The Shittiest of all Shit (A contest of sorts) (824 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: 0.33 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Just Jme (View user info) at 2004-08-26 15:42:25 EDT
Yesterday I lost my job. I have been working my ass off for almost a year for my boss,
and then with no notice or explanation I was told that he needed to "let me go".
At first I was of course upset because I haven't done anything to warrant this
action.
But my sadness and confusion was soon a full blown rage.
So here is my proposal fellow Uberites.
I want your ideas on how to make my bosses life a living hell.
Even if I am too much of a puss to carry it out at least I will have the
satisfaction of thinking about it repeatedly while I sit on my ass and milk
unemployment.
The most wicked and dastardly suggestion will be rewarded with something
cheap and worthless. I haven't decided what yet but don't have any high expectations.
User Reviews
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-01-30 06:34:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
why the hell did you find this?
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-01-30 06:26:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This sucks. You suck.
Submitted by disgruntled at 2004-08-26 21:04:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and also don't forget to pour sugar in his gas tank. when the engine runs, sugar will melt into sticky fudge and screw up his engine *BIG* time. It'd probably have to be taken apart to be cleaned. Major financial trouble =)
Submitted by disgruntled at 2004-08-26 20:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Place an add in gay magazine with his phone number listed under the heading "Drugs? STDs? No problem. I got'em too!"
Submitted by TeenageDirtBag (user info) at 2004-08-26 20:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I know! you could fuck his wife and leave the condom in his coffee.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2004-08-26 20:36:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think I might have an idea...
First, take two shots of Absolut vodka and start yelling. Yell for about 5 minutes, it's like a warm-up. Don't yell anything in particular, just some loud vocal projections. Do this about 3 days so you can do it real loud and obnoxious. Make sure to do the vodka shots also, it warms the palette.
Take a drive up to your ex-employment offices on a friday afternoon. You might want some more shots of vodka for courage, so bring a flask. Barge in through the front of the door. Commence loud yell. Stand for 5-6 seconds yelling. Begin moving to boss's office. Knock on his door while yelling. Break down the door and proceed to kick your boss in the groin, or the taint region. Make sure to cover your face with a piece of cardboard.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-26 20:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Where to begin. First, you could fuck up his car. Put slices of bologna over his car. It takes off the paint. Then, *67 you number or call his house from a pay phone. Act surprised if his wife picks up and say, "Sorry, he told me I was the only one." Then hang up and call again the same time the next night. Say that he really wasn't working late and that you were haveing mad passionet sex with him and going over the divorce papers.
Just a start.
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-08-26 16:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wonderful ideas i am especially liking the poo face one.
Submitted by Sofa_Ace (user info) at 2004-08-26 16:17:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm generally a calm collective person. I don't get bent out of shape and run around bitching and moaning like people do.But if I were you, I would kidnap his wife if he has one, if not his mother will work. Then, you take a picture of her tied up in a chair, then go pay him a visit (make sure you do this in a relatively short period of time so he doesn't have time to call the cops). Then you tell him he needs to come with you, and if you don't show up on time there will be someone there to kill her. This ensures he will come along and won't try to attack you or call the cops or anything stupid like that. After you take him to whatever abandoned house buried deep in the woods you chose to hide the wife or mother at, you tie him up. (this is where it gets good) then you rape his wife or mother repeatedly in front of him, take breaks occasionaly to beat the shit out of him. This works like a charm. I usually keep them there for about a week before I kill them. You have to kill the wife or mother first. That's important, you want him to see that. And while your doing it, you have to scream at him, "This is your fault motherfucker. Your fault!". That's how it's done.
-2 for being so inept you got fired.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-26 16:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you can click on this
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43011
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-08-26 16:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by guydudeface at 2004-08-26 15:58:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
i got it man. poo in a zip lock bag, then go in and throw it at his face then laugh and call him poo face. then dance around and poo some more...im telling you. it's all about the poo!
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This is not worthy of a +2, but this response made me laugh.
Submitted by 91teggyRS (user info) at 2004-08-26 16:10:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rub a potato on his car and stick your keys in his tail pipe a la fresh prince of belair
Submitted by guydudeface at 2004-08-26 15:58:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i got it man. poo in a zip lock bag, then go in and throw it at his face then laugh and call him poo face. then dance around and poo some more...im telling you. it's all about the poo!