Manchops, green eyes and crazy people (821 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.42 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by PAS (View user info) at 2004-08-23 20:46:52 EDT
I would love to grow huge manchops, like Gaz from Supergrass. Is it possible for a girl to produce sideburns the thickness of a chimp's underarm hair? I live in hope. When I have manchops men will stare at my hirsute face in envy. Sexy women will stroke my chops in excitement. And in envy.
Chimps will groom my sideburns and eat the many headlice who have established their summer residences there. But enough of my fantasies. For some reason I attract crazy people on my travels. I don't understand it, and I can't be the only woman sporting facial hair.
*Chicago*
Catching a ride to Lincoln Park Zoo from Union Station our driver's first words were. "I am the best cab driver you will ever have. Trust me, I am the best".
I stared at my partner. He stroked my manchops lovingly. Okaaaay...
The cabbie continued, "I have a pet ferret, they are great animals. I take him to the park and let all the children pet him. The other day he was playing with the remote control, pressing the buttons and changing the channels. I thought to myself "I don't want to watch this crap" and took the remote off him. He bit my finger, grabbed the remote and hid it behind the sofa.
The next day I couldn't find the remote control and I complained to my wife.
"What did you do to the ferret?" she said.
'I didn't do anything'
"you must have done something"
'okay I took the remote away from him',
"well it's your fault he hid it"
My ferret is so smart!
..."When I first came to this country I lived in New York for 5 years. The people...I thought, they are so crazy. They all walk in the streets talking to themselves.
After six months *I* was talking to myself. The city, it make you crazy. I'm from Algeria by the way. Thank you please."
*New York*
On holiday with a group of friends we wandered into a 'bad' part of town. Well, it didn't matter, I didn't have a lot of money on me and I wasn't wearing expensive clothes. There was only an old black guy nearby muttering to himself. But then he wandered up to me and said ""Give me your goddamn flip-flops". I would have laughed, except he had a gun. "You crazy motherfucker" I thought, "what do you want my flip-flops for? I'm not giving you my flip-flops".
I walked back to the hostel barefoot.
*Paris*
One of the most fashionable, cultured and trendy cities in the world. Except the metro absolutely stinks of piss and vomit. I couldn't understand how this could be the case when everyone on the train was high society & better dressed than I.
It became crystal late one night, whilst I waited on the platform. On the opposite side was a long haired tramp on his lonesome. He stared at us, shuffled away from his seat to further up the platform, gave us a brief apologetic stare, turned his back, took out little mister frenchie and pissed up the wall. In full view. Turned around, stared at us some more while we looked at him with a mixture of horror, disgust and envy. Shuffled back to his seat, got on the next train and took long slurps out of his paper bag. Très bon.
At least he knew what he was doing. Unlike the time we rode the metro and a young normal looking guy started talking French quite loudly. No big surprise in Paris, a French man speaking French. So I assumed he was talking to his friends...but there was no-one near him. He got louder and louder shouting at his captive audience and when he arrived at his destination he reached full crescendo, banged on his pole and sauntered off, but not before gesturing frantically at the train.
Extrapolating from these two specimens of French people and the fact they eat frogs I deduce they are all mad. Madder than Mad Jack McMad, the winner of this year's Mr Madman competition.
And now, behold the hairy chops of Mr Gaz Coombes, lead singer and all round chimp from Supergrass. I'm sure you all share in my dilemma. Should I be a normal girl or be a manchop wearing trannie-goddess?
I vote for the 'burns.
User Reviews
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-08-24 04:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by vajokki (user info) at 2004-08-24 02:52:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How the HELL can Paris be "One of the most fashionable, cultured and trendy cities in the world"?
IT SUCKS ASS. ALOT.
The people there are the biggest assholes in the world. The only competition they have is parts of central United States.
The French don't deserve their own country.
Yeah anyway, great post.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-08-24 02:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
HAVE Summa summa my manchoooops.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-08-24 02:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Putting effort into something at 2am still does not necessarily make it any good. Thanks for the honesty people.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-08-23 23:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
It didn't work for me, but you put effort into it.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-08-23 22:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Since when is giving peole +2s automatically kissing ass? I was not around when PAS was in his...most prominent time. I still think this is interesting.
Conspiracy theorists always piss me off.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I feel your pain. I wish I could grow sideburns too.
Submitted by tammy (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked it and I'm not Just kissing your wrinkled Uber-ass.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hairy woman?
No I don't think this is one of your better ideas.
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh SHIT! A prominent uber-user! We all better give +2s (despite the quality of the post) in fear of punishment if we speak out against it!
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I would love to grow huge manchops, like Gaz from Supergrass. Is it possible for a girl to produce sideburns the thickness of a chimp's underarm hair? I live in hope. When I have manchops men will stare at my hirsute face in envy. Sexy women will stroke my chops in excitement. And in envy."
Okay, that right there made me feel sick.
I looked in vain for something in the post to give you a -1. I swear I did. I don't like giving out -2s to people who have put in decent effort, but the "punchlines" here didn't have any... punch. At all. Not even a love tap.
Sorry.
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL OMFG U CALED ME A RETAARD LOL LOL ROFL!!1! GAY FAG LO!!LOL!!
Special = Retard! My god, it was so clever! I have to take my bath now, HILARIOUS! YOU are SOOOO original, PeopleAreStrange. I'm going to name my children after you! I mean, it's just so FRESH calling someone a retard! Oh... PAS... you never cease to amaze me.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:10:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Argh. I'm going to bed.
---
May I join you?
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:12:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rating: 0.62 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (View all ratings)
Submitted by Hot Carl Returns for SPT! (View user info) at 2004-08-19 15:28:25
For your reference. I call a truce.
Vive La Shite Post Thursday!!!!
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shitfuck, okay you posted it on a Thursday. Argh. I'm going to bed.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:10:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PAS, it was indeed posted on Thursday.
And F-U-C-K Jesus with a dead goat's horn.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:09:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:07:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry... I didn't read it. I'm sure it's good, but I hate you, so...
Futue Te Ipsum!!!!
It's time for the special people to take their bath.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shitfuck in case it has escaped your attention it is Monday, not Thursday. Unless you meant it to be an even shitter SPT post because it wasn't even posted on a Thursday. Even if some of it made me grin a little I don't find anything about child abuse amusing. Maybe you do, but if you can't handle a minus 2 on your post, why bother posting? I'm not going to encourage other people to write child abuse stories by giving your post a positive rating. It's what Jesus would do.
Submitted by OICU812 (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:07:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry... I didn't read it. I'm sure it's good, but I hate you, so...
Futue Te Ipsum!!!!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:06:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PAS rules!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-23 21:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Perhaps you missed the fine print: SPT.
And if you had actually read it, you would have immediatley recognized how poorly written it was--hence: the bad joke written badly--my take on a true SPT post.
Perhaps you just didn't appreciate my interpretation?
Vis a vis, my lack of appreciation for your combination of words, well written or not.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-08-23 20:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's right shitfuck, my post is on the same level as abusing children. I deserve so many minus 2's I'm going to give myself another one. Oh wait, I'm not a sick fuck like you.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-23 20:50:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Retailitory -2, in its purest manifestation.
I don't hate you, but fuck you.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-08-23 20:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bah, I'm not funny. But I do have a luxurious moustache.