more.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-21 19:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Pooz (user info) at 2004-08-21 19:35:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
I"LL SHOW YOU ASS HAT!!1!
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Spamming all my posts with -2s. You sure proved your worth.
Submitted by Pooz (user info) at 2004-08-21 19:35:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I"LL SHOW YOU ASS HAT!!1!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-21 18:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The rating is the average of all ratings by that user count as one rating.
In other words: A +1 and a +2 from the same person count as a single 1.5.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-21 18:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-08-21 18:19:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, im going to +2 this to counteract the internet hairpulling that goes on.
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Thanks for the love, man.
I've heard that only one vote counts. Does anyone know which one? I imagine it'd either be the first vote or the highest... but I may have heard somewhere that multiple +2s count. I really have no idea.
Oh, and Fetish- I let you take that picture in confidence, man. No more butt sex for you.
Submitted by Pacifist248 (user info) at 2004-08-21 18:22:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"...and the resulting tumult in the hacker community largely spurred on by the editor of "2600: the Hacker Quarterly"- Emmanuel Goldstein."
I bet his real name is O'Brien.
HA!
I can't say I've followed much on Mitnick, but...uh..free Lamo?
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-08-21 18:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, im going to +2 this to counteract the internet hairpulling that goes on.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-21 18:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The real NetProphet: http://www.ubersite.com/m/42498
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-08-21 18:14:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your eyes look glazed... are you a zombie?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-08-21 18:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i got published in 2600 once. nice to know there are other 2600 readers on Ubersite.
oh, and if you haven't seen "Takedown", you need to see it. it's one of my favorite movies.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-21 18:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by dirty_gook (user info) at 2004-08-21 17:55:01 (#)
Ranking: 1
Munkeypants told me that she'd give me 5 pieces of pez candy if I link my post to all the posts.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/42478
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Jesus, if you're going to shamelessly linkwhore on my post, the least you could do is give it a +2.
Ass.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-21 17:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you dude, I used to read alot about that guy too.
Submitted by dirty_gook (user info) at 2004-08-21 17:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Munkeypants told me that she'd give me 5 pieces of pez candy if I link my post to all the posts.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/42478
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-21 17:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-21 17:43:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
Got to love how you give my posts a -2 no later than five minutes after they go up.
Suck a dick, Fetish.
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Thanks, but no thanks... I would suck the piss out of Jill though...
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-21 17:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Got to love how you give my posts a -2 no later than five minutes after they go up.
Suck a dick, Fetish.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-21 17:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Good work, douchebag.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-21 17:37:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The above story is one-hundred percent unfabricated.
You can see the semen stain on the front of my jeans.