Completely Irrelovant Concepts (542 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.71 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sketch9 (View user info) at 2004-08-23 23:44:38 EDT
Its me, that pissant that nobody's heard of. And Im fucking back. With a spork.
And by spork, i meant vengeance.
Im here to unmask the foul half-truths and poultry whole lies. (bad pun, huh?)
Everyone remember that Hershey's Chocolate Syrup commercial where that chick was standing on the sidewalk, took a drink of milk, a drink of chocolate syrup, and gargled? She was apparently overjoyed that the two liquids inside of her mouth had combined, successfully creating the worlds only drinkable candy, chocolate milk.
Now I, being the intrepid explorer that I am, representing the American consumer, never fearing and willing to try any concept, have attempted to recreate this situation. First I had to prepare. Not often does the media have its bluff called, and I must ready myself to break conventional boundaries.
Ok, i smoked a fat bowl of some sticky High Times nuggets. Like Hydro Hindu Kush. But with more crystals.
My intention had not been to test the ideas given out to me in commercials, but i just got so fucked up that it happened to lead to that. Why a year old commercial for chocolate milk? Why not?
I took a large mouthfull of milk, leaned my head back, and slowly drizzled the syrupy goodness that was Hershey's (r) into my mouth.
Me: "This is gonna kick ass man!"
Reality: "What the fuck? You're pouring milk and chocolate syrup in your mouth, why would it kick ass?"
Me: "You're always harshing my buzz!"
I started to gargle.
Now, I dont know if you've ever done this as a kid in the school lunchroom, but try blowing through a straw into some milk. You'll notice it bubbles to an unreasonable extent, eventually looking like that room in Willy Wonka with the floating soft drink shit.
Thats what happened in my mouth.
That shit bubbled so much i could see it piling up.
Which was what caused me to giggle.
Which is what caused me to choke.
Which is what caused me to suck about a quart worth of bubbles up my nose.
Which is what caused me to spit brown liquid across most of my kitchen.
Worst of all, It didnt even taste like chocolate milk.
The moral of the story: Hershey's blows, rock on Nestle.
User Reviews
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-08-24 01:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"Completely Irrelovant Concepts"
Like spelling?
Submitted by slyphter (user info) at 2004-08-24 00:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
don't do drugs kids.
Submitted by Canucksfan at 2004-08-24 00:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Clever
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-08-24 00:45:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
downerSTAIN, come over. we'll smoke some of that same shit i was describing.
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-08-24 00:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shit downerSTAIN, I just smoked the last of my stickiest nuggets. whoops.
Submitted by Alithewonderllama (user info) at 2004-08-24 00:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-08-24 00:20:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Give me some weed, milk, and chocolate syrup. NOW!
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-08-24 00:03:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Even I dont like this post.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-23 23:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Im here to unmask the foul half-truths and poultry whole lies. (bad pun, huh?)"
Actually that is probably one of the worst Puns that I have ever had the misfortune of seeing.
Which is what made me laugh!
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2004-08-23 23:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love that picture. Have a +2.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-08-23 23:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Other irrelevant topics: the proper spelling of "irrelevant".
Not a very good post, but I smiled.