... a bit strange (1028 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: goodfiction
Rating: 2 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2004-08-25 20:42:48 EDT
"What's that?" She was standing in the corner, pointing at the ground. From where I stood I could see nothing, so I ventured a little closer and looked down. I saw nothing.
I opted to stay silent, you can't be wrong if you don't talk (this is a lesson I learned early on). She continued to wag her finger, alternately between the corner and me. "What is that?!" her face was large and red, dimples were forming on her contorted chin, I could see dampness forming on her brow.
I heaved a huge shrug, I put my whole body into that shrug- showing her with my body what I could not get my mouth to say- I don't know. The sigh that came from her put my massive shrug to shame- I feared it would blow her over. Or blow me over. One of us was bound to topple.
She crouched down and reached for something on the floor. I was bubbling with anticipation! What was there?! Did she find some magic? She righted herself and held her palm out for my inspection. I leaned in, and I'll tell you, I was a bit wary! Of course I'd seen specials on television about magic, devils, spirits and the like. I knew some were good, but overwhelmingly most things unknown were evil.
"Look!" She pointed at her palm and I saw the glint.
It was a staple. It was bent, as staples tend to be after ejection from the stapler. The unusual thing was that it was not attached to paper- a solitary, apparently used staple, with no paper. Now, that's not magic, but it is odd, in my opinion.
I looked from the staple up to her eyes, hoping she had an explanation. She was very excited, so that assured me that she may have some amazing news to share with me about this staple.
"I told you to vacuum! Did I NOT make your job clear to you? Are you in a rush?" her eyes were bulging. How did such big eyes happen into such small sockets, I wonder? Does it pain her at all? Probably not. I read once that eyes do not have nerves.
She stared at me with those eyes, and I knew I'd have to talk. I opened my mouth, hoping that my voice would heed this cue and start working on it's own. It did not.
I stood before her bulging eyes with my open mouth. I would be lying if I said that the thought of her eyeball lolling about inside of my mouth wasn't on my mind. It surely was. My mind wanders all to often. Even if mom hadn't told me this my whole life, I do believe I would know it on my own. One thing I do know is that I am dumb. I am not dumb enough, however, to try to explain my thoughts to anyone. Instinctively I know it is better that I keep Me to Myself.
"Um." I said, and then closed my mouth. Her eyes continued looking at me, it was as if I hadn't said a thing! Per social protocol, I realize it was time for her to talk. She did not notice this. "Do you want to tell me something?" I asked helpfully, prodding her along. You see, not everyone is aware of social protocol. People like you and I, we know, but just because we know we can not assume the same of everyone else.
Before I realized what was happening she walked away, taking her big dimpled face and bug eyes with her. I hurried to follow because I did not wish to miss any action with the aforementioned staple. Would she save it? Would it be discarded? It would make sense to throw it away since it was not holding paper together as staples are meant to do, but surely that's a waste!
She surprised me by stopping at the closet. She stopped with no warning! I walked into her, but of course, it was not my fault. If she did warn me of her decision to stop, I would have slowed my pace earlier, but she is prone to sudden movements and cesation of said movements. Of course, it is my duty to be aware, and by now I should know her moving tendencies, but I do not. It is one of my faults. I am not good at picking up on moving tendencies as quick as some people.
To add on to the surprises of the evening, she sighed again. The same exact type of sigh that she had responded to my shrug with! This time I could not stop myself from being blown, and I fell back. The floor was carpeted, so I was not hurt as I would have been if I had fallen on tile or cement, but it did shock me quite a bit to find myself suddenly looking up at the ceiling.
You know, when you're near cars, and you wonder how long they have been parked? Gingerly placing your hand on the hood to feel for warmth? Well, she pulled out the vacuum and felt the canister as one would feel the hood of a car while out for a stroll. Surely the same logic applies, and she would feel that the canister was warm. I had just finished cleaning, and I had parked the vacuum in the closet just minutes ago.
"Did you vacuum???" Her hand was still on the canister. I feared she would burn herself.
"Hey, watch yourself! Take your hand from there!" my body moves as quickly as my words, and as I uttered this warning I moved to grasp her wrist. I pulled her hand away, and turned it over to inspect her palm for burns. I only saw the used (but paperless!) staple stuck to her- it was near her lifeline. That must be significant.
Again with the sigh. Don't worry. This time I had braced myself against the doorwall.
It seemed as if she were trying to talk to me with her face. It was moving, almost in a fluid manner. It went from bunched tight and dimpled to loose and fleshy... then it morphed into a tense sort of expression. What was she saying with those eyebrows that she was flexing in around her bulging eyes? I thought hard. I opened my mind, allowing for any extra-sensory images to come in.
It was blank.
I need to work on this skill, obviously.
She took to wagging her finger again, this time it was not towards the corner, but towards the door. Wagging wagging wagging while her face was contorting and swelling and her eyes were bulging and watering.
I left for the day, excited to go home and ask mom what it all meant.
Some people are so strange.
User Reviews
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-02 00:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy crap.
I didn't know what that review meant, "aspergers?", so I just googled.
http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/
!!
I am facinated!
Excuse me while I drown myself in this new topic.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-08-31 16:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed the point. I feel dumb.
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-08-30 06:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Asperger's?
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-08-27 15:02:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A _bit_ strange? Hell, this is a whole shitload of strange! This shit here is all shades of strange! It's fucking goddamn weird. This contains kinds of strange I didn't even imagine existing. This is the epitome of strangeness!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-08-27 11:10:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not that is the shit.
9/12 indeed.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-08-26 11:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Daking- you try and receive ESP messages from people? tee hee
and ahem... no, there is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
freak
Submitted by Spookster (user info) at 2004-08-26 00:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-08-26 00:06:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RideJohnnyRide (user info) at 2004-08-25 23:53:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that is how i think.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-25 22:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell I am. Does that mean that soemthing is wrong with me.
You now at times someone is mouthing off at me and my head just goes 'click'. Then I am like watching a pantomine and at times it is hard not to laugh when I shouldn't.
I loved the eyeballs line. At least business meetings have some productive results although I am sure mostly not the ones the management think they are getting.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-08-25 22:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Daking- no, I don't think I'm like this at all.
Admittedly, I'm a bit eccentric- but not in this way at all.
This post is a result of a business meeting I was at today. I was bored and tuning out the speaker, and instead of taking notes I was writing stories... go figure. The rest of the day I was extremely gaurded with my notebook, lest someone wander by and notice my paper saying something like, "the thought of her eyeball rolling around in my mouth..." instead of the required "effective business managers know how to listen actively. This requires blah blah blah blah".
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-08-25 21:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely done.
Sometimes it is fun to just divorce yourself from a situation and watch it happen like you are watching a movie. I wonder how it feels if you are Autistic. I guess a bit like your story here?
Submitted by certar (user info) at 2004-08-25 21:32:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-08-25 21:25:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
unusual and interesting
Submitted by LizardSpark (user info) at 2004-08-25 21:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like it when I get blown. Quirky, yet not Quercus. Good job.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-08-25 21:14:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-25 21:09:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-25 21:03:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't get it.
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Aptly titled post.
Submitted by Leena at 2004-08-25 21:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck? this is going to take forever for me to read. +fucking2 anyway cause I'm biased-ish
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-25 21:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-25 21:03:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't get it.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-08-25 21:05:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-25 21:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't get it.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2004-08-25 20:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was great.
Some people are indeed strange.
Submitted by Krautski (user info) at 2004-08-25 20:44:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SLUT!