Bad Idea #1: upsetting your waiter (770 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 2 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Oxanar (View user info) at 2004-08-25 15:02:54 EDT
I used to work for a large Italian restaurant chain, whose parent company also owns the Baby Back Rib place. I did everything from waiting tables to bartending to new-store-openings to management. I was good (that's a relative term, lay off), and I am only telling you this to preface the fact that the story I am about to tell you was very uncharacteristic of me.
It was late, around 10:30pm and a couple was camping my last table (definition of restaurrantese: camping, staying at your table waaay too long). The restaurant had closed at 10:00pm and I was doing my closing duties (every server has things they need to do to help clean the joint). My final closing duty was to clean and shut down the Cappuccino machine, which my table happened to be conveniently sitting right next to. I had delivered the check to the couple nearly 30 minutes ago and they had not paid. I knew this because every now and then as I was wiping down the machine I would make eye contact with the man and he would stare blankly back as if I was expecting him to do something...yeah jackass, pay the bill maybe. Well, I finished shutting down the Cappuccino machine and time had come for me to intervene and drop the most popular "pay your bill" hint. I asked if I could get them anything else (note they had sat for 30 minutes without anything, so this obviously means, pay and get the hell out). The man looked up at me and with the most deadpan delivery asked for a cappuccino.
I smiled.
"My pleasure", I said.
As I turned my back to my guest and reached for those large coffee cups, a sheepish grin found its way to my face. I needed to run to the back of the store to grab some milk and suitably I took the cup along with me. After grabbing the milk I stared in the coffee cup and hesitated. Guilt came over me, but then I thought, this asshole watched me for 20 minutes cleaning and shutting down that machine. Guilt lasted for 2 more seconds.
I headed back out to the machine with a milk jug in one hand and the cup containing my treasure in another.
I placed the cup under the machine and let the espresso brew into it. I took the milk and poured some of it into the metal steamer can. I looked over to the man and smiled as I moved the steamer up and down, perfecting his cappuccino froth, all the while letting his coffee steep with my present.
Ahhh capucino bliss, the aroma reached up to my nose and I lost myself in the wonderful concoction I was making my guest.
I smiled at the man again as I slowly mixed the milk into the cup. A twinkle gleamed in my eye as I gently spooned the froth onto his coffee. Milky white peaks of foam gently floated as I sprinkled on a tiny amount of cinnamon. I nestled the cup onto its little round serving plate and nudged a biscotti next to my victim's spoon.
"Here you are sir".
He grunted something unintelligible, obviously aware that I was enjoying myself while submitting to his command for coffee.
He raised the cup to his lips and sipped. He looked up at me and nodded, a sign that he approved.
From that point on I could have cared less how long he stayed.
Its a good thing there's always a spare Playboy in the employees bathroom.
Never, ever piss of your server.
User Reviews
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-08-27 10:33:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Erghness.
Some retard macdonald's worker had a habit of doing the same into the milkshake machine somewhere near here, north london town. He was only caught due to a random food test which happened to show (they test for it?) man-mayo. So they secretly videod him at it. The perverts.
I have a copy of said tape if anyone's interested.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ew.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:42:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome! As a fellow server (former, anyway) I feel your pain.
Not the be a shameless linkwhore, but if you want to check out one of my adventures in serving lowlifes - http://www.ubersite.com/m/35755
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
True dat. I always worry about this when I'm eating out.
For you, my friend...
...................2222222...........!!!!!!.
................222.......222.......!!!!!!!!!!
......+...................222.........!!!!!!!!.
......+.................222............!!!!!..
+++++++........222................!!...
......+...........222.......................
......+.........222.....................!!...
................2222222222..........!!...
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cuban b!
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23109
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<pukes>
I worked at Ruby Tuesday my first year of college and there was this girl whose table sent back their margaritas because they weren't strong enough. They were pretty prickish about the whole thing, especially considering the girl didn't mix their drinks, a bartender did. Nonetheless, they yelled at her for it and she was pissed. She crouched behind the bar, FINGERED herself, wiped her finger all around the lip of the glass, and the bartender dunked it into the salt-it stuck. He poured the old drinks into new glasses, including the vaginal discharge crazy glue one, and topped them all with a Cabo Wabo floater. She brought the drinks back to the table, explained that their new drinks were mixed with a complimentary shot of topshelf tequila, and passed them out. The lady who ended up with the twat shot must have been a lesbian because she went up to the bartender afterward and told him it was the best-flavored margarita she had had since she was on a cruise ten years earlier.
Yeah. Be nice to your servers.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Totally awesome, shenanigans or not.
Submitted by oxanar (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:15:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok ok shenanigans.
Story is true except for the jizz. It was actually spit.
but man-juice makes a better story, more worthy of Uber.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sperm coffee is damn good let me tell ya.
Submitted by Dr. Stevenson <dr.stevenson.at.your.mom's.house> at 2004-08-25 15:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you asked him if it was creamy enough!
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:08:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of Road Trip when the kid didn't want powdered sugar on his french toast.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shenanigans.
But still funny.