Anger Problem! (290 hits)
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Submitted by Liam Duffy <liamduffy606.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-08-26 02:25:09 EDT
So, I stole a car and had a sudden burst of road rage, the court said that I need to attend 'Anger Management Classes' for 48 hours. I pleaded with the obviously insane Judge Knob-head but he hated me because I ran over his dog (It was his only friend). I went to the first meeting and I'm telling you, it was full of 'special' people. The guy who was the chair man of the meeting was Dr. Floopinshteingouberretisc (don't try to pronounce it, you will only end up hurting yourself), seeing as though this was a very long unnecessary and idiotic name I just called him Doc, the other people in the group were George, Pete, Bob, Theia and Leto, they all had their own problems George was gay, Pete was on the edge-nervous, Bob had anger problems, Theia was a prostitute and Leto was a she-male.
So now what? Now I'm stuck with these assholes for 48 hours of anger fucking management. Could I cope? Could I fuck! The first thing I had to do was introduce myself to the rest of the 'class' so I said "My name is Liam the Great and I'm only here because I ran over the Judge's dog." As you can see it was not my fault. They all saw this as worse then why they were there for (raping murder etc.). The whole hour was based around being relaxed and meditating, they call it meditating I call it sleeping. The end of the lesson came and the Doc decided to try one of his new methods where he gives us all a person to be our 'Anger Buddy' Guess who I got? I got Pete.
I knew that I could not take the 47 hours of anger management and to have a nervous dickhead contacting me every time I took a step. So I came to the conclusion, If I can't avoid them get rid of them. A plan immediately came to me that would get rid of Pete for good. I invited him over to my house and we sat down and I told him to tell me what he 'felt' after he rambled on for about 20 minuets I started to tell him what he could do...commit suicide, and he did.
The next day Dr. Floopinshteingouberretisc gave me another 'Anger Buddy' this time it was George. He was going to be an easy one to get rid of. The first thing I said to him was "There's a gay pride parade on every day in Ohio". He was gone in a second, literally, so Doc gave me Theia as my "Anger Buddy". That night I went home and called up the local brothel and asked for a girl that had AIDS. I had her come over to my house, the moment she walked in, I smashed her over the head with a golf club and extracted the AIDS from her (Yes I am that smart I can extract AIDS form a person). I got on the phone and called Theia up and seduced her over the phone, I invited her to come to my house, I took her upstairs and shagged her brains out then while we were having our fag, I gave her a glass of wine with a 20 sleeping pills in her glass and low and behold she fell a sleep in an instant (like custard) I injected the AIDS into her and left her a note for when she woke up, I had already bought a plane ticket to Germany and a new identity for her, her name is now Galaxia and she's a waitress. That's 3 down and 2 to go
After Dr. Floopinshteingouberretisc heard that Theia/Galaxia had moved to a different country, he assigned my new buddy to be Leto. He/She was easy to break I just insulted 'it' until 'it' cried and then I told 'it' that 'it' should just commit suicide and 'it' did. Now the Doc was getting worried that I might kill Bob so he accompanied Bob everywhere when we met at the next meeting I threw a knife into the back of Bobs head and then I tied the Doc to the floor and pulled each nipple 5 inches away from his body and then cut them off, I sharpened my knife with his tongue and slowly sliced the guys balls off which I then stuffed in his mouth and plugged his nose with them so he suffocated.
Obviously Judge Knob-head heard about all of this and called me back to the court room but instead I hired a look a like (he was very cheap-he either worked for me or I kicked the shit out of him) I sent him in there and in the middle of the session I blew the entire Court House up with a B-12 bomber plane which was followed by a Nail bomb I had planted in there so it would kill any survivors if any. I had a restful nights sleep that night.
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Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2004-08-26 12:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
uff!