Sexual Inadequacy? Bah! (1065 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.65 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sketch9 (View user info) at 2004-08-22 18:45:26 EDT
While reading Kristen's account of how "mind blowing" her G-spot orgasm was ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/42247 ), and then perusing the comments, something occured to me: Why do guys bother with pleasuring women? Keifer put it best: a penis is for the mans pleasure, not a womans. Lets face it, guys have a cock thats all loaded with nerve endings to pleasure themselves. If it was for, say, giving women a mind blowing orgasm, then there would be no need for us to have any feeling in it at all. Now some of you crazy feminists are going to say "Well, men expect women to use their vaginas for pleasuring men, and we can do it well, so I think men should learn to pleasure women with their respect penises (peni? im not sure)".
I have one response to this: you're absofuckinglutely wrong. Most women arent even that great at sex. Shit, it's not like you even have to try. Women lay back and let the fucking begin. Men do the work. Women dont even have to be good at it. Thats why we've taken to fucking our hands, assholes, goats, bagels, and the obligatory pocket pussy. We dont really need women to pleasure us. We just need a tight warm space to stick it. We dont have a penis to pleasure women, we have it to pleasure ourselves. Granted, we really honestly have it for procreation, and the need to procreate is so great that our bodies built in the pleasure of having sex to encourage procreation, but we're going to use our penises for the pleasure alone.
So what then? Stop having sex with women? No, no, thats not the answer at all. Im just saying that men should not be expected to create such a situation every time they have sex. If you can do it, great, if you cant, why worry about it? And if she doesnt get off? Big fucking deal. You did, didnt you? Her not getting off is not your problem.
You have sex for the feeling, right? Therefore, if you get off, that sexual activity should then be labelled a success. You dont owe her anything because she wasnt able to work herself up to an orgasm. An orgasm is a choice, and you have complete control over it in your mind.
Lets put it this way: you're on a teeter totter. A see saw. Whatever you happen to call it. So you do what you're supposed to, push down with your legs. You go up, WHEEEE, you're having fun. The person sitting across from you doesnt do shit. Just sits there. You come back down, but because they didnt push down, you dont go all the way back down. You get off the see saw, pretty happy with yourself. You had fun. They say they didnt. Is that your problem? No. They didnt do what they needed to to have fun. It is their responsibility to pleasure themselves.
Its the same with sex. They need to put in the same amount of effort. A female orgasm should not, and is not, the male's duty or obligation. It's your vagina, you deal with it.
So guys, dont worry about if you're not great in the sack, cuz face the reality: she really sucked. You were good enough to get one person off, and thats all you should really have to worry about.
End Transmission.
User Reviews
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-08-23 17:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
everyone's misunderstanding this... well, not everyone, just a few of you. Im not saying that you shouldnt have any experience. Im not saying that you should put no effort into it at all. All im saying is that relying entirely on the male to deliver the pleasure to both users is wrong.
All i said was you have to put some in to get some out.
Submitted by WTF? at 2004-08-23 10:33:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I feel sorry for you as you've obviously never been
laid by a chick who was actually into sleeping with you...
and the fact that only a retard would sleep with a man entirely
concerned about his own pleasure, not his partners.
Oh, and another thing, I do myself better than any man's ever
done me so fuck you my man, we don't need you either.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-08-23 10:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I sort of agree with Rob... For me, it doesn't count as great sex if the woman doesn't have a great time with it too. However, I was with a woman once who just wanted to lay there and do nothing. I don't think she moved once during the entire thing; she just lay there and made these funny little noises.
Submitted by lrw (user info) at 2004-08-23 10:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-08-23 09:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by PersonMan (user info) at 2004-08-22 23:38:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
"If you stare at these things long enough you're supposed to see some kind of hidden, three-dimensional picture."
"Oh yeah, look it's a sailboat!"
"You saw it, too? Dammit!"
Its not a sailboat you idiot. Its a schooner.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-08-23 09:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay <password> at 2004-08-23 09:11:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But surely if you go around failing to please women, they'll choose someone who can.
