Why not to do the laundry (719 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.17 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <WiLL1790.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2004-08-26 16:27:15 EDT
Okay this story is 100.4% fake but I hate writing in 2nd and/or 3rd person
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We were advanced in some ways but totally left behind in others. For instance I had had four girlfriends when the rest of the friends just started to get over the cooties. But on the other hand I was terrible at sports. I always sucked at sports like baseball and football but, at other ones like Are you nervous?, Sexy chicken, and spin-the-bottle I was king. So one day I was at home just laying there on the coutch doing the laundry...well...i would be doing the "laundry" if my girlfriend's name was Laundry. So, yeah, im busy when the door rings...
"Fuck..ill get it"
"Hello? what the fu--ine day mrs tunner!" It was my fucking biology teacher Mrs. Tunner. Holy shit. Not only did she hate kids, have a massive mole on her cheek (and others specualate...elsewhere), she absolutly HATED the idea of "teen love." So my girlfriend's on the coutch and its not like she would get the drift and get dressed...no...no...shes a dumbass. She types using "lol" and "rolf" amongst others. She says totally.
In her words, Im totally screwed
So I shall try to fix the situation. Now im a relitively(again sp) smart kid but my brain wasn't at par. It was out somewhere else doing something else like getting hammered.
"Hello Brian How are you?"
"Im fine thanks and what do I owe this unexpected *cough* and tactless *cough* visit?"
"I will cut to the chase, I would like to discuss your grades, may I come in? They are under par with the rest of the class. I think we need to discuss better studing strategies."
Now im in complete shock. 1) Its tuesday, cant she possibly wait until TOMARROW!? 2) If she comes inside she'll see the "laundry" im doing.
"Sure, but I am doing the laundry. Would you wait here while I..er..cover it up? It won't take more than 5 minutes?"
"Why of course! Im glad you are finally looking after your cleanliness."
Flash-foward two minutes. I have covered my giggling girlfriend with a blanket and told her to be quiet. So I let the Fat-Eater-of-Babies inside. She looks for a seat big enough and the only peice of furniture that would support her was...the sofa with the laundry....my laundry...
"May I move the laundry?"
Now I know im screwed. If I say no she will look anyway and if i say yes she will pick up my girlfriend and drop her onto the floor.
"Sure..."
It seemed like forever for her to get a good grip on the laundry and when she finally was about to pick it up...!!! "Laundry" popped out screming and laughing.
"WHAT IS GOING ON???"
"Thats the laundry I was doing. I like doing the laundry, don't you?"
And as if on key my girlfriend reached up from the floor and kissed my teacher right on the mouth.
Mrs. Tunner collasped and when she was awoke by paramedics she requested to speak with my parents.
Ahh the joy of youth.
User Reviews
Submitted by will72 (user info) at 2004-12-22 16:39:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
its sheganigans....if i actually did that do you think i would waste time on uber? no, id be gettin ass.
Submitted by Wuzi (user info) at 2004-11-30 17:11:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thats some serious shenanigans
Submitted by goleafsgo (user info) at 2004-11-30 16:51:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by will72 (user info) at 2004-11-28 23:47:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no shit its shennagians
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2004-10-25 16:42:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
shenanigans
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-08-26 20:20:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-26 17:14:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RideJohnnyRide (user info) at 2004-08-26 17:10:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny in an "I smoke cocks" sort of way
Submitted by RideJohnnyRide (user info) at 2004-08-26 17:10:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny in an "I smoke rocks" sort of way
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-08-26 16:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
More stories like this please. Read some of the other comedy posts here and see how they are written to improve a bit.
Submitted by will72 (user info) at 2004-08-26 16:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Forgot to say: I suck so bring on the 2's!