My desire for chaos (454 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by living under stars (View user info) at 2004-08-24 16:39:42 EDT
"Nietche says out of chaos comes order"
Although this quote was promptly followed by "Blow it out your ass, Howard" in the cinema classic Blazing Saddles, I am a firm believer in it. But I find that once I arrive to order, I have the desire to revert back to chaos. Why? To sum it up in a sentence: To fall in love is to be in chaos.
I find myself in a constant search for someone who can make me better. Someone who can take my whole world and all of my beliefs and turn them upside down. Make me question my beliefs, and through this questioning, validate or break down those beliefs.
Then why revert back to chaos after I have been improved. Why do these relationships always end as the beginning high wears off? Partly due to the desire for further improvement, but mostly due to the fact that only one can like chaos and the other ends up having order. I realize that what I know, what I believe, does not impact the other person like they impact me. There is no mutual high.
I found this once, and now she doesn't return my calls (bitch). We both caused change in one another. I never felt so content. I never stopped smiling. I would walk at sunset as the first star came out and feel infinite. I look at this as a bad thing now. To know what that feeling feels like and not have it anymore.
Sometimes, I would do anything to feel that way again, because you can't have that feeling even in the best of dreams.
User Reviews
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-08-25 16:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Michael, love sucks. Thus chaos sucks. There's a word that describes people like you and me, and its: Shmuck. That's my insight. WAOW!
Submitted by PWNstar (user info) at 2004-08-24 21:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was hoping for more than two reviews, god, what a fuckin slow day
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2004-08-24 17:22:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-24 17:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Me too.