Submitted by veins_of_glass (user info) at 2004-08-23 08:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude..thats so gay.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-23 08:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
gospel
Submitted by Rob <Robnepal.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-08-23 04:13:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not going a break a +2 rush, but I can say from experience that the act of throwing a couple of ropey jets of jism around is not what constitutes a mind-blowing sexual experience. Coming simultaneously with a woman who you're besotted with while staring eye-to-eye, foreheads and noses pressed together, limbs intertwined in such away that you couldn't be touching any more skin is unbeliveable. Obviously this doesn't describe every sexual experience I've ever had, but there honestly is a type of orgasm where you feel like the two of you are fusing into one body, mind, whatever. And it is good.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2004-08-22 23:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the illusion. That is awesome. If you look at it long enough, you can tell that all the non-shadow 'black' squares are the same color as the shadowed 'white' squares.
Submitted by PersonMan (user info) at 2004-08-22 23:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"If you stare at these things long enough you're supposed to see some kind of hidden, three-dimensional picture."
"Oh yeah, look it's a sailboat!"
"You saw it, too? Dammit!"
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-08-22 23:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 because I just checked to see whether those colours were the same.
And they were.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-22 22:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kristen, marry me?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-22 22:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-08-22 18:58:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
*Thats why we've taken to fucking our hands, assholes, goats, bagels, and the obligatory pocket pussy. We dont really need women to pleasure us.*
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Ok, but you have to admit that vaginas still feel better. I mean, I have all the gadgets with bells and whistles, and yet I still nothing beats feeling full of man. And believe me, I've tried to replicate it bu sticking a condom on a vibrator and covering the whole deal with KY Warming Liquid...just not the same.
Submitted by pantsless (user info) at 2004-08-22 21:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
right on the money
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-08-22 21:04:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:42:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm calling shenanigans on your sexual experience. Girls don't lay back. Everyone knows girls go on top because that's the easiest way for her to orgasm, derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
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I'm not kidding. The three girls I've had sex with were mostly passive in bed.
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:59:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:42:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:35:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's true.
For some reason I've always found that the girl lies back and sees what you have to offer.
Lazy bitches.
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I'm calling shenanigans on your sexual experience. Girls don't lay back. Everyone knows girls go on top because that's the easiest way for her to orgasm, derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
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bullshit bullshit bullshit. shall i say it again? i think not, because i hope that you are joking.
not everyone likes the same things. a few weeks ago i was drunk and was having sex (or trying to rather). things were going great, until i got a little tired and wanted a rest. so i asked her to get on top for a while. not more than five minutes like that she had dried up faster than a sponge in the middle of a desert at high noon.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've never met a Vaginian that didn't have a thick accent or a glandular problem.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually loaded the image into Fireworks to see what the hex values for the colors were- they both came up as #6B6B6B.
Unbelievable.
Great post!
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:35:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's true.
For some reason I've always found that the girl lies back and sees what you have to offer.
Lazy bitches.
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I'm calling shenanigans on your sexual experience. Girls don't lay back. Everyone knows girls go on top because that's the easiest way for her to orgasm, derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:35:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's true.
For some reason I've always found that the girl lies back and sees what you have to offer.
Lazy bitches.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:34:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And those squares are not the same fucking shade of gray. Bullshit, I say!
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfect!
FUCK YEAH, WOOO!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Pooz (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2004-08-22 20:25:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is true but that optical illusion is bullshit
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-08-22 19:31:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice. I'm afraid of vaginas.
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-08-22 19:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, im not saying that there's anything better than the feeling of a nice vagina. Dont get me wrong, ill take a vagina over damn near anything, but the performance anxiety that comes with it i could do without.
Submitted by ColonelAngus (user info) at 2004-08-22 19:01:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 just for the teeter-totter anecdote. Good Job , soldier!
Love, The Colonel
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-08-22 18:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*Thats why we've taken to fucking our hands, assholes, goats, bagels, and the obligatory pocket pussy. We dont really need women to pleasure us.*
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Ok, but you have to admit that vaginas still feel better. I mean, I have all the gadgets with bells and whistles, and yet I still nothing beats feeling full of man. And believe me, I've tried to replicate it bu sticking a condom on a vibrator and covering the whole deal with KY Warming Liquid...just not the same.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-22 18:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good read.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-08-22 18:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for this line alone: "It's your vagina, you deal with it."