The Nuggs J-date. (825 hits)
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Rating: 0.59 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2004-08-23 12:51:39 EDT
Well, it wasn't a j-date, but I'm keeping with todays theme.
The reoccuring problem I've had with my lovelife is this:
The guys I want don't want me. I let them know too early what I think of them, I have them on my mind constantly, I do anything I can to ensure they see all of my best qualities. They tell me I'm great, but I know they aren't interested. It drives me to try harder to win them over... I love a challenge.
The guys that I don't want do anything and everything to get me. I hate being persued. I hate when a guy calls too much. I hate if he seems too interested too soon. I hate when he smothers me. Mainly because I'm too independant, and I hate when someone muscles into my life. I don't like someone professing their love for me before they KNOW me. It reeks of insenserity and desperation. This means that most of the guys who really like me get the cold shoulder- and the more I try to push them away, the more they struggle to win me over.
Obviously, this is a problem.
I'm a firm believer in owning your life. By this I mean that I don't blame others. I don't think "Guys suck!" and things like that. I realize that it's ME.
I am the problem.
Am I attracting the wrong sorts of guys? Am I persuing guys who are out of my league?
No.
The problem is this: Dating is a game. Corinne is not a game player. This translates into Corinne continously losing at dating.
Guys like persuing. They like the challenge of 'getting the girl'. They need to feel manly by believing that they are the knights on white horses, winning over the untouchable princess.
This is a fact! Don't argue! Don't say "I'm not like that" or "don't generalize!" or any of that bullshit. I'm right, dammit.
And since you can't argue with fact, I decided to turn into a game player and test this out.
I hate myself for it.
(ah, it's really quite amusing, and since I lack morals and integrity, I'm enjoying it.)
Here's the story.
I did volunteer work the other day with a guy I work with. After shoveling mulch and raking all day we decided it was Miller Time. Chilis has the best pichers... frozen mugs, the whole nine yards.
We pull up chairs at the bar and order our beer. I notice the guy on my right. He's very attractive... exactly the kind of guy that I fall for, physically. (of course, the mental thing is more important, really, but I won't deny that there has to be a physical attraction.) He's tall and burly... dressed nicely, light eyes, easy smile.
He starts chatting it up with us, and right away I was like "Don't fuck this up... play the game this time, see if it works!" (which means: "stop being proud of how you aren't like other girls- stop assuming that everyone is honest and good, stop being naieve... act like the 8 million other dumb bitches in the world, and see if THAT gets you anywhere).
I talk to him a bit, smiling, flirting, etc... then I turn my back to him. I engage my co-worker in flirty conversation and ignore The Subject of the Experiment.
The Subject waits patiently for our picher to empty into our gullets. "Hey, get them another!" he says to the bartender. Normally I'd gush, and say something to the effect of, "no, you don't have to!", instead I thank him, and go back to my conversation.
I'm very uncomfortable. I know I'm being rude. I'm sure that he'll call me a bitch and leave. Co-worker gets up to go to the bathroom, and The Subject inquires on our status, "I hope your boyfriend isn't bothered by us talking...".
"No, he's not my boyfriend- we just work together."
We chat a bit. I'm aware of how I look. I'm sweaty, my hair is a curly, fluffy mess. I have pieces of mulch in my hair, on my clothes. I'm dirty. Surely I won't win him over looking like this- game or no game.
He asks for my number.
I give it to him.
My cellphone rings- it's him. I give him a questioning look.
"Oh, just making sure it's the right number!" he explains. I roll my eyes, and turn to talk to The Co-Worker who has just returned from the potty.
After we leave Chilis my phone rings. It's The Subject. He just wanted to say goodbye again, he says. I keep the conversation short- hinting at the fact that it's weird that he calls so soon.
The next day he calls again, I ignore the call.
The next day he calls, and I answer. He wants to hang out on Sunday, and I'm up for it. Of course, sticking to the rules of the game, I don't TELL him I'm up for it, I say, "Let me call you back, alright?". Four hours later he calls me again, "sorry," he says "but, what's up for Sunday, are you game?". I hesitate, then agree to go to his house for a bbq.
It was a fun time. Although, I could see his insecurities are eating him up... he's constantly testing me, trying to understand me, trying to impress me, trying to seduce me. His friend made a comment, "I've never seen The Subject so tore-up like this... haha, you musta done something to the poor boy".
Yes, I did it. I acted like every other stupid bitch, and got the guy in a tizzy.
I leave earlier than I wanted to- just to make him insecure. Just to make him wonder what I thought. I thanked him for the great dinner, the fun night, etc... made sure he realized I had a good time, but, "I really have to go.".
And I left.
He called me again this morning. "Do you want to go on a ride next weekend?" (did I mention, he has a Harley? Have I ever told you how much I love bikes? I love riding...).
"Well, hmm... I'll have to see what's going on... maybe."
I'm so glad I figured out how to be like every other girl.
User Reviews
Submitted by AteMyNeighborsShit (user info) at 2004-08-24 19:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
fuck this. I'm sure you've met your share of good guys who were both honest to you and stable, normal people. a good deal of 'em were probably attractive too. think about it...
how many times have to tried to have your cake and eat it too, only to be left with nothing? how many times have you simply made the wrong choice becase of reasons that you knew weren't good ones?
how many guys have done everything they could to impress you, but received no feedback?
Walls, missie, DO keep people out. Those walls exist in many forms when it comes to emotion. 'playing the game' as you call it in this post, is merely you erecting a second wall around your already guarded emotions. When the Subject gets by your new wall, he'll still hit the second one like all the others.
yes, you are in a different group of chicks than the ones you accuse of playing. and you eternally hate those chicks because they have many of the things that you claim to want. it rubs against you to face having to play THEIR game. and you don't...
the game they play is with the men; yours is with yourself...
are both not equally wicked?
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-23 20:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I don't like someone professing their love for me before they KNOW me."
Corrine I love you, no really, yes really really. We could go running in the woods naked in the moonlight, soaring in sensual delights.
Well that is after I save the fare and finnish the dishes.
PLEEEASE. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
Is it working?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-23 17:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-08-23 17:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A 26 year old shitforbrains with the all mighty powerful pussy...how refreshing
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-08-23 16:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i can't understand why there are women who agonise and carry on in this way when there are cut-price middle aged male prostitutes available at a mere $20 (australian dollars!) an hour
Submitted by Sofa_Queen (user info) at 2004-08-23 16:10:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yep, when girls try that "I'll ignore him and he'll want me more" I show them replaceble they really are. There are plenty of people who don't play games.
Submitted by RandomJose (user info) at 2004-08-23 15:39:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I see you've taken my advice, and used it against my gender.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/42056
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-08-23 15:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry for the loss.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-08-23 15:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Corinne, you're great, but this post makes me very sad.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-23 15:26:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I use way too many parentheses.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-23 15:02:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You need to set some standards for yourself, based on what you're looking for (goals) and what hasn't worked out so well in the past (learn from your mistakes), and adhere to those standards.
When I was single, for example, I wouldn't date anybody who was more or less than a year older than me (because of maturity issues), I didn't want to be with somebody that normally wouldn't want as a friend first(anything else usually ends up being short-term), I didn't want somebody to unreasonably take my independence from me (I nicknamed an ex "The Klingon", because all she did was Kling on to me...she actually wanted me to give up drinking! Yes, Me! The poster-boy of boozeclownerry!), and I woundn't date anybody with a piecring or visible tattoo (only crazys mutilate themselves).
Anything else was flexible.
Thank god I'm married and don't have to worry about that bullshit anymore.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-08-23 14:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
How lame.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-08-23 14:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh...so you're not a dumb game playing cunt after all. You too have just given up being nice with the opposite sex. I guess we would be made for each other then.
I take back what I said. Sorry for the misinterpretation.
Submitted by lrw (user info) at 2004-08-23 14:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so... you're pissed because you love a challenge and "do anything to get them" and try too hard. then you're pissed when the guy loves a challenge and "does anything to get you" and he tries too hard. Uhm... am i the only one confused by this?
dude, fuck it.. if it happens it happens.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:53:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Corn. I have been where you are believe me. And although
I am only a few years older than you, life has taught
me a few things. When It comes to men don't try to
figure them out. They are what they are and usually very
cut and dry. I also have learned that you can't look for
love or a good relationship. It just happens. Some of
the best relationships I have been in haven't been sought
after or looked for. They just happen! When you meet the right
guy, you'll know it, and you won't need to play any games.
Here is my one word of advice. The next time you meet someone
that you are interested in, just go with the flow. Enjoy your
time together, and just be friends. Don't rush into anything
serious. Just have fun and enjoy being together. Things will
develop on their own and if it it's meant to be, it will.
Good luck and don't stress over all this.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and also!!
Since I think I'm a little bit eccentric and crazy I do tend to like guys who show a little bit of crazy themselves... it's exciting to me on one hand, and on the other I identify with them. I don't generally find myself interested in "normal" guys.
That's the fucking problem!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TL- I'm 26... and I'm aware that I'm regressing to the attitude of a teenager, but... I'm at a loss!
Calincourt- Spam away, I'm indifferent. I know what you mean, I feel in the same boat as you (except opposite... uhh...) I've met so many stupid fucks, and I feel like I keep "being myself" and "being open and honest" and they don't give a shit. At this point it's like... why bother being a good person anymore? It's getting me nowhere! Yes, I know, "You just haven't met the right man" and all that... but...?
I suppose I'm not really playing a game so much now as not allowing myself to fall into another trap. The trap being ME letting my gaurd down too early and realizing that the guy I like is either 1) Out for sex or 2) an emotional screwball who sneakily hid the fact until it was too late.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm sorry for spamming this but I met so many women like you lately. They treat you like shit all evening then get pissed when you start ignoring them. Oh no wait, they get turned on...in an emotional wreck kind of way.
You and your pathetic false sense of confidence can go back to your romantic comedy scenario where men desperatly persue dumb bitches to feel more manly.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Corn, out of curiosity, how old are you? How old
are these guys that you like?
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:27:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You need a good old fashioned FISTING...
That will clear the head I bet.... nothing like a lubed up fist in your ass to get you on the right track.... right Mom ?
Arggg.... WHAT?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TL-
Of course, no, I don't let him know "too soon" that I like him. Usually the guy tells me he likes me a lot... hangs out all the time, calls all the time... etc, and then when I finally DO know I like him, I let my gaurd down and start reciprocating... he sees he "won", and gets scared.
For example... I started dating an old highschool friend last year. We spent as much time as possible together, we talked on the phone constantly, he told me how much he liked me, and since I was still unsure, I didn't tell HIM how much I liked him.
I mean, I "thought" I liked him a lot, but I wasn't SURE... after a few months I fell in love. I let my gaurd down, and accepted the fact that I felt SO strongly about this guy. I told him this (which I didn't think would be too big of a deal, since he had already told ME how he was falling for me...) and not a week later he says "I can't do this... I just can't." and we broke up.
That is the example of me not playing the game, letting my gaurd down... it's happened more than once.
Submitted by Dr. Stevenson <dr.stevenson.at.your.mom's.house> at 2004-08-23 13:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
>> They need to feel manly by believing that they are the knights on white horses, winning over the untouchable princess.
I think stabbing someone with a sword would make me feel more manly than tooling around like a pansy. But you are the expert on guys...
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
See here is the deal. If you meet a guy and in a week
you tell in your crazy about him, yada yada yada..yes,
I can see how he might freak a bit. That is way too soon.
However, in all honesty, if I guy is hanging out with you
several times a week, he obviously likes you. Whether he says
it or not is irrelevant. If he didn't like you, he would NOT be
hanging out with you.
The thing is, we all run the risk of being let down. Men and
woman, but if you don't take the risk, you might miss out.
Not ever guy you like is going to feel the same about you
and visa versa. But, that is the chance you have to take
to find the right one.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AH, should I clarify...
I do not have the ability to be a manipulating bitch for long... if/when I find out that i really DO like this guy, I will let things flow naturally. Right now though, I belive this game of cat and mouse is paying off.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In a sense, you've got some valid points. I used to be a big game player when I was younger. But I'm a much more mature 29-year old man now, and would rather spend my time talking with someone who's open, honest and real with me.
In any event, he sounds like a decent guy. Hope you don't fuck it up with your little "experiment".
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:11:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tiger Lilly... You know, I THOUGHT I was right before... but when I don't play games I find myself assed out. When I tell the guy what I think and how I feel they bail. It's happened SO many times.
Seriously, the two types of "relationships" I have are:
I like them more, and they get scared and back off.
They like me more, and they get mad because I'm "so distant".
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What a horrible game.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The reoccuring problem I've had with my lovelife is this:
The guys I want don't want me. I let them know too early what I think of them, I have them on my mind constantly, I do anything I can to ensure they see all of my best qualities. They tell me I'm great, but I know they aren't interested. It drives me to try harder to win them over... I love a challenge.
The guys that I don't want do anything and everything to get me. I hate being persued. I hate when a guy calls too much. I hate if he seems too interested too soon. I hate when he smothers me. Mainly because I'm too independant, and I hate when someone muscles into my life. I don't like someone professing their love for me before they KNOW me. It reeks of insenserity and desperation. This means that most of the guys who really like me get the cold shoulder- and the more I try to push them away, the more they struggle to win me over.
This is great. You act just like they do.
Your game is bullshit, btw. I'm not even going to get into it.
You get a +0 because at least this is well written.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-08-23 13:01:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Guys don't like to persue, neither do women. Most people are so insecure with themselves that they have the reflex of being attracted to people who reject them. Anyone with basic common sense realized that at the age of 10. Whenever a woman tries that trick on me, I promptly ignore her, and rightly so.
Congratulations for your new stupid cunt personality.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-23 12:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Same here. the guys I want don't want me. The guys I want to stay
50 feet away from me at all times stalk me.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-08-23 12:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think you have it all wrong. You need to be
yourself, and stop playing games. If you like
someone let them know it. By playing games and
trying to pretend you are something you are not,
you might miss out on a really nice guy. He is
obviously interested in you, why fuck that up?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-08-23 12:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you played that many games with my head in the first 12 hours of meeting you, you'd be in the "where-are-they-now" file....exactly where you'll be with this guy soon anyway.
You just need a good reaming.
Good luck with your celibacy.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-23 12:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOT HOT HOT!!!
Nothing hotter than a girl that says no! Gimme the challenge!!!!
Submitted by ToxicNarcotic (user info) at 2004-08-23 12:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah instead of guys we should go make out with girls in the woods teeheehee