strawberry snapple sediments (468 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: -0.5 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by screaney (View user info) at 2004-08-26 13:41:32 EDT
now i'm not one to gripe about how much i have to pay for bottled juice, but today i thought i might just vent a little. snapple: here's a company that i once had a modicum of respect for. the name itself lends feelings of snappy fruity apples. hey, the lid even makes a chirpy, snappy noise when clicked correctly. ahhh snapple. but today snapple pissed me off royally. snapple cost me $1.75 for strawberry fruitiness (it wasn't strawberry-kiwi flavour either) and delivered a quenching slurry of extravagent fruit flavour. i was feeling pretty good. so good in fact, i had to read the ingredients. as i was slurping down my god-damned liquid orgasm, i noticed that snapple 'only uses natural fruit flavours and real fruit ingredients.' my word! how impressive? good to see my money was spent wisely in investing in the harvesting of strawberry orchards. there was a side note mentioning that 'not all snapple drink consistencies and textures would be the same from bottle to bottle as a result of the real fruit extracts being from real different fruit'...or something to this measure. well, i'm satisfied....i think....
then as i'm nearing the end of my thirst-quencher, so elated by the experience, i just have take a look and marvel at what i'm drinking. expecting a euphoric rainbow of zany fruity colour, i notice that near the bottom of the pale concoction is a quarry of floating debris. yyummm....what is this? i never knew drinks included flakey tidbits of deliciousness. but... they aren't strawberry bits or seeds. they don't even look palatable. then i notice this ring of encrusted sputem encircling the bottom of the bottle. nasty. how much of this rotten strawberry had i imbibed? about 96% of it. what on god's green earth is the meaning of this stale, out-dated, out-rageous, stifling strawberry snapple sedimentary serum......i can't wait to vomit in about 1 hour......
i will never trust the snapple company to deliver that same jive of fruity goodness again....
hell.....
User Reviews
Submitted by screaney (user info) at 2004-08-26 14:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you bask in shit.....har har har....
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-08-26 14:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And thank you for your shitty posts, I bask in their warmth they emit.
Submitted by screaney (user info) at 2004-08-26 14:13:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-08-26 13:59:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's an idea. Start growing a garden. Get a juicer. Put them together. Problem solved.
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Here's an idea. Start praying to Allah. Get a little love. Strap on a bomb. Get a little love. Walk into a crowded Jewish neighbourhood. Get a little love. Start praying to Allah. Get a little love. Problem solved.
Just fucking with ya!!! =^.^= but really, thanks for the shitty reviews.....
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Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2004-08-26 14:09:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shake well. open, and enjoy.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-08-26 14:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Try sticking the bottle up your asshole and see if you can shake it out next time....
die.....
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-08-26 13:59:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's an idea. Start growing a garden. Get a juicer. Put them together. Problem solved.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-08-26 13:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth reading.