The Exorcist Theme + The Perfect Atmosphere + Perfect Timing= A Scared Naked Couple (1597 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.63 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shark25 (View user info) at 2004-08-24 11:10:33 EDT
Many years ago my roommate and I went to a friends wedding after the reception we told people if they wanted to keep drinking they could come to our apartment. Well people were starting to show up at our place and they all complained it was too bright. I guess they were scared of looking at what they had been trying to fuck all night.
So in light of several complaints my roommate switched out our main living room light with a black light bulb that gave the apartment an eerie feel to it. Then to make things worse my roommate grabbed his fog maker that he had for our Halloween party. And filled the floor with fog.
Well the party slowed down and most of everyone had gone home to do whomever it is they were doing. My roommate went to bed and my friend Dru and I were still up talking. The black light was still on and the fog machine was going strong.
Just as Dru was getting ready to leave he got a call from his buddy and his buddies girlfriend. They wanted to know if they could come by and party. What would be said next would set up one of the most disturbing nights of they're young lives.
Dru: Well I am heading out and the guys who live here are asleep but if you wanted to come by I can leave the door open for you.
They were very happy about this and Dru went on to explain that these two liked to swap tarter sauce in different places that would give them the chance of getting caught. Well if they like to get caught we would help them out with that.
We woke up our roommate as we were going to need his help and his Oakland Raider face paints. Dru and I are about the same height and build and we had both worn black suits to the wedding. Yes I know very gay. We did not plan it alright. I will let you get the gay jokes out of your system.
Okay back to the story. Dru and I painted our faces white and put black underneath our eyes using my roommates face paint. Dru went outside to hide and I laid down on the floor covered by the fog. My roommate Jake hid in the kitchen with the remote for the stereo that was playing some random music. Just as we were getting ready for the arrival of the horny couple a thunderstorm began to move in. The atmosphere was set.
I heard the door open and the guy and girl who came in were quietly giggling to themselves.
Dude: Look at this. This is great.
Chick: Shut up. Unless you want to wake up the people who live here.
Dude: Come on we'll make love in the fog.
They laid down right next to me. I could see the outline of the guy's head next to mine. That is when it started. I started to feel like I was spinning. Maybe I should not have added the last five shots of whiskey to everything else I had drank that night. I could feel the food I had eaten that night start to rumble in my stomach. I had to hold it down we had done too much for my drunk ass to destroy this prank.
As clothing was removed the guy was still on the floor and the girl was on top and the sex had begun. I could hear the soft moans coming from them both.
Dude: I love you Carla.
Carla: I love you Steve.
My roommate then hit the remote and the exorcist theme came from the stereo and at that moment I did my best Jason/Zombie/Undertaker impression and sat up from under the fog with my eyes rolled into the back of my head.
It was then that I felt the vomit come out of my mouth and hit the loving couple.
Right then a huge lighting strike hit. You know the kind that is so close that when the thunder follows the house shakes. The couple was looking at some hideous pale-faced monster that had just vomited all over them and lighting had just added to the effect.
Steve: What The Fuck?!?
With vomit on my chin and my eyes still rolling into my head the couple started to scream and I said in my best demon voice.
Me: I love you Carla!
I started sticking out my tongue and making all the sounds of a demon saying.
Me: I love to watch! Let me watch!
The couple got up and grabbed what clothes they could and ran to the door and right when they opened the door Dru was standing there with his eyes rolled into the back of his head yelling.
Dru: You will suck Satan's cock in hell!!!!
Steve pushed past Dru and the two ran to they're car and sped away into the night.
After the fog had cleared and we put the regular light back in. I cleaned what vomit was on the carpet which was not much which means most of it landed on the unfortunate couple. Steve called Dru later the next day and cursed us both as we had a good laugh at his expense.
Oh Uber just telling this story makes me like the demon is coming back. Someone call Father Merrin.
Good Times.
User Reviews
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-08-26 12:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
here's another +2....in the pooper!
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-08-25 01:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Cam (user info) at 2004-08-25 00:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great.....just great!
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-08-24 17:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by nathan_s (user info) at 2004-08-24 17:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolutly great! I got wierd looks at work when I was laughing. Then I farted because I was laughing. +2 for making me fart
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-08-24 17:14:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by vajokki (user info) at 2004-08-24 17:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For once I laughed at a uber post.
Well well done.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-08-24 16:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm intensly amused... But "they're" DOES NOT EQUAL 'their'. PlEASEPLEASEPLEASE don't do this. It interrupts the flow of what is an otherwise great story. Sorry, pet peeve of mine.
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Yeah I would have caught that if I were not in such a hurry. I just type them out and then I proof read. I did not get to proof read this time.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-08-24 16:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm intensly amused... But "they're" DOES NOT EQUAL 'their'. PlEASEPLEASEPLEASE don't do this. It interrupts the flow of what is an otherwise great story. Sorry, pet peeve of mine.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-08-24 16:13:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BAH!
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-08-24 16:08:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-08-24 12:15:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
It was then that I felt the vomit come out of my mouth and hit the loving couple.
Laughed out loud at that part!
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Me too!!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2004-08-24 16:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for "I will now let you get the gay jokes out of your system," followed by a triple space as opposed to a double.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2004-08-24 15:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-08-24 11:19:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't this happen on Will & Grace???
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Pathetic.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-08-24 15:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the darkest day in the history of Springfield. If anybody
wants me I'll be in the shower.
-- Homer Simpson
Lemon of Troy
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-08-24 14:44:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should have started jacking off like mad in your own vomit
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-08-24 13:30:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woo!
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-08-24 13:16:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who knows Aval. Who knows.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-08-24 13:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The story was great, but the writing was subpar. You usually write good stuff, what happened shark?
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-08-24 12:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shark...always great stuff.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-24 12:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2004-08-24 12:15:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was then that I felt the vomit come out of my mouth and hit the loving couple.
Laughed out loud at that part!
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-08-24 12:00:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great! As always.
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2004-08-24 11:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
zombies are always good. nice touch on the vomit.
Submitted by i_eat_soap (user info) at 2004-08-24 11:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I ment to give you a +2 but clumsy me.
Submitted by gibberish (user info) at 2004-08-24 11:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was too lazy to read this, so just have a +2 anyway.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-24 11:39:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't want your lousy pea soup!
Submitted by Smurfs (user info) at 2004-08-24 11:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-08-24 11:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shenanigans !
Awesome story if it was true.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2004-08-24 11:19:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't this happen on Will & Grace???
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-08-24 11:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny shit.