A sign from GOD! (329 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.5 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <omullan.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-08-24 23:36:17 EDT
So there I am in my shitty little flat smoking yet another doob and off my face. This happens on average 360 days a year.
I'm watching some DVD - possibly porn I can't remember now but who cares, it's not essential to the plot. I get the craving for a Harry Rag so I pop down to Circle K for a pack...
Rewind one week. I'm stumbling out of my place on my way to work when I spot the biggest spider I've ever seen. This fella was like a fucking tarantula or one of those bird eating things. I gave him a wide berth, live and let live I say and went to work thinking nothing more of it.
When I came home from that night the spider was still there. Now anyone coming in or out of the building would see this thing but they all obviously thought like me and decided to leave it be and hope it would go away. This continued for four days. The spider hardly moved from his spot. I ended up getting a bit friendly with it. Telling it not to wait up if I was going to be late and generally exchanging pleasantaries. Well perhaps exchaning is not right word...
Then he disappeared and was forgotten until the trip to Circle K. As I walked down the stairs I found myself looking out for my eight-legged friend but he was no where to be seen and I mused to myself that would probably be the last I'll ever see of him. Returning to my flat I opened the door and could not believe my eyes. There was the spider on my wall exactly where my head had been resting against it not six minutes earlier.
Now I don't mind sharing my building with oversized arachnids but my flat is a small place and I decied that there was only room for one of us. I grabbed a broom and attempted to coax him out of the flat. The thought that this might be a battle to the death crossed my mind but was quickly dismissed as I pondered the scale of the clean-up operation.
As I lunged, half-heartedly I must add, he took to his heels and ran right out of the window, from where I can only suspect he came in the first place. Now if I hadn't been fucked up I might have been phased by this event but I was on for a ciggie and I was going to damn well have one. So I sat back and inhaled. It was then that I realised that if I believed in God I would probably have read the spider's appearance as a "sign" a "revelation" or some other bollocks.
So in conclusion the moral of this story is, don't get friendly with big spiders unless you're willing to have them in the house. Oh, and if you "do" get a visit in the middle of the night, it's not a sign from God telling you to quit smoking!
User Reviews
Submitted by DrPresident (user info) at 2004-08-25 11:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Uh... great story?
Submitted by JonnyBoy (user info) at 2004-08-25 00:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hm...This is ok, but if you are that fucked up from smoking weed there is something wrong with you. I have smoked 1 gram of 14% THC weed, and I wasn't that incredibly fucked up, I was just REALLY hungry, and damn, Sun Chips are bomb.