Fuck you Francis Gay (768 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.67 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Trout (View user info) at 2004-08-23 16:23:57 EDT
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Wednesday 18th August
Saw a comedian at the Edinburgh Fringe festival.
He told a joke.
Whatever happened to the Catholic church?
I mean look at the pope, he's changed over the years.
He used to be a mover and a shaker.............
I laughed.
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Thursday 19th August
Deciding that the comedian I saw the night before was a bigot I decided to track him down. I told him that he should stop telling jokes about el papa because it was wrong. I told him that somewhere somebody rapes po faced comedians that try to take the piss out of catholicism, with a broom handle, brutally. He'll stop only long enough to take a snapshot of you lying in a puddle of bodily excretions with your battered and bloodied ring piece on show to the whole world. The photograph would then be used for extortion and blackmail and to ensure that the police were never called.
He seemed to take this information on board so I went home and ate pizza.
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Friday 20th August
Spent most of the day in the police station then the court where I was handed a restraining order and formally cautioned about threatening behaviour.
Went home and ate some left over pizza while masturbating in time to Beethoven's Fifth.
What a movie!
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Saturday 21st August
Decided to check out some of the street theatre that's part of the Edinburgh festival.
Was shocked to see a dancing bear left outside a shop, while it's owner bought groceries, maul and critically injure a passing man.
The bear was tied to a peg usually reserved for dogs. Armed police arrived quickly but were unable to shoot the bear for fear of hitting the man.
I stuck around for a while and eventually overheard the owner of the bear being interviewed.
"I can't understand it. My bear is usually good as gold. I bet the man was drunk, it's well known that bears can't abide drunkards"
I went home and got drunk there as it's a well known fact that my home is a bear free zone. Whew!
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Sunday 22nd August
Struggled out of bed with a hangover.
Got my vestments on and gave mass.
Listened to some confessions then invited the choir boys back to my place for a game of twister.
Somehow my thermostat was out of kilter and the heating was on full blast. Luckily I had enough speedos to go around.
Later on I prayed for my soul then read comic books.
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User Reviews
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-08-24 07:36:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aside from the rampant anti-Catholic sentement, I laughed at several places.
Submitted by Konerak (user info) at 2004-08-23 17:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Heh. Recently, the pope visited Lourdes (you know, the healing place? In France?)
News reader stated: "Lourdes always has an aura of illness and handicap around it, and the popes presence today only makes that aura more touchable".
I'm sure she didn't mean it that way though.
Submitted by Inseminator (user info) at 2004-08-23 17:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's pretty weird...
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-08-23 16:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now this was interesting in a very indescribable way.
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-08-23 16:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just don't know. But its good for me.
Submitted by geofroley (user info) at 2004-08-23 16:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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