Weed, Booze and Cigars - A deadly combo (551 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.5 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rotodizer (View user info) at 2004-08-24 23:46:36 EDT
Last night I went to some shitty tavern to drink with a few of friends. To be honest, I am a very rational and reasonable person. Unless I get drunk. That's what happened yesterday. I think I drank and smoke about... too much. I was pretty wasted. So were my friends. Let's call them Tim, Joe and Will.
After we drank enough, we set off in the streets without any concrete goal. But then came "The Idea". Will wanted to go for some adventures. Just so you know, the part of the city I live in is very quiet and there's not much to do except getting drunk and hanging out in some lame parks. So the "adventures" themselves had to involve sleeping people that lived around and/or city buildings. So we bought a few cigars and started looking for a place to smoke them. "Let's make it a cool place" Joe said. So off we went, looking for a "cool" place to smoke cigars. We found one. My old school is getting a new wing and it's not finished yet, so there's a big field with construction stuff all over it. What a better place for adventures? We went over the fence, each one of us falling on their ass like the drunken idiots that we were and making a whole lot of noise. We climbed on an old rotten staircase and got to the top of the building. We each lit one of our cigars and smoke them quieltly, relaxing.
Until Will shouted "Holy fuck, there's someone in that parked car!" We all stood up and looked at it and there was indeed someone in a parked car. What the hell he was doing there, at that moment we had no idea. He was probably guarding the place, but who the fuck pays for someone to watch over an empty construction field? Anyways, we didn't think, we just freaked out as he was getting out of the car yelling "get the fuck down" and us getting caught there would involve a lot of mess. The guy was blocking the staircase we came in from, being the only (safe) escape route. We searched for another way to get off that building in vain. He was now climbing the stairs to reach us. He would soon reach the top and ourselves. We tought the best solution was to jump off.
We were drunk, not retarded.
So we searched for something soft to land on. Will found a pile of sand to jump on. Will jumped, tripped a bit but was fine. Then ran like a fucking groupie chasing The Beatles. So did Joe and Tim. I was the last one to jump and the guard was running right behind me, so I was pretty stressed out. I took a jump but just before I took off my I tripped over the side of the roof and fell on my arm. Now I'm one lucky motherfucker because the way I fell on it it didn't break, but it hurt so bad, let me tell you. Then I ran as fast as I could in the street and found Tim, Joe and Will two streets away from the place. At the time I tought my arm was fine, but the next morning I looked at it and there was a fucking huge blue spot on the side of it and I couldn't move it.
But that wasn't enough for Will. He wanted some more action. So he got "The idea II". "Look, I've got to take a shit real bad, so let's make that profitable" he said. Then a large horizon of possibilities opened to me, but we did the safest and probably most classic thing: The brown paper bag full of shit that you light up on someone's porch. The only difference was that we used human defecation wich is pretty damn gross... and that it was fucking 1:30 AM. Classic but hilarious (altough pretty much everthing was at that moment)
We then bought a paper bag at some store that was open at the time and went to find the perfect place to set it. Will took a huge shit in it (I kid you not the bag was weighting about 1 fucking pound) and Tim took it along with my lighter. Joe, Will and me hid in the bushes in front of the house to see what would happen. Tim sat on the porch and started lighting it when we saw a police car coming out on the street (we later guessed that since we were down the guy's porch making a whole damn lot of noise and his window was open that he called them and since the police station is very close to the place we were, it made perfect sense). Let me tell you we didn't think one billionth of that when we saw the flashing blue and red lights. Then it appeared to me how dumb we were. It was 1:30 AM, we were four teenagers lighting up something like a fire in front of a private propriety. As that tought came in my legs started running without my consent making me trip, and guess what?
I fell on my arm, again.
I didn't care. I just got up, didn't have the slightest care about anybody or anything else and ran like a bitch. I ran two blocks away from there and stopped, out of breath. I could still hear the police car's sirens (probably searching for us, wich meant that none had been caught, thank god) but they were distant. I took my bus home and went to bed. I spoke to Will, Joe and Tim today and they said they all got away with it too.
We were pretty fucking lucky on that night, considering the fact that we were half drunk half stoned. I still can't move my arm, I hope it's not broken.
Weed, Booze and Cigars - a deadly combo in-fucking-deed.
User Reviews
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-25 00:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You broke even only because I experienced something similar:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41076
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2004-08-25 00:10:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Joe, Will and me
====================
Joe, Will and I!
Or
Joe, Will and Myself
Submitted by RideJohnnyRide (user info) at 2004-08-25 00:07:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
omg lieqk im a rebel and there ewere drugs and alcohol and cops man holy shit cops
Submitted by blueballs at 2004-08-24 23:55:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
eeh...shit like this happens to me on a daily basis...not that big a deal
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-08-24 23:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Adventures eh??
If it were 1952 and you were in rural Utah...
You would still be the biggests squares in the land
GO BEARS WOO!!